Sympathy

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On the topic of Addiction

"General population surveys have documented that approximately 75% of individuals with a substance use disorder have experienced trauma at some point in their lives."
-- PubMed Central, National Library of Medicine.

Time and time again, I see comments from people online saying things like:

* People with addictions have no-one to blame but themselves.
* Addiction is a lifestyle choice.
* Addiction only happens to certain kinds of people.
* People with addiction are all criminals.
* People with addiction need tough love. Helping them just enables drug use.
* Addiction medications are just replacing one addiction with another.
* People with addiction are hopeless.
... and on and on it goes.

Statistics show that the vast majority of people with addictions are doing it to self-medicate. Some things, such as some types of illicit drugs, have the additional side effect of feeling good while they're being taken, but my argument is that people don't take them primarily for that reason.

They take them to dull/block out emotional and/or physical pain.

[Aside: I, until 2.5 months ago, used to do the same thing with nicotine, be it smoking and/or vaping. Every time I felt stressed or anxious, I craved nicotine. My body screamed for it. And I would find myself huddled somewhere away from everyone else, puffing away, because smokers are considered pariahs these days.]

Not every form of emotional pain is linked to trauma, but every traumatic backstory leads to emotional pain. It's perfectly understandable to want to kill that pain with whatever you can get your hands on, whatever works. Let's face it; Mindfulness really doesn't help with genuine distress, it helps with mild symptoms.

Tearing into people with addictions helps no-one - *especially* not the person with the addiction. It makes them feel worse than they already do. Don't people realise that the person with the addiction already *knows* they're addicted, and likely wish they weren't?

With seeking help for addictions comes the realisation and reality that once you kick the habit, the feelings you were trying to kill will come flooding back. Often it feels like they come back with a vengeance, to make up lost time, as it were. Quitting an addiction is downright heroic, because you have to face all your inner demons.

That's why addiction centres usually have 28-day programs, full of group and 1:1 therapy sessions. It takes approximately a week for the drugs to leave a person's system (the detox process is usually brutal in and of itself), then they need time and help afterwards. They also need to be among people going through a similar process, for inspiration and support.

[Aside: For anyone interested in the topic of addiction centres, I recommend the movie '28 Days' (not to be mistaken for '28 Days Later', a *very* different genre of movie.) It's a comedy, but does go quite deep into the more serious aspects of addiction. You can rent it through the Google TV or YouTube apps; it used to be available upon Netflix, but they've since removed it.]

Have you noticed the language I have been very careful in using for identification, yet? At no point have I used the word 'addicts'; I have always used the term 'people with addictions'. That is deliberate, as people are not natural addicts. They have addictions. I'm not sure if I believe in the so-called 'addictive gene' theory. I suspect I lean more into the no camp, as I believe the main cause of addiction is trauma, not genetics. That doesn't mean, however, that the two can't be at play, simultaneously. I am open to being wrong.

So the next time you see a person with an addiction, be it out on the street, in a psych ward, or even just looking into your bathroom mirror, think about what might have brought them to that point in their lives, and seek for some compassion and sympathy within yourself. If you're walking, or have walked the addiction path before, you can also try some empathy. It costs nothing, but means everything.

No-one chooses for their life to feel out of their control. They don't choose the tragedies in their past. They don't choose addiction.

#MentalHealth #Addiction #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #SubstanceUseDisorders #PTSD #Trauma #compassion #Sympathy #Empathy #AddictionRecovery #Recovery

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About to lose my mind #Lupus #ChronicFatigue #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Fibromyalgia #Anxiety #Depression

I am SO OVERWHELMED. 😭 If I see one more doctor that gives me bad(ish) news but no complete results and then sends me to ANOTHER specialist I am going to LOSE MY MIND.
I'm sure I'm not the only one...has anyone else experienced this?! I have a diagnosis but so many other things seem wrong, my body is giving out on me and it's so stressful, frustrating and disheartening! I'm behind on everything in life because I have been trying to figure out what's wrong for over a month now. I'm behind on my work, I haven't been on this app in months, the house is a disaster and I just want to feel better 😭😭send some positive vibes my way please 💕💕 And I'm sorry for all my fellow warriors who are dealing with this too!!!!
#Lupus #Fibromyalgia #WellnessMonth #Anxiety #Depression #overwhelmed #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #exhausted #Sympathy #frustrated #mightywarriors #MightyTogether

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Simplicity..

Today someone asked me “How is your dad doing?”. It may seem simplistic to most but it meant a great deal to me. No one outside of family members ever asks me about any personal aspect of my life with genuine concern or without selfish intentions or motives behind their “concern”. Thank you to that awesome person! I pray that blessings are gifted to you and your family are 100x greater than the blessing of temporary meaning you gifted me! 🙏🏾❤️

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Empathy #Sympathy #Care #Anxiety #Depression #Cancer #Support #PayItForward #humanity #Positivity #ActsOfKindness #MightyTogether #mightystrong

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How are you dealing with people who don’t get your diseases?

I can’t avoid taking it personal when that person doesn’t seem to understand me in any way. Most of the time it seems like they’re not even trying to.
Is it my fault? Is it their fault, even if they’ve probably just never learned how to handle people with mental issues? Is there a fault? It’s just so difficult to stay in touch with them because my diseases take a lot of space in my life.
#Anxiety #Depression #AnorexiaNervosa #Selfworth #trustissues #FearOfAbandonment #Sympathy #Autism #Support

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Sympathy

I hate when people try to do sympathy towards you. Such as when they say “you’ll get better!” Or “poor you”. I know my own body and disability issues. It’s permanent! No I won’t get better. Also when people ask “were you in a car accident” or “were you a smoker?” Just because I have a trach. Doesn’t automatically assume stuff. I was born with it due to health issues. I wasn’t supposed to be alive but here I am. Doctors kept saying I wouldn’t make it until 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10 years of ages. I’m 24 now and I’m still here. So please next time you see me. Don’t say you’ll get better. Or poor you. You don’t know my story or struggles. I don’t want sympathy, I want to feel normal. But I can’t when you say things like this. There are right ways to approach me and there are wrong ways. Especially depending on if I’m having a good health day or a bad health day. #Sympathy #Disability #Trach

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