suicide attempt survivors

“If you are concerned about a loved one, it’s important to have honest conversations. You can ask directly if they have any suicidal thoughts,” said Maggie G. Mortali, NAMI-NYC CEO.

For #SuicidePreventionMonth Maggie joined NY1 to share tips on how to support your loved ones experiencing suicidal thoughts. Learn more here: Advocate discusses reducing mental health stigma

#Suicide #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth

(Edit: Maybe the Mighty mobile app is just buggy for me, so sorry if this doesn’t seem right. I’ve had a tough day.)
I don’t get it. I wasn’t breaking any rules. I wasn’t looking for attention. This just feels straight up invalidating especially at times when I need to reach out to here the most. I’m starting to wonder if anyone actually cares…

What I wrote
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I feel like I’m such a mess. Some days I genuinely fear of dying it scares me, some days are great, and then there are days like today where I almost self-harmed and thought of killing myself. I have such big mood swings sometimes that it’s not even funny. It’s so fucking hard no matter how much I fucking try to ground myself. What and how the hell am I supposed to control this? I do see a therapist, and I’m on meds, but what the fuck? 😢

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #MentalHealth #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #AutismSpectrum #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #triggerwarning

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I just had a freaking creepy nightmare and now I’m hesitant to go back to sleep. I wish sleep wasn’t a necessity. I feel like wanting to die.

I just upped my sleep medication to 2 pills instead of one right now because I’m so fucking tired of this. If this doesn’t work, perhaps I really should end my life. I can’t take anymore of this. The stress dreams have been way too fucking constant lately, and we have yet found out exactly why. Even I’ve gotten over my stressors at times and many days have been great, yet I still get them. It wasn’t like this before!!! 😢😡

Also, I really wish that there was a dark mode for the Mighty app. I’m a big dark mode user and I often have to dim my screen to the lowest brightness setting just to write on here. Just a feature suggestion!

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Trauma #StressDreams #dreams #Nightmares

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And not just because of that horrendous president. Everything costs so high these days, and more and more online programs are forcing us to pay for subscriptions and locking actual useful shit behind a paywall. What happened to stopping poverty?! We’re not made of money!! They’re only just making things worse…… even private and secure mail services like Mailfence.

And now I’m wondering about ending my life again. I’m just… so fucking sick of this shit. I’ve lost all faith in the US, and I hate being American. I’m sick of all of this talk about money and inflation, I’m sick of this president (why the fuck was he elected twice?!), I’m sick of feeling so ignored in this damn cruel world, I’m sick of this damn pain… I don’t want to be in a world that treats everyone and especially minorities so harshly…

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #FeelingKindOfHopeless

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How the fuck do I go back and forth between “I really don’t want to die” and genuinely fearing death even though I’m 23 years old to wondering if I should’ve just been dead already?? Is positivity and negativity within me just a constant battle? Likely very much so. 😒

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Autistic #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Trauma #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

Last post for context: What do I do…?? | TW mentions of stress dreams and one swear

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I’ve moved out of where I used to live with my mom and one of my older sisters (has 3 kids now) 2 years ago. I think because it’s summer break for my 2 older nephews, I’m now getting a lot more stress dreams related to my mom and my older sister (my mom was the persecutor of emotional abuse, and I never liked my sister since she’s similar and agrees with her often).

I dropped out of high school after sophomore year many years ago because of being constantly overstimulated and high levels of stress and meltdowns I’ve had over there (especially when constantly trying to get the best grades in a very unnecessarily strict school, horrible place for autistic individuals like me!!). After that, I’ve noticed that more stressful dreams came up after that and it was almost everyday that I’ve gotten them at that point. Now, for that theme, it isn’t too much, usually 1to 3 times a week.

Now, I’m getting these stress dreams related to my mom and older sister constantly ever since late June. Before then, it was a mix of dreams of school and mom and sister for 1 to 3 times a week. Even when I’ve had great days, nothing has changed, not even yesterday. If I’m right, these dreams may last until late August when my 2 older nephews go back to school again. I really fucking hope not, I can only carry so much. I really don’t want them to fucking last for that long, I hate getting them and I don’t want to fucking deal with them anymore. I’m sick of it. How the fuck as I supposed to look forward to sleep now?!

I worry that if this continues for longer, I’m going to start feeling suicidal again. I can already feel that happening as I’m already fucking sick of these dreams every fucking day (there had been like 2 or 3 days where I didn’t had them, not consecutively, either). Why do I even have to fucking deal with this? Why did my early life had to be like this?!

#OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #Trauma #StressDreams #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Vent #triggerwarning #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Autistic

I had a meltdown because of all of this negativity from my mother, anxiety and all. It was too much. I stayed in my closet + blanket from 9:30am to 1:10pm. The nurses were looking for me and they were really anxious and worried but I couldn't unhide. I couldn't press the button to call the nurses. I just hid as I always do... I didn't even ate..

One of the nurses were really "heartbroken" I think because he tried to befriend me the past few days..

I just keep thinking what if my mother is the one in the truth ? What if I'm imagining everything? What if I just want to draw attention to me ?

#MentalHealth #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Autism #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #PanicAttacks #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Depression #PanicAttack #EatingDisorder #EatingDisorderRecovery #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors