As a coach, I like to look at things from many perspectives. I’ve never found the Freudian approach logical. And though everyone on this planet experiences trauma, only a small percentage of people develop illness because of it and some of us develop illnesses even though we have not experienced severe trauma. I have been reading “The Courage to be Disliked”, and it affirms what I have been investigated and instigating in my own life, that I choose to manifest symptoms of my illness to meet a goal/need. I choose my illness.
It sounds kind of ridiculous at first. Surely no one wants to choose to be ill, right? No one chooses Bipolar? But from my own experience, I know that I can control or exacerbate an episode of depression, mania, anxiety, or even psychosis. So maybe I am choosing my illness when I become unwell.
But why on earth would I choose to be unwell if I could just choose to be well? Everything I do, every action I take is to meet my needs as a human being. Needs for approval, security and control. Or under Human Needs Psychology, needs for Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love and Connection, Growth, and Contribution. By choosing illness, we know there is certainty, certainty in knowing people will be helping us, that we may receive a disability payment, the pattern of going to the GP/psychologist/psychiatrist/peer worker. We get significance from being the one with the serious illness, the one who doesn’t leave the house, the one that is flamboyant and wonderful. We gain love and connection if a lived one chooses to sacrifice part of their life and assume a role as our carer. These things are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to why we might choose illness over wellness when illness is playing out pretty damn well and filling our needs in a maladaptive way.
But in reality, why we think all this is happen is irrelevant. We can choose, right here and now, in this present moment, to be well. We can walk away from the endless discussions about past injuries and just get on with it. Be brave. Have courage. I know some people reading this will dislike this, and that is fine. But I know my truth. My truth tells me the past is past and if I have courage, I can move forward bravely into a world of my own creation and manifestation. That is what I choose for myself everyday. #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Coaching #HumanNeedsPsychology #TheCourageToBeDisliked #Adler #Choice #ItIsMyChoice