Dialectical Behavior Therapy

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    Stupid little crisis plan

    Today my therapist and I created a shared google doc and began outlining a crisis plan starting by identifying where my baseline is and working up in distress from there. But like, I kind of don’t want to use it… Using it takes effort and a general desire for my well-being. And I don’t really think I’m worth that effort anymore. As long as I just make it through the semester without totally failing my classes, why does it matter how I coped to make it through? It’s stupid but I’m mad about the crisis plan, I don’t want one, I don’t want to fight myself anymore. I’m too done to care. Sure, no one can make me use it. But I feel like I have to because 1) if I continue not to my therapist might have me hospitalized and that’s not happening 2) if my brother or other family members found out I’ve turned back to selfharm it would really stress them out and I don’t want to be a burden to them. So now I have a crisis plan, and a promise that I will try my best to use it and thereby prevent or at least significantly reduce any future relapses. But honestly I’ve lost sight of what the big deal is, I’m not trying to kill myself. Isn’t that enough?

    #Selfharm #CrisisPlan #MentalHealth #CollegeMentalHealth #Therapy #DBT #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #Anxiety #Depression

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    What should I do? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy

    Hi everyone,
    I have borderline (bpd) and I’ve been doing some serious work but I only meet with my therapist once every 2 weeks. I’m on my own.
    I have brought up memories of things my mother did to me when I was growing up. I blocked them, probably because I have needed her in my life codependantly. We’ve been close. She’s the first one I called when I was diagnosed with cancer.
    I don’t want to talk to her right now, maybe never again. But I’m aware of my black and white thinking and dialectics.
    I was just about to block her cell number when I decided to reach
    I’m alone with my crazy head. I don’t have any friends to talk to ( I don’t do relationships) so this is the best option.
    Does anyone know what I should do? I am open to anything and I would appreciate it so much.

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    Therapy Thursdays

    I have heard people give up on therapy after one "bad experience". My response to that is to not give up. Sometimes, a therapist and a patient just aren't a good fit for each other. And that's ok. The therapist/patient relationship is unique, personal, and emotionally intimate. Therapists and patients have different personalities, preferences, and styles. If this is you or someone you know- I encourage you today to try again.

    #therapythursday #EndTheStigma #Therapy #Trauma #Grief #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #ArtTherapy #Biofeedback #Coaching #playtherapy #Parenting #Depression #Anxiety #Healing #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #psychodynamictherapy #FamilyAndFriends #BingeEatingDisorder #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Mania #Bipolar1Disorder

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    Let's talk about therapy. Ending the stigma by having the conversation.

    Therapy can look different to different people. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Prayer. Coffee with friends. Texting. Being on the Mighty. Talk Space. Meeting with a religious leader. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. ElectroConvulsive Therapy. Holistic Therapy. Group therapy. Journaling. Meditation. Float Therapy. Walking in nature. Having a pet.

    The right one is the one that works for you.

    This is mainly a reminder that all types of therapy are ok. If you are comfortable: share your favorite, what works for you, why you like it.

    I did Talk Space for a while a few years ago. I really liked that I could text my therapist in my moment of high emotions. I could get it all out before forgetting anything. That in itself was healing but so was the conversation after. I could work on it in my time, not having to wait a week or 2 after the triggering event. It was like journaling with feedback.

    #Depression  #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy  #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy  #ElectroconvulsiveTherapy  #TherapyAnimal  #Agoraphobia  #Talkspace  #Addiction  #floattherapy  #emdr  #Nature  #Meditation  #Prayer  #Friends  #EndTheStigma  #BipolarDisorder  #BPDDiagnosis  #Journal  #Anxiety  #Trauma  #Grief  #MentalHealth  #Nature

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    Done with DBT groups #CheckInWithMe

    I decided to leave the DBT group I signed up for a few weeks ago. And for weeks it’s started later than it should and a few participants were very triggering and annoying. It’s hard when you’re doing it via Zoom because of the technical issues and not everyone can hear each other. I was sick of how unorganized it was so now I’ve decided to find a therapist who can help me re-learn the skills again in person and without the aggravation.

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy

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    Long, difficult weekend

    On Saturday, I had a psychiatrist appointment over the phone. I spent the entire morning preparing, making sure I was physically taken care of, mentally and emotionally calm, using my breathing techniques, and had all my notes and safety objects around me. He called, assessed me, and it was over. He concluded that I "don't have a psychiatric disorder", which I think is an oversimplification but it is the answer I was looking for. I need my medical charts to focus on my yet-to-be-diagnosed physical health symptoms, not the already-managed mental health symptoms, and this is a great first step towards that.
    [In reality, I experience symptoms of #CPTSD every day, but due to effective practicing of skills, the psych assessed that this no longer causes me significant dysfunctioning, and therefore he considered me clinically well.]
    The emotional aftermath of this appointment was incredibly messy, with initial intense excitement, followed by paranoia about being "found out" (for what I'm not clear on), followed by an extreme exhaustion. I had trouble falling asleep, experiencing panic while lying in bed, as I often have in the past.

    Then yesterday I saw my mom. It was another emotionally draining experience. I have to practice deep listening and loving speech so carefully, and use meditative thought to protect myself from emotion or concepts that have the potential to cause me harm. It is better, both in the moment and in the end, than the alternative, but exhausting work nonetheless. I woke up twice in the night with racing heartbeat and panic feelings.

    I have also started cutting back on my medication recently. Although I've experienced a lot, I believe my increased difficulty at night has more to do with the dosage change. I have a lot of trouble at night during the winter, when the daylight is so scarce, so I have tools I can use when I'm not sleeping well. I can ask my roommates to bunk with me, use aromatherapy, set a bedtime routine, and I have a bedtime medication I use sparingly. If I'm up in the middle of the night, I can meditate, read, play or watch one of my safety games or shows, come on The Mighty, and I can get my roommates if I need help calming down. All that being said, I'm hoping my nights improve as my mindbody adjusts to the lower dose of meds and I continue to practice my skills.

    #Meditation #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #5MindfulnessTrainings #Selfcare #CommunityCare

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    #Splitting in romantic relationships… what is your experience? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    I used to think that I only split because I was in not a great partnership and frankly my ex was a jerk.
    Recently, in my current relationship I’ve been splitting. We have an open and transparent relationship… yet I can feel myself splitting. It’s nothing personal, but it’s happening and it’s alarming.
    My previous relationship was tumultuous at best. My current relationship healthy and loving. I have been conditioned for negative responses. Especially responses that might make me vulnerable or feel old feels that are unsafe feelings.
    The other day I felt helpless. I couldn’t identity the feeling until last night. I tried to recall the conversation and realized I had blocked most of it out, and couldn’t recall for the life of me.
    Days earlier feeling nothing but love, compassion and admiration for my partner. The Idolizations and devaluations make me feel embarrassed, less than and stupid. To the world around me… I look insane. Inside, I usually don’t know it happening. I have gotten a lot better at identifying when I split.

    The biggest struggle is feelings of shame afterwards. I do not want to think this way… dialectical thinking isn’t my strongest.
    I understand why I would split in my past relationship (it served its purpose to protect me) However, it harming me now.
    When I become aware of it… I am beyond judgy to my judging evaluations. And frankly, I can’t even recall the conversation to be able to discuss the conversation later with my partner… embarrassment for the way I think and then the way I CAN’T remember. Splitting almost always leads me to teetering disassociation. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Splitting #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #BPD