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So I quit my job

My doctor approved a 2 month medical leave for me, starting March 15. It has been a journey with a lot of feelings of guilt and shame along the way. On May 1, I went to meet with my boss to talk about returning to work that week with the necessity of having a written job description (which I had never had). She said she wasn't expecting me back until May 15 and that she couldn't provide a job description for me until May 12.

I had been thinking about leaving my job since January, but this was the final straw for me. I felt so devalued and shamed by her words and decision, even though I know she didn't mean it that way based on our past relationship and communication. So, I sent her an email yesterday giving my reasons and expressing my choice to resign.

I have felt trapped in this job - trapped into accepting the promotion in the first place, trapped in the everyday tasks of the job, trapped into staying in the job, and even trapped in poor mental health because of the job. This is one of the big challenges of navigating poor mental health and work - I tend to become very passive and let things happen to me rather than actively making decisions or choosing what I want/need. And then I get into a destructive cycle.

I chose to work for this company because I thought it was a manageable role, but it didn't work out that way. It makes it hard to feel optimistic about future job options when this carefully chosen job didn't work out. My therapist is telling me things aren't as hopeless as I feel, but it is difficult when I see this history of the past ten years of becoming increasingly less capable of keeping up with work duties and having to continually accept less and less responsibilities in order to cope with life.

I don't know what I am going to do, but there are a lot of minimum wage jobs open right now, so I'll probably do something in the service industry for now. I really don't want to stay in this city, so quitting my job also cuts the major tie that I have to this place. My anxiety has been super high all day and it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest.

#CheckInWithMe #Job #Work #Career #MedicalLeave #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #future #movingon

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Feeling guilty - medical leave

My medical leave from work (mental health reasons) started yesterday. In my office, I have been the second in command, but work side by side with my boss every day. I know that she has also been so stressed about the situations at work that led to my taking leave.
I feel guilty that I am leaving her to deal with everything alone, and that makes me feel like I don't deserve to care for myself during my time off. I have so much shame as well that I wasn't good enough or well enough or strong enough to cope with my job.
I am worried all these negative emotions are going to take over my time off so that I won't have a benefit from it.

#MedicalLeave #Guilt #Shame #Selfcare #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #Work #CheckInWithMe

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I just got approved for a medical leave from work

I recently started working with a career counselor and her number one recommendation to me was to take a medical leave from work. I have always been a reliable and committed employee and this has been a difficult concept to wrap my mind around. The problem is, by being reliable and committed to work I have absolutely nothing left over for me and my personal life has become a black hole.

I was so so so anxious about speaking with my doctor about this. I have actually been unofficially boycotting him since last fall (he didn't know that) mainly because I just don't feel heard by him. He also doesn't seem properly equipped to deal with mental health concerns, and in particular completely ignores comments about feeling suicidal.

But I did it. I booked an appointment with him, I said what I had to say, and I even asked follow up questions (not that he was very helpful with those). He didn't argue or push back, but agreed very easily, which was a surprise. I asked for one month, and he wrote a letter asking for two months.

I have to tell my boss now and I am so anxious about it. I know this is going to devastate and crush her, especially with the particular projects going on at work right now, but I can't keep destroying myself in order to not destroy her. (I am second in command in our office, so we work together extremely closely.) The leave starts tomorrow, so I have to go in today and wrap things up.

I have never done anything like this before, but it has been a long, slow decline for the past decade and I have reached a very low point. I don't like the idea of being on a list somewhere as having taken time off for health reasons because I feel like that will be a black mark against me for future employers, even though they are legally not allowed to discriminate against me for this. I feel simultaneously like a failure and like I have been set free. It's going to be a big adjustment.

#CheckInWithMe #MedicalLeave #Work #Employment #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #Undiagnosed #change

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Back to work again + #MedicalLeave ?

I've been sick for the past ten days (sinus infection) and took all of last week off work. Now I have to go back tomorrow and my anxiety is quite high. My whole body is aching and sore and I have a headache. It's like my body is saying, "Noooooo!"
I know that everything will be significantly behind and piled up because even before I got sick, my boss was away so I was covering both our positions. I feel so stressed just thinking about it.
I had my first session with my new career counselor today. She very quickly recognized significant symptoms of burn out and her recommendation is to get a doctor's note for a medical leave of at least a month in length. I have already been thinking about quitting my job, so this throws another option into the mix.
Since the beginning of the year, I took one week off for vacation and now two weeks off (the other was in January) for illness. That means I have worked for 5 weeks out of 8 weeks in 2023. And I'm so exhausted! I need to make a plan for leaving this job as soon as possible.

#Anxiety #Depression #Burnout #MentalHealth #Job #Work #Career #Counseling #MedicalLeave #Quit #tired

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#MedicalLeave after Returning to Work #BipolarDisorder

I thought that I was a long stronger than this. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck between feeling good for a short amount of time, and then suddenly I am not feeling good. I do not know why this happens. I know it's about the Bipolar Disorder mental illness that I have, but I just cannot understand why with medicine I cannot find true stability. I still have syptoms, though they're less severe.

I am worried about my job. I was on Medical Leave (plus 3 weeks of personal leave) and then was to return to work in March, then Covid-19 precautions took place and Universal Studios Orlando closed their doors to guests. This means, I had all the rest of March, and Aprill and May off from work. I returned just this past Tuesday, and I was having such a good time. What happened?!

I woke up, got dressed, went to work and as soon as I got to the parking garage I shut down. I started to cry and I could not seem to control my emotions. I felt this bitter fear in my chest, "I do not want to lose my job," kind of fear, mixed with "What the heck am I crying for?" and thinking "What triggered me that I would start crying as soon as I got to work? Was it the traffic? What is it?" I am completely aware that with Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety Disorder/Panic Disorder can hold hands tightly together. I called my husband, and he came to my car where I was parked in the employee parking garage. Luckily he works 3rd shift and was just leaving when I was arriving and this happened.

I cried my eyes out, had a Mild panic attack, caught myself doing breathing exercises to slow it down. While I waited for my husband to come to my car, I was on the phone with the Doctor's office. My Psychiatrist told me that I needed to take my Klonopin medicine to calm the nerves, and go home and get some rest.

I was told that I needed a medicine increase in my Prozac. I was promptly placed on medical leave, so that I could attend outpatient care once more. This means 3x a week outpatient therapy group, 1x a week to see my personal therapist, and 1x a week to see my Psychiatrist, or else every 2 weeks to see the Psychiatrist, depending on how I am doing.

So.......
1.) I am scared of losing my job, because their points system did not renew itself while I was away on medical leave... so my attendance points are still low.

2.) I am worried abut the fact that I am getting paid les than I was when I was away from work due to Covid-19. My short term disability insurance is what will cover me now.

3.) I am worried about my integrity as a reliable employee. How can I view myself as reliable when my mental health is unreliable? There is no telling when or where I will have an episodic attack, or a severe mood swing. I have some signs, such as being on a high "up" since Monday June 1st, and then by today I hit hard, but how can I tell how many days until the "crash?"

Thank you for listening. If you made it this far. Thank You.

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What to do when you can’t move

I’ve just started a short term leave from work for a depressive episode that started around August. It’s been slowly getting worse until, about a week before Christmas my whole body was vibrating and I would jump three feet in the air if someone sneezed too loud because I was so hypersensitive. There was no way I could continue working so my boss and I agreed that I would take an extended leave over the holidays.

I’ve lived with undiagnosed high sensitivity/depression for most of my life, but was always very high functioning so people just said I was “high strung.” I learned not to listen to the warning signs and just kept pushing through. I am now 40 years old and I’m the middle of an episode of whatever mental health cocktail I have and I cannot think my way out of a paper bag, and I don’t know how to spend my days.

I feel like there is something I should be doing to make myself feel better but the days just kind of slip by...and I may have done one or two things around the house but I barely remember. In my mind I have ideas for things I’d like to be doing but my current reality is that it’s hard to remember to brush my teeth. I’m worried a month will roll around and I will still be staring at the ceiling unable to move, imagining the things I could do if I had the energy.

Does anyone have experience with taking leave for a depressive episode? What are some healthy ways to pass the time when you find it tiring to walk from your bed to the couch?

#Depression #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #HighlysensitivePerson #boredom #MedicalLeave #motivationneeded #CheckInWithMe

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Burnout When You're Not Working

Burnout is a very real experience. Something I've had to learn is that it isn't just reserved for folks who are working. When you're disabled and dealing with multiple chronic conditions, you get burnt out easily as it consumes every single day of your life. Your full time job becomes going for medical tests and doctors appointments and treatments every single day. It doesn't take long for it to happen either. At one point I was feeling this sensation, but I couldn't understand what it was. I knew it felt like burnout but I'm not able to work so it was very confusing. I asked my doctor about it and he said that's exactly what it is. He explained to me how common and normal it is for people like me to suffer burnout. I ended up spacing appointments out even more to one a week at the most now because of how much they actually take out of me to go to. I was ending up canceling all my apointments, just not being able to go and endure explaining the same things over and over and over again without the reality of any sort of helpful treatment or diagnostic labeling. It wreaks havoc and can really make it hard to do what you need to, but my docs advice is what helped and helps me get through it when I have it. Don't resist it. It makes it worse. Embrace it and work with it. If you need to cancel all your appointments for a week straight or two, do it. Take a Staycation and allow yourself to have some much deserved you time. It's a reason he pushes for employers to offer much more paid time off as well because we all need this. There's no reason in a modern world that we are so against burnout like we are. But systematically we are almost not allowed to work with it or even acknowledge it without being labeled as lazy, not a hard worker, or some other less than label. That mentality in the working world falls over into the world of those who are unable to work due to chronic illnesses. So, if you're feeling like it might be burnout, talk to your doctor and develop a plan together to head it off. You too can have burnout whether or not you are able to work. You're not alone. #Burnout #Disability #ChronicIllness #Work #unabletowork #ComplexUnspecifiedNeuromuscularDisease #Fibromyalgia #Undiagnosed #Doctors #MedicalLeave #CPTSD #Depression #MentalHealth

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Medical leave

I'm on the second #MedicalLeave from my job as a public middle school teacher in the past two years. Last year it took me 3 months to recover from my #Dysphoria , now I have been fighting #Depression for the last 4 months and I've been keeping working despite my psychiatrist's advice... Now it has finally been too hard to handle and I feel like a failure. Will this disease never let me work, function, be a useful member of society? #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #bps

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Has anyone taken a leave of absence or used FMLA to deal with their Fibromyalgia flare symptoms? #Fibromyalgia #timeOff #MedicalLeave #Stress #takingcareofmyself

I’m dealing with the loss of my mother after a long and painful illness as well as a lot of family and work stress. I’m burned out and having the worst flare I’ve ever had. I’d love to hear from folks who’ve taken time off to take care of themselves.

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Show of hands, how many times has someone compared a medical leave/a termination/an involuntary decision to quit a job as a vacation?

Since falling ill I've been place on medical leave and terminated due to my symptoms. I've had many people try to "liven" up the situation by saying "try to treat it as a vacation and enjoy the time home". I wish they only knew... #ChronicIllness #MedicalLeave #Vacation #FND

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