*My previous post was just a real-time, stream of consciousness post during a #mixedepisode .
I was diagnosed with #BipolarDisorder in 2008. Since then, I intermittently go through periods where I wonder if I really have bipolar. Maybe I was misdiagnosed. I have #CPTSD (complex PTSD) as well, and some of the symptoms mimic #Bipolar .. But something always happens that snaps me back to reality- that I do, in fact, have bipolar disorder. I'd had a #Telehealth appt w/my #Psychiatrist that morning, and she pointed out that I seem to be in a mixed state based on her observations, and what I was telling her. She has never said that to me in the almost 2 years we've been working together. She's mainly seen me #depressed , because I have #bipolardisorder2 , so I mostly experience #Depression .
I'd wanted to talk about what I've been experiencing on here, but just couldn't find the words. I've actually been trying for weeks to write a post. So yesterday, I decided after like 12 hours of fruitlessly trying to figure out what to say, that I was just going to do a real-time stream of consciousness post.
I've gotten to where I've accepted this diagnosis, most of the time. However, it's hard to deny it while in the throws of your thoughts turning into nonsensical scrambled eggs, and (sometimes) in a small corner of your mind being aware that your thoughts might not be logical, but not being able to stop it. ❤️