electroconvulsive therapy

There’s a giant hole in mental healthcare. We all know that, there’s many. There are holes when you go for treatment but get no follow up care. When you need your meds but can’t get them for whatever reason, pharmacy/doctor miscommunication, #Insurance is always an issue.

I’m stuck.

I’m stuck in a hole but it’s not like the typical ones.

You don’t really know what’s going to happen when #ElectroconvulsiveTherapy is the option you’re given in the hospital. All you do know is that you aren’t able to keep yourself alive anymore without intervention. So if #ECT is the option, you have nothing else, you’ve tried everything else already. You go with it, you do what they say.

The hole I’m in is in regards to the aftercare for #ECT . I haven’t gotten any care specific to ECT or have been even able to talk about the ECT with professionals.

Every professional I talk to hasn’t dealt with people who have gone through ECT. They can’t answer any of my questions and they all give me the same look. The look of shock (ironic) that I actually was treated with ECT. The professionals also don’t have any referrals to other professionals who have dealt with ECT.

So when you notice changes, you can’t really talk about them. You say them out loud but it’s like talking into a void, no answers come back.

I can’t write the same as I used to. Writing became a coping skill only a year before I received my treatment.

It was easy. It all flowed right out of my mind, through my fingers, onto this app. It came together in my head really well before. I was beginning to love writing. I grew up thinking I was too stupid to write and have anyone care.

Then one of my stories got a good amount of peoples attentions. I was able to communicate with other people with similar stories. It felt amazing.

Now however, it is all different. It doesn’t flow like it did. I can’t think like I used to. The stories aren’t churning.

There are blanks now. I imagine just white in my brain. Before I could go through the stories and have images that helped.

It’s gone.

I’m relearning and I’m alone in it. I’m relearning and grasping at straws.

One thing I know for certain, is you don’t send an electrical current through someone’s brain causing seizures, and release them with no aftercare.

There are so many unanswered questions.

Therapy can look different to different people. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Prayer. Coffee with friends. Texting. Being on the Mighty. Talk Space. Meeting with a religious leader. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. ElectroConvulsive Therapy. Holistic Therapy. Group therapy. Journaling. Meditation. Float Therapy. Walking in nature. Having a pet.

The right one is the one that works for you.

This is mainly a reminder that all types of therapy are ok. If you are comfortable: share your favorite, what works for you, why you like it.

I did Talk Space for a while a few years ago. I really liked that I could text my therapist in my moment of high emotions. I could get it all out before forgetting anything. That in itself was healing but so was the conversation after. I could work on it in my time, not having to wait a week or 2 after the triggering event. It was like journaling with feedback.

#Depression  #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy  #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy  #ElectroconvulsiveTherapy  #TherapyAnimal  #Agoraphobia  #Talkspace  #Addiction  #floattherapy  #emdr  #Nature  #Meditation  #Prayer  #Friends  #EndTheStigma  #BipolarDisorder  #BPDDiagnosis  #Journal  #Anxiety  #Trauma  #Grief  #MentalHealth  #Nature

I’ve come a long way, from wheelchair, to walker, to cane which I only seem to need in busy or stimulating environments. I’m recovering suicidal psychosis #SuicidalOCD and #NeurologicalDisorder caused by never-treated  #LymeDisease  

Nine months before I lost control of my body, 10 months before it became difficult to speak, and 15 months before a doctor finally figured out this diagnosis—the first symptom was a horrific psychosis.

For 22 months I’d see non-stop pictures and movies of me ending my life. This was different from suicidal ideation I'd experience as a child and throughout most of my adult life, suicidal thoughts I was able to stop with years of counseling and   #EyeMovementDesensitizationAndReprocessing  

Recently, cooking has become a #Healing   hobby, as it continues to be excellent occupational therapy for restrengthing my brain, and fantastic  #ExposureTherapy  

At first I could only use a knife while my husband was watching. With exposure therapy, I've been trying to teach my brain, and teach me, that I won't hurt myself with the knife, just because I’m seeing it, and certainly not because I’m holding it. This is how I got the pictures down to 5 times a day, then down to 0-to-5 times a day.