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Almost 50, no legacy

I’ve led a life where I grew up working my butt off to be an extraordinary dancer, but being the 3rd of 3 kids nothing I did was ever really recoded. So no proof of me actually being “cool” so to speak do not exist. I married young then raised a beautiful daughter who is now 26 and a successful graduate with her masters and is a elementary teacher. I feel I did a great job as a mom….., I was firm, loving, envolved, fun, respected and mostly always there 110% to be a mom. Also I worked full time owing my own tax practice, always working around when my family/ friends needed me but made sure to give full attention to my clients and complete tasks timely. Always said yes to all things asked of me, never saying NO for anything or anyone, no matter the consequence and never expected anything in return.

About 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, clinical depression, multiple anxiety disorders, insomnia, anemia. and Rhumetoid arthritis…. and more. Point is I was always the one doing all for everyone, throwing the fun parties, always putting on the happy face, but now that I’m turning 50 and have bad days or sometimes have speech issues, memory issues, pain, extreme exhaustion, all those people I helped in the past have disappeared. I have no proof of all the good I’ve done in the world and if I was to die today and someone put together a wall of photos of my life it shows nothing. I want to leave a legacy of love and kindness. Something that shows that caring and loving unconditional is a very important thing. The world is feeling apart because we only focus on the bad, the hate and prestigious that can afford to capture their accomplishments. I just want people to know that I did matter and I did create change in the world even if you’ll never see it. #findyourself


Building #Selfesteem , ending insecurities, and taking control of #Anxiety that’s ruining my relationships

I posted about finding myself. I’ve done a little research. Evidently to find yourself you must commit to #Lovingyourself by building your #Selfesteem and stopping #insecurities . #Affirm yourself by acknowledging what you do right. Find what makes you happy like truly happy, that doesn’t involve another person. #Selfcare , have personal or “me time”, learn a new skill or hobby. Challenge negative thoughts, forgiving yourself, writing down negative thoughts then challenge them with positive thoughts. Spend time with people that love you seeing yourself through the eyes of those who care about you because that will help you appreciate your own unique qualities. Stay away from negative people and bad situations, surround yourself with positive people and healthy situations. Reflect on the good by celebrating ALL successes, no matter how small. Start an appreciation list, every day write three things you #appreciate about yourself (like a gratitude journal, but for appreciating yourself). Find things that bring you and only you #Joy . Prioritize alone free time. Do what makes you happy, in all aspects of life. Learn a new skill or hobby you are passionate about. Talk with a therapist. And lastly, focus on baby steps! Finding yourself will not happen overnight! Baby steps grow into bigger steps and keep you moving forward! #loveyourself #findyourself


I think I’ve become a little bit wise...

I’ve been single for just over four years now. Admittedly, to start with, I was very lonely and I craved love and affection. But with time I’ve come to know myself in a way that I don’t think I ever would have discovered if I’d gotten into another relationship.

I realised that I’m actually a lesbian and that it’s okay. That you don’t have to have been in a relationship with a woman to know this. I know who I am.

I’ve learned how to better control my temper and how to think optimistically.

And most importantly I’ve learned to love myself. But not DESPITE my flaws. But because of them. I am perfect in my imperfections, just as we all are.

After four years I’ve finally reached a place where I’m okay with being single. I don’t need to be with another human being to ‘complete’ me. Sure, having a lady to call mine and have endless cuddles with would be lovely. But it doesn’t feel like a necessity anymore.

I feel like I’ve grown so much in these years.

Remember - it’s okay to take time to get to know yourself. I know that society thinks you should be married and have children by a certain age but it’s rubbish. Be who you want to be and don’t conform to their schedule!

Love yourselves!

#chronicillnesswarrior #POTS #EDS #BPD #NAFLD #InterstitialCystitis #Diabetes #SleepApnea #Migraines #Selflove #Selfworth #behappy #loveyourself #findyourself #ItsOK

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Beauty Out of Ashes

Defining Moments
Many of us that struggle with trauma can pin-point the defining moment in our life when "everything changed". For some it's been hours, for others it's been years, and still for others its been decades.
These ashes of trauma filter through our brain and keep us locked on that "defining moment". Stopping us from ever truly enjoying life again. But there can be some beauty out of these ashes if we choose to let them.
Most of us go about this trauma the wrong way. We either hide, ignore, run, or we put it on a pedestal blaming all of our actions on it. Either way is unhealthy.
I've found through my own experience, and now trauma coaching, is that we can heal from this trauma, as we face it, change our perspective of it, learn from it, and recognize that we can find the some beauty from it.
If you struggle with trauma I'd encourage you to get some help to work through it. If i can be that help please reach out. Link is in the bio
#selfloveclub #selflovematters #youareenough #gratitudejournal #Selfcompassion #Selfimage #radicalselflove #selflovejourney #Selfacceptance #MentalHealthAwareness #selflover #confidencequotes #MentalHealth #Care #gratitudeattitude #Gratitude #findyourself #Selfworth #selfcaretips #StrongerTogether #selflovery #Selflove #selflovequotes #selfcareroutine #dailycalm #nourishyoursoul #selfcare #selfcarecoach

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lost and found

At one point in time, I was lost. So lost that I broke into pieces, nowhere to be found. But over time with support, strength, and conviction, I regained myself. Though the struggle took away important years of my life, I am happy I have found the true "me".
I wish from the bottom of my heart that you guys find the real "you". Don't let the disorder melt away the persona you have or had  #findyourself   #strengthinvulnerability