TraumaRecovery

Just another day of surviving C-PSTD. Everything looks good on the outside. But on the inside, my stomach is twisted, my nervous system is barely functioning from overuse, and my soul is deeply exhausted.

The other day I was triggered by an employee at the DMV who did nothing but her job. I spiraled hard that day, I screamed and cried for hours. It wasn't just about the missing paperwork. It was the fact that I was never guided on how to do life or how to navigate adulthood. So every time I come face to face with a obstacle, and it doesn't pan out - Triggered.

First, I feel the weight hit my chest, then my stomach starts to churn. Tears are inevitable. But it's not just sadness. It's blinding hot rage and anger. I went home and collapsed into screams and sobs. At one point, I yelled at the photos of my departed mother, I find it harder to feel empathy for her with each passing day. It's hard to describe what I'm feeling on the inside or what it's like to heal from everything I experienced, so I'll try, it's word vomit, plus real vomit with a tidal wave of emotions with only one way out. Eventually, I passed out from exhaustion. My afternoon naps - those are the only times I really sleep. At night, the real demons come. In the dark. Where the other monsters reside.

Healing is a rollercoaster in my life. One minute I would be perfectly fine. The next - chaos.

I've learned this: healing is step by step. You define what that looks like.

I've noticed a pattern: first the emotions explode, then I sit. Then my mind starts sorting the facts. I need timelines,. Logic. The 5 W's: who, what, when, where, why.Eventually both sides of me - the emotional and the logical - meet. I can begin to co-exist with what happened. In the present and the past. Because once the emotional attachment releases, it's just a fact about me. And facts can't hurt me the way memories do.

I remind myself daily, I am not broken, I am merely carrying more weight than anyone should. About this post... these words... I've held them in my soul far too long.

To the reader that made it this far, I see you and I see your pain. I hope that you find what's been missing and reclaim it as your own.

#CPTSD #healingjourney #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealth #youarenotalone

Hello, 27 year old woman here living with complex PTSD from long-term trauma, and lately healing has felt really heavy. Even though I’m in therapy, I often feel more raw and alone than ever, like the more I try to get better, the more isolated I become.

I grew up in Philly in an environment that made me feel like I always had to be on guard. I was hurt a lot when I was young, especially physically, and it left me afraid of people in general for a long time. I’m slowly working through that, but connection is still really hard for me. I’m swallowing the fact that the people I’ve known only loved me when I didn’t love myself.

I joined this forum because I want to start gently reaching out, even if it’s just a little at a time. I don’t want to feel so alone anymore. If you’ve felt any of this too, I’d really like to hear from you. I tried to fine tune this post as my general bad experiences will definitely be triggering for those with c-ptsd/processing any form of trauma. I also tried going on Reddit to no avail. But it taught me about mindfulness in posting. It’s just hard to get across to others that I nitpick myself to the bone so I’d much rather suffer in my own pain than to chance potentially upsetting someone else in the attempt to get help for myself.

I hope to post more and open up more as I integrate through this platform.

#CPTSD
#TraumaRecovery
#Agoraphobia
#MentalHealth
#Anxiety
#Depression

Hi, my name is mimi. I am here because I believe in the quiet power of journalling and storytelling; the kind that turns wounds into wisdom and helps us feel a little less alone.I am a mother of five (two are foster children - now grown!), a late to the party psychology graduate, and a survivor of an abusive childhood and subsequent abusive relationships; who found her way back to self-worth through words.
At 50, I published Letters to the Woman I Was; a collection of letters to the younger me who stayed too long, gave too much, and forgot she was extraordinary.
I am here to connect, to contribute, and to remind anyone who needs to hear it:
“You are not broken. You were wounded. There’s a difference.”
We heal louder when we heal together, and life is beautiful x#MightyTogether #TraumaRecovery #MidlifeReinvention #LettersToTheWomanIWas

#MightyTogether

Lies upon lies, deception upon deception —

Secrets buried beneath secrets, a layered infection.

Crimes whispered in corners, dark shadows roam,

While the innocent are told to suffer alone.

They call it family, call it love,

But what god above could watch from above?

To silence a soul with a single demand —

"Stay quiet, stay loyal, don’t bite the hand."

But loyalty isn’t the cage they built,

It’s a noose made of gaslight, resentment, and guilt.

And silence — they say it brings peace —

But the truth screams louder, it will never cease.

They sharpen their words like blades in the night,

But it’s the scapegoat’s blood that’s bathed in their spite.

A sacrifice, bound and spun on the flame —

Laughed at, discarded, yet burdened with blame.

They drink and they feast as I burn in their view —

A ritual of torment, the role I outgrew.

But still, I’m served up on a platter of shame —

My suffering their comfort, my pain their game.

"Choose life," they sneer, "But live it our way."

Or bow to the devil, let morals decay.

But I’d rather be pierced by a thousand cruel lies —

Than live in a world where the righteous disguise.

Because freedom’s no gift from the hands of the damned —

It’s claimed by the broken who dare make a stand.

And if I must fall for the truth to survive —

Then let it be known, I lived — truly alive.

No martyr, no savior, no saint in disguise —

Just a soul who refused to be swallowed by lies.

So strike if you must — but remember this cry —

The scapegoat you slaughter will rise from the sky.

#scapegoatsurvivor #healingjourne #healingjourney #survivorpoetry #emotionalhealin g #frompaintopower #soulhealing #TraumaRecovery #poeticexpressio n#MentalHealthAwareness #strengthenwithin #healingthroughword #ReclaimYourPower #boundariesmatter #EmotionalFreedom #healingispossible #youarenotalone

Here's a beginning list of secular or non-religious resources:

secularrecovery.online

www.worldwidesecularmeetings.com/meetings

www.lifering.org

lifering.org/mindfulness-based-stress-reduction

lifering.org/recover-mindfully

aaagnostica.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/A-Collection-of-A...

kemper.us/lifering/sobrietycalculator.html

Books:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Alcohol Explained by William Porter

Empowering Your Sober Self by Martin Nicolaus

The Twelve Steps for Agnostics by Andy F

Waiting by Marya Hornbacher

Humanly Possible from LifeRing Secular Recovery

Twelve Secular Steps by Bill W.

From Junkie to Judge: One Woman's Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction by

Mary Beth O'Connor

The Little Book: A Collection of Alternative 12 Steps by Roger C.

#sober #Sobriety #TraumaRecovery #MBSR #Recovery #soberfellowship #sobercommunity

Struggling alot today.

Its 2:40pm and im still in bed.

Is sleeping all day an option?

#Anxiety #MajorDepressiveDisorder #OCD #PTSD #CPTSD #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorder #TraumaRecovery #Agoraphobia