Back when I was 25. I was a vibrant kindergarten teacher. I loved my job. There was another teacher put in my classroom. I had difficulty getting along w her. I complained to the principal. I complained to another teacher.
The principal took the other teacher out of my classroom. The teachers got very upset. I heard voices walking to my classroom the next morning. I was afraid to go to work.
I went to a diagnostic psychiatrist. He said I should go in the hospital.
At the time I knew nothing about psychiatry. I came back to work and told a teacher I had been in the hospital.
In the hospital the therapist/md/doctor changed everything about me. I had a toxic boyfriend. This md/psychiatrist/therapist help rid me of this toxic boyfriend. I then met another man who I fell madly in love w. This man asked me to marry him. The md/therapist/doctor when I told him this-this therapist said- “ I don’t think so.”
I started having a difficult time at work. I was a teacher- a teachers job doesn’t always go smoothly- the psychiatrist/md/therapist told me I should go in the hospital. I hated the hospital. I refused. Therapist said keep on going to work. Therapist dropped me immediately& gave me a new therapist, but I could not connect w her.
- I started to get very paranoid. I thought the teachers all knew my problem was my boyfriends. I started to ocd. I got confused as to the old me and the me this therapist devised. The old me I thought I wanted to be. I became very confused. I had trouble functioning.
I thought I had no support. When I told this doctor/ therapist I wanted to see my college friends- his reply was : “not yet.”
I did not marry this man. In the hospital the nurses drilled into us to trust your therapist. So, since this doctor didn’t think I should marry this man. This doctor never told me why I shouldn’t marry him. I did not marry him. I lost my job - I never understood what happens to me, so I could never make teaching work. Ever again. When I first saw this doctor I had minimal issues w my friends- college- that was never figured out- so I lost my college friends- I took a leave of absence and got very Sick - never to recover to the way I used to be.
Now I am as close to who I used to be as close as I can get. I get angry and bitter at times . So, I am not the person I was.
I do the best I can.
Life goes on. The voices I heard were because of this as well as prior behaviors I think. I would bury my feelings when I would do something upsetting up to this point.
Life goes on. I am married to a stable husband. No children. The marriage is platonic.
As time went on I experienced some delusions. This I believe was because I would bury my reactions to anything I did that was upsetting. I no longer have these.
I still have issues w my relationships today..
I do not know what would have happened if I went in the hospital that day.
I am bitter and angry for what has happe