I wrote this a little while ago. I don't know where it came from or why, the words just came so I posted it on my Instagram because I knew it was not intended for me.
Feelings can betray
Thoughts can deceive
Pain can distort both
Take a moment to pause. Breathe. Try to quiet your emotions & slow your thoughts. Sounds easy doesn't it?
Now try & do that in a pitch black room with 1000 televisions on that you can't see & they're all on different channels & somewhere in there is your emotions playing Ring a Ring a Rosie with every Demon, bad memory & fear you've ever had.
Doesn't sound so easy now does it? Let that sink in for a moment.
Sound horrible? Exhausting? Torturous even?
This is what can happen sometimes the very moment your eyes open, or in the middle of a conversation with someone, driving down the fwy or 3am in the morning, laying there broken & exhausted with no relief from sleep insight.
I'm not posting this for your sympathy, your pity or to trigger a feeling in you to want to donate a couple of bucks to some Mental Health Awareness charity.
I'm posting this not for you. Or you, or even you...
I'm posting this for YOU! Yep you 👋. Standing slightly off to the side, hands in your pockets so no-one notices your fidgeting. Head dipped down to try avoiding anyone making eye contact. HI! Guess what, you're not insane. You're not some freak & you're NOT worthless. I may not know your struggle, don't need to. Truth is, nobody can really know someone else's struggle, but that's ok. I know that feeling. It sucks and it shouldn't be one you have. But I'm not going to BS and give you the "it'll all be ok" line while sitting on a rainbow with unicorns & lollipops.
It's tough & it won't be easy. There's a good chance it's never going away either. You're going to fight each day & you're going to feel tired most of the time. I have & still do, live it myself. I see it in the eyes of those I love & those close to me. But just like me, just like them, you ARE worth it. You are stronger than you credit yourself for. You have a strength people don't & won't ever see. Some days you won't be so strong. You're going to have to bluff it. That's ok, we all do.
What I need you to do though is not give up. I know what I'm asking, but YOU ARE WORTH the fight!!!
#BipolarDisorder #ADHD #Anxiety #PTSD #Suffer #notalone