Back Pain

My caregiver has been awful today. She's been very passive aggressive and accusatory. I'm trying to give her space to figure out her emotions.

I got sick from the protein shake. It was delicious and healthy and brutal to my tummy.

I had a really good session with my therapist today. We talked about how my caregiver has been treating me since last night. It was very intense.

But more than anything else, I'm in seriously high amounts of pain. My back pain spiked to 8. I texted her 15 minutes ago asking for a Norco but she hasn't responded. I'm contemplating going to get one on my own. But that requires moving. I'm laying here crying and my pain is awful. I hate being disabled. I miss having a job. I miss feeling useful.

I've been playing pin the tramadol on the chronic pain monster all day. I took 2 tramadol at about 9am. The pain spiked to 8 and stayed there for most of the day. Then at just before 3pm I realized I missed taking another dose but the hip pain was at 9 and I sat and cried for 20 minutes. I told my caregiver about how bad it got and she asked if I wanted to take a Norco. I said please bring me a full 7.0.0.5 and she understood just how awful it was. She put CBD cream on my back and hips. Within an hour the pain was down to 5. I can think straight and I'm not balled up in the fetal position crying. I feel much better. I think I might feel good enough to cook dinner if she lets me but yesterday she grounded me from cooking for 3 nights. I dunno. But the pesto sauce arrived 20 minutes ago. Are there's chicken in the fridge. I need her to give me the go-ahead to order GF pasta. I found some yummy looking rotini.

#ChronicPain #BackPain #Migraine #foodieadventures

Tummy hurts. Back hurts. Hips hurt. Migraine from hell. I swear to goddess I'm just a passenger on this body bus.

#Migraine #BackPain #ChronicPain

I took 2 tramadol 1 and a half hours ago and it didn't help. My hips are trash. My back is shooting pain down my left side. My tummy is upset cuz I ate about 15 minutes ago and while the ingredients are good on their own, they're a questionable combination. I've got therapy in about an hour. My caregiver and I did a page of journal prompts last night. I'll go over it with my therapist today. I'm gonna go get half of a Norco from my caregiver. It's not ideal but it's my only option right now. We're attempting to order groceries today. I just really want popcorn chicken with honey mustard. It makes me feel little. I should get some grape tomatoes. Those make me happy. I'm gonna attempt to make Mac and cheese tonight. I'm not good at boiling water. I can cook incredibly well but ask me to boil water and I'm gonna ask if I can use my electric kettle.

#ChronicPain #BackPain #MentalHealth #Depression

My hips are really bad today. My lumbar is trashed. My sciatica is flaring up. My head is pounding. My knees are crunchy. And emotionally I am a wreck. I just want to cuddle and eat French fries. I'm near crying. I really wanted to go to my last class today. I'm hungry.

#MentalHealth #ChronicPain #BackPain #noadventurestoday

I had to go outside to get a meds delivery. I have 17 steps to get to the ground floor. When I closed my door I felt fine... And then I went down the stairs. My back had so much to say about it. Usually I sit on the sidewalk waiting for my meds but it rained so everything was wet. So I had to stand for 10 minutes. Then I had to go back up the stairs. My lumbar feels like I got stabbed. I just took 2 tramadol and I'm laying down trying to relax. I'm really craving coffee but I didn't make any cold brew last night. My caregiver is busy with a big situation with her clients. She might need to go to the office.

It's gonna be a rough day.

#BackPain #ChronicPain

And my insides are angry cuz I had a bowl of rice with broccoli and Japanese BBQ sauce for lunch today. I've gotten sick twice since 10am. I think my caregiver made herself some oatmeal for dinner. She's too busy to talk so I dunno. But I am in too much pain to make myself anything for dinner. I have one hour until I can take my meds so hopefully I will feel better by 9pm so I can cook something. My headphones keep falling off my head. It's really annoying. My tummy is not behaving. I'm really hangry.

#hangry #ChronicPain #BackPain #foodiemisadventures