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I don’t want to live but don’t want to die either #AnkylosingSpondylitis #ChronicPain #Suffer

I am sure that others have felt this way and don’t worry I could never bring myself to actual end my live. I would like to know what others do when they feel this way. I have a few things that help including a few poems from the site that have always helped from torturedsoul and Michelle Austin but sometimes that is no help either. What do we all do to get thru it. I am so tired of pain. I am just sick of it and don’t want to deal with it anymore. If you have ideas I am open for suggestions. Again don’t take me wrong as I have no desire to end my life but sometimes I have to think that I would rather just die and be done with this pain. Sorry to add such a downer of a post but I need to know what has helped others so I have more ideas.

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#Cat in the #NewYear

Here's placing my commitment to engaging in positive thoughts that will work positive energy that will materialize my wish/prayer that this year, & many following, will be MUCH MUCH BETTER than 2022 was to/for me.

And I #Hope & #Pray that 2023 bring MUCH #Joy , #peace , & #relief to #all of us that #Suffer from #devastating effects of #ChronicIllness , especially those of us whom are asked to #endure #ChronicPain , especially those of us, that suffer continuous non-stop pain, especially those of us who's entire body is afflicted, for I do know that #Pain does kinda cancel out/prevent us from any/all pleasurable #Emotions . At least, personally speaking, I'm always miserable, & since I lost my cat a little past last New Year (of 2022),, so went my smile, & any & every semblance of the person I was. The person I liked being. Please, #god , give me a sweet cat soon. Very soon, I'd really #hate to #Lose hope again. So please don't hold back on my #blessing of a cat too long. I need #help & #relief . Please don't make it all disappear into the #dark #pit I've lived in. For all too too long. #please bring me #light & #Hope to see this to its fruition. I need to bring home a Cat. Know that. You do. , I ask,in #Jesus ' name. Thanks for reading my post, all you caring & supportive #mightyfriends 🙋💗🍬 #MightyTogether #peace

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The emotional pain of families disinterest.

I find it deeply sad and soul destroying, that if I mention what I’m struggling with to my loved ones, the answer seems #yesweknow when wanting to share the rapid intensification of #symptoms of either #Bipolar or #BPD or #Depression etc…

Please remember friends, find your tribe. The people who #Suffer and live with what you do. This is where the #Understanding and #Kindness you’re seeking will be found.
I don’t believe anyone, no matter how much they love you, can even get a tiny glimpse of your #emotionalpain .
Don’t blame,, find others who feel and understand and have similar #mentalillnesses .
I hope this little nugget helps you in your #journey back to you.
Bipolarlinedeb ♥️🌹🌹


A Voice for the Voiceless

I wrote this a little while ago. I don't know where it came from or why, the words just came so I posted it on my Instagram because I knew it was not intended for me.

Feelings can betray
Thoughts can deceive
Pain can distort both

Take a moment to pause. Breathe. Try to quiet your emotions & slow your thoughts. Sounds easy doesn't it?
Now try & do that in a pitch black room with 1000 televisions on that you can't see & they're all on different channels & somewhere in there is your emotions playing Ring a Ring a Rosie with every Demon, bad memory & fear you've ever had.
Doesn't sound so easy now does it? Let that sink in for a moment.

Sound horrible? Exhausting? Torturous even?
This is what can happen sometimes the very moment your eyes open, or in the middle of a conversation with someone, driving down the fwy or 3am in the morning, laying there broken & exhausted with no relief from sleep insight.

I'm not posting this for your sympathy, your pity or to trigger a feeling in you to want to donate a couple of bucks to some Mental Health Awareness charity.
I'm posting this not for you. Or you, or even you...
I'm posting this for YOU! Yep you 👋. Standing slightly off to the side, hands in your pockets so no-one notices your fidgeting. Head dipped down to try avoiding anyone making eye contact. HI! Guess what, you're not insane. You're not some freak & you're NOT worthless. I may not know your struggle, don't need to. Truth is, nobody can really know someone else's struggle, but that's ok. I know that feeling. It sucks and it shouldn't be one you have. But I'm not going to BS and give you the "it'll all be ok" line while sitting on a rainbow with unicorns & lollipops.
It's tough & it won't be easy. There's a good chance it's never going away either. You're going to fight each day & you're going to feel tired most of the time. I have & still do, live it myself. I see it in the eyes of those I love & those close to me. But just like me, just like them, you ARE worth it. You are stronger than you credit yourself for. You have a strength people don't & won't ever see. Some days you won't be so strong. You're going to have to bluff it. That's ok, we all do.
What I need you to do though is not give up. I know what I'm asking, but YOU ARE WORTH the fight!!!

#BipolarDisorder #ADHD #Anxiety #PTSD #Suffer #notalone


I'm doing a study. If you suffer from depression, please tell me what country you're from and how long you've had depression.

This is another question from the same study with the question from yesterday. Thanks to everyone that answered yesterday, and TIA to those who answer this question. I'm trying to see how much the country we live in affects us. Y'all are great! #Depression #Suffer #Community #Support