codependent

How can I process that after 15 years? He apologized on his own, I didn’t ask for it or guilt him. I was stunned and acknowledged his apology…but how do I deal with this? I used to want him to beg me on his knees to forgive him. He wasn’t that dramatic when it happened, but still said Sorry. Words without action are just air #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

I have “secret” debt that my husband doesn’t know about. It’s just a couple thousand dollars, amounts that I can pay off myself in time. However he’s so excited to payoff our debt in the next month, in its entirety….but that’s just the expenses he knows about. He found out today what his spring bonus will be and he’s so excited that we can finally start saving for a down payment on a house. And I feel like garbage. My lies (if not outright, then implied or withheld truth) really crushed me emotionally. I realized by not being honest I’m making him a fool, right? It’s been months of me hiding the truth…and it’s not the first or even the second time I’ve withheld my true financial obligations. The thing is I could pay my stuff off if he didn’t expect me to put 75% of my paychecks towards “his” debt first. Next week we’ll be paying off my big credit card and as far as he knows…that’s it for “our” debt. Still, given all the “husband” qualities and duties he’s failed to fulfill, he doesn’t deserve to be lied to. Money and finances are top priority for him. And I’ve betrayed him…again.

Tomorrow will be 15 years married to my husband. 15 years most of which has been filled disconnection, loneliness, isolation, confusion, disappointment, grief, self hatred, which led to depression, anxiety, insomnia, self harm, various addictions, some hospital stays and therapy and medications. My husband is emotionally unavailable and has refused to get more help than a very low dose of an antidepressant. He’s the “strong silent type” and since I’m a codependent and had recently moved to the area we were drawn to each other — in the most dysfunctional way. In all fairness, we tried couples counseling a few times but he didn’t stick with it because “we know what to do, we just need to do it”. And I acknowledge and accept that I’m not a victim here, I have contributed to our fractured relationship. Especially when I was dealing with self harm and addictions. Thankfully my family has been my strength and foundation, and now I’m at a point where I’m quietly resigned to just be a good woman fulfilling the vow I made before God. I know my husband has been faithful, as I have, and the only programs and YouTube videos he watches are How-To, aviation films, cooking shows, documentaries and similar stuff. He’s never raised his voice or has been a physical threat. We don’t have kids…with his undiagnosed male condition that he won’t get help for, it would be a miracle of Bible proportions. I know that I have a better life than others in my situation. I have my own room, vehicle, friends, job and income. And now looking back over 1 1/2 decades of whatever this pseudo-marriage has become, I weep all over again on what I, we, have lost. I’m not furious anymore, it took a long time to diffuse it. And now I have more peace and my own kind of happiness.

Hi 👋 I’m KelzZ and I’m new on here. I know a little bit about The Mighty..I read many different articles I receive from here in my email daily. Definitely seems a very safe, positive all around good vibe community. I’m on here because I want to better myself which seems impossible and no light at the end of the tunnel. I suffer daily and most of the time it’s beyond to much to bare and I’m sick and tired of just exiting and not living. I hope I can learn how to better myself with all the positivity, knowledge and kindness from here. Wish anyone and everyone a good day and good vibes! 😎 #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Bipolar #Anxiety #Grief #PTSD #IBS #Asthma #sad #codependent * Our problems do NOT define us..I stay reminding myself of this, give it a shot, it may help even just a little.

I’ve noticed that my last few sessions with my counselor that she’s just listening and then commending me for my ‘progress’. It doesn’t even seem like talk therapy anymore. She’s has been a huge help in my journey, but now I think I need more than just Talk. I need assignments, practice sessions for communicating with others, goals to help set good habits, someone to gently push me past my comfort zones, etc. So how do I “break up” with my counselor in a kind and respectful way? I don’t know how to do this. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #INFJ #codependent #Selfharm #AlcoholAbuse #Anxiety

Tomorrow is Easter. I love it so much but I struggle at the same time. My depression has been worse for the past week or so. I know it's because of the expectations of me at Easter as I visit with my mom, brothers, nephews, and my brother's girlfriend. I have an eating disorder and I have had some success with it by following a specific food plan. My family does not support me not eating junk food, drinking, etc. They feel it is the holiday and I need to let loose. I know this is not something I can do. When I let loose my depression and eating disorder become unmanageable. I told them I'm bringing my own food. So I'm anxious about tomorrow to say the least.#Depression #eating disorders #Anxiety #codependent

I was raised by a narcissist mother with bpd and I think I have bpd tendencies now, along with codependency and c-ptsd (diagnosed).

I left home at 19 after being catfished by another narcissist before catfishing was even a term. It was 1999, and she had me in a relationship with a man I never met, relying solely on her for communication with him (via her ... astrally). She was extremely convincing. But I digress.

I skipped town and landed in the lap of another (worse) NPD -- married him, had a child with him, and barely escaped with my life 20 years later. He told me he'd kill himself if I left and a myriad of other threats which led to a suicide attempt on my part and eventually I left him while he was at work.

I'm now happily divorced, 41, living with my NPD BPD mother, codependent father, NPD BPD possibly bipolar (she isn't diagnosed because she lies too much and sells her medication) sister.

I'm moving in with my SO in another month or so and I share custody of my daughter, who is 8, and gets to decide with whom she wants to stay when she is 12.

My question is, after reading extensively on narcissism and BPD, how does one even begin to heal from this? How do I trust ANYone now, aside from my SO, with whom I've shared so much? I honestly don't know that I even feel anything for my mother or sister now that I know what true narcissism means, now that I see I'm so broken because of my childhood, and how hard it will be for me to begin to grow toward some sense of "normalcy."

So many jobs. So many relationships. So many misunderstandings ... and I still don't fully understand social concepts that come to other people as easily as breathing. And the worst part? Knowing that I might unknowingly be passing it on to my daughter... it devastates me. That is one of the only things left that pulls tears from my eyes. Eyes that used to cry endlessly for other people, people who used to scorn me, because they didn't understand why I cared SO much. Well, now I know, it was because my family cared so little for me.
What the hell do I do with that? #narcissist #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #npd #narcissistpersonalitydisorder #Depression #codependent

I recently got out of the hospital for #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation . I had an eleven day stay. I just got home last Wednesday. I learned a lot about boundaries and communicating my feelings and needs. I got my medication changed a bit. I left feeling so much better...stronger.

I set up boundaries with my toxic friend, only for him to steal from me. He gave me back my car keys and key to my apartment. But during his last visit he stole them back and then took my vehicle. He brought it back thankfully. I got all my keys back and am getting my locks changed. The relationship is Over...I finally had enough...enough of the abuse and enough strength to put an end to it.

I feel sad, hurt, angry, betrayed. I feel sad because I do love him and want good for him. But I know in order for me to stay emotionally well, it has to be over. I will greive my loss. The loss of companionship, the loss of who I used to be before we ever met, the many years of my life lost because I was too #codependent and anxious to leave it.

I'm grateful though to get back to living life without #verbalabuse #EmotionalAbuse . I'm learning I'm stronger and more courageous than I ever knew.

#toxicrelationship #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety

My ex husband of 28 years is a narcissist and just got engaged. I’m terrified I’m nothing without his abusive motivation pushing me to achieve. Please help I’ve tried with some support to do more than go to work and come home daily and I can’t break this ruminating obsession. I feel like I’m nothing without being impressive and I just can’t see the point of continuing living.