At the foothills, torn from a fostering hearth
As I forsake all
Lust in Creation
From my soul
Wind Swept Hair
Blankets of Time
Upon tin roofs
Never Lay down
Is the Color
I have given up trying to be the person of yesterday, the person who didn't have bipolar, the person who never had experienced mental ill-health.
I spent many moments trying to pinpoint the exact moment things went wrong and tried to get back to before that time. But that person is long gone, she no longer exists, and it is a futile experiment.
But I am here now, living in the moment; I can only work with what I have got at this very second. The person of tomorrow will benefit if I stop trying to get back to the historical me.
I feel the future will no doubt have some bilps, it always does, but all I can control is now.
I have many things I want to do, but they are for my future self, not for me right now.
How can I live with one mind on the now and one in the future? By goal setting and little steps. The small step forward I take today towards my bigger goal will ensure my future self the best moments.
However, I must not live in the future; I have to live in the now as this moment is the only real one I have.
My fibromyalgia , having a Fiber flar. #attack , And my depression is bad very bad I feel that my soul is empty and I don't feel anything but pain #. The weather has changed here, it's been raining and temperature has changed. I fell like I don't belong anywhere. #Now that my kids are grown. I know I have said this before, but the thought of them not needing me any more. #I here stories about parents who can't wait for there kids to leave, I am not like that. #I was told that I could never have children,. #So when I became pregnant I new I was being blessed.And I tried to not make the mistakes my mom maid. I had a crappie childhood. #My dad was a alcohol
#This will probably be short,Maybe we new each other in another life #your like a magnet 🧲 I can’t break this . #I don’t know any more , I am not interested in any other person #Said befor you woke something in me that I thought would never fell aging. #Now I don’t know anything I am again in a dark place #I wish you would talk to me.You are very good person why can’t we do this #be my sunshine #I hope your ok I can’t see your videos at least that was something and you made me happy for a bit #you are my sunshine #
Right #Now I am feeling angery my old man is sick and know it’s not coved#people are so fake , and hurtful it’s not everybody it’s just the men that I find in my life that are hurtful and trys to break my spirit #and they are doing a wonderful job. #Trying to take care of my old man his 56 I know that’s not old . # And I am basically hit hard and I am not hit Physical it’s all mentally he doesn’t think that there is something wrong.So I will leave him to his self he doesn’t need me or my help. #and the other man I think I wrote about him ! #try to talk to him ,he is was very special to me . I told him a lot about me.Now weather he read any I don’t know.He is very good at hurting me I don’t know if he does it to anyone else #.It doesn’t matter my hole life I have been some how, Hurt from my dad ,
To my 1st husband, Now my second husband doesn’t want my help when he’s sick and , #I am just a maid.With no benefits.From the first I didn’t see it, but things change , #he told his sister that he’s two sisters and A friend he said was adopted .Where the most important to him.Not me or his daughter or his son.Only his sisters are important to him. #Not his kids .He said they where 🩸 blood his sisters #and Starlord ????Just know he has hurt me, I am wondering if all men are asses. I don’t care anymore about anything , except for my kids .They are gifts from God💕I just wanted to talk to someone.And I picked Starlord I guess he could have fun with me. #I feel like my life is over.I don’t see a future for me. #