Stroke

Thomas asked a question in response to my poem “Misunderstood.” What can we do to alleviate the problem of being misunderstood? The answer to such a broad topic is beyond the scope of this reply. Instead, I will confine my remarks to the reason I posted “Misunderstood” in the first place.

Posting “Misunderstood” was a knee-jerk reaction to my belief that my previous poem, “Haunting,” was misinterpreted. When my writing seems to evoke confusion rather than understanding, I become deeply frustrated. I started writing in earnest because I was experiencing symptoms of depressive psychosis and I wasn’t able to communicate that to my therapists through our conversations. When a session was over, I always felt that my file had been confused with someone else’s, because what my therapists said I was experiencing was milder than what my reality was. When a person experiencing depressive psychotic symptoms becomes suicidal, being misunderstood isn’t simply invalidating. It is life threatening when you have been buried alive, in desperate need of oxygen and a shovel, and the therapist keeps walking over your grave with a flashlight, thinking he can lead you out of the darkness. The isolation you feel in those moments is lethal, because you understand that if he could help you, he would have a shovel. If you truly mattered, he would have a shovel. When my writing is misinterpreted, I return to that place where the only person who can help me brought a flashlight to a shovel fight, because I failed to explain my situation clearly.

When the flashback goes, what passes for a rational state for me returns. A previous poem, “Unread,” talks about the risks of sharing writing. This is one for me. I accept this as a consequence of posting my work. I also acknowledge that many different interpretations of a poem are valid. Finally, I may simply be a bad writer. “Bad” means that I am trying to communicate specific things with my writing, and when the interpretation is the opposite of my intention, I have failed. It is probably an error on my part to bring a “specific meaning” mentality into poetry, but the habit is deeply ingrained.

The central point of “Haunting” is that the past is the only thing that exists. The idea of “being present” wasn’t on my mind at all when I wrote it. If readers are inspired to practice mindfulness and presence because of the poem, that is fine. However, if a reader asserted that I intended to highlight the importance of presence and mindfulness with this poem, they would be wrong. I had no such intention. “We were ghosts already./Haunting our own lives” isn’t a warning. We don’t live in the future, and the present is only a dividing line between future and past.

I have been removing overgrown vegetation from my yard with a European style sickle. Using a sickle requires presence of mind. You consider where each stroke is going to end. If it is going to end inside your foot, you reconsider. To paraphrase Yoda, always your mind on what you are doing. Doing otherwise is dangerous. I feel a sense of accomplishment, but not while I’m focused on avoiding amputating my foot. The sense of having done something resides in the near past, with my memory of having done it, along with my regrets. I was cutting down stinging nettles without gloves. Also residing in the past is a note to myself: use gloves next time, if the future-becoming-the-past includes gloves.

#Depression #MentalHealth #PTSD #Trauma #Suicide #Disability

Hi, my name is brodysmom. I'm here because I am struggling with BPD, trauma and grief mostly. I recently lost sight in my right eye because of a stroke the grief from that is bringing up previous loss of my wife and making my anxiety, BPD and PTSD harder to deal with. I am a lesbian, I just wanted to get that out because I want to be truthful to all of you and myself.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Migraine #PTSD #Grief

Hi, my name is dreamer86
When I was 32, it started with just eye pain then went completely blind in my left eye. I was sent to an eye doctor which diagnosed me with Optic Neuritis, then sent to palmetto infusion for steroids, but after time my vision came back but not all the way. They then sent me to a neurologist that said I had swelling on the brain and to be careful and watch for signs of a stroke. I thought the worst of everything what if something was to happen to me what would my baby girl do with out her mom then, I thought that was the end of it but it was really just the beginning. A year later I was at work and noticed my right leg was dragging behind me but I didn’t let it stop me I kept going, later that day I also realized I didn’t have feelings in my leg and I’m so glad a month before that I had switched neurologist, and she had me go for a MRI ,blood work. That’s when everything changed. They found a golf ball size lesions on my brain and I was diagnosed with MS August 2019.

I was a hard working single mom, And in one moment I felt that everything was over and everything I use to do, I would not be able to do. I had to come to how to live in constant pain, how to function while completely exhausted. How to accept that some days, I need help — mobility aids, support, and rest.

MS affects me every single day, even if you can’t see it. Behind the smiles, I carry the quiet weight of knowing that at any moment, I could lose so much. But even with all of that, MS didn’t break me. It made me stronger. It made me grateful. It made me a fighter. It showed me who my true friends are. It revealed the strength of my family and the love that surrounds me. No, my life will never be the same. But it’s still mine. And I’m still here — living it with courage, heart, and purpose.

Now here I am 7 years later getting diagnosed with osteoarthritis that will soon turn to rheumatoid arthritis, and degenerative disc disease at the age of 39. I was told I have to walk with a cane are walker and have braces on my legs. I’m thinking oh my at such a young age why me, but I know I’m strong and will always keep going and keep pushing through. The nurse that day asked my pain level and I told her, and she said you don’t look like it, I said that cause I’ve learned to smile through the pain and discomfort, that I have had for the past 3years.
#MightyTogether #Depression #MultipleSclerosis #ADHD #Anxiety #Migraine #Osteoarthritis

I have so much shit on my plate right now, I'm so overwhelmed!!! Between needing to pack, try and get money for storage, figure out how to safely make it down 4 flights of steps and back up to do laundry while barely able to stand up, get the trash out, all my appointments from home health to Drs ... I'm so exhausted! I can't do it all myself. Didn't mention I have 21 days to find a place and move out...

I have no help. The home health people don't help with anything, just vitals, nagging, notes, and exercise... I just think, "Okay b*tch my blood work is normal I'm not dehydrated, take the water crap and shove it. " Hell, between them and my family they just smile and nod when I say "i haven't been eating much cause I don't feel safe cooking, can't sit or stand long enough."

My family, "Be grateful you have family to help..." then when I need help, "Can you offer maintenance a few bucks to do it for you?" wtf?

I want out. I don't want to be in pain anymore.

( no religious replies, please.)

#overwhelmed #Stroke #POTS #CRPS

It's sad that we have to worry about being gaslighted by our doctors and the people who are supposed to care.

I was worried after my tilt table test because how the nurse described it, basically it's the cardiologist personal interpretation when reading it. Not that I wanted a POTS diagnosis but any diagnosis is validation of what I have been experiencing.

Today I was validated, all the falls and light-headedness, dizziness make sense now. They suspected it and tossed the diagnosis around. - I have POTS.

It's a weight off my shoulders in I know what's going on but in another way it's a darkness I'm walking in to. I have so many questions.What does my future life look like with POTS and CRPS?

Will I lose my independence for good? No more long walks alone because I could pass out? Am I wheelchair bound because I could fall and seriously injure myself?

#POTS #CRPS #Stroke

What do you do when you're tired of being poked and examined? I just want to cancel all appointments and say enough. The amount of appointments and tests coming up is overwhelming.

I'm worried they'll gaslight me with this, "well tests are normal...are you seeing a therapist?"

Okay dude my tests may be normal but my depression isn't causing my blood pressure to drop or the gastro bleeding...

I need a break from life.

The little happiness I've had in my 38 years is not even a half percent worth the physical, emotional pain and heartache I've experienced and it just keeps piling up. This isn't a gift, it's hell.

( please no religious replies. Thanks.)

#CRPS #POTS #Stroke #MDD #Gaslightling #exhaustion #givingup

Hello everyone,
It’s with a heavy heart that I share the passing of my beloved husband. He battled both stroke and traumatic brain injury, and for years we did all we could to keep him comfortable at home, surrounded by love. Losing him has left an emptiness I can’t explain—but I hold onto the peace that we gave him comfort and dignity in his final days.

Now, I have a collection of medical equipment that supported him—items that were well cared for and still have so much to offer. I would be honored to give these to someone who truly needs them.

Available items include:

Foldable power wheelchair

Hospital bed

Portable oxygen concentrator

CPAP machine

Recliner lift chair

Bedside commode

Walker with seat

Suction machine

Blood pressure monitor

Feeding pump

Overbed table

Pulse oximeter

Adult shower chair

Nebulizer

If any of these can help ease your burden or a loved one’s, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Giving them a second life would mean the world to me.

Grief has many layers. One of the hardest is sitting with the quiet after all the care and love you’ve poured into someone. I’m choosing to let some of that love keep moving—by giving away the medical items that once brought my husband comfort. If they can ease someone else’s pain, then something good still grows.

#griefsupport
#Caregiving
#medicalequipment
#disabilitysupport
#strokerecovery
#TBI
#Loss
#ChronicIllness
#HomeCare #MightyTogether #giveaway #WidowSupport