pandemic

Hi! I'm new here, although I've known of The Mighty for a while now - I rediscovered it while researching support options for a dear friend who has MS.

I myself have been dealing with issues with "an #autoimmune component" (that seems to be undiagnosable due to my ever-changing test results) and chronic pain for many years. While it seems to have levels (a LOT of levels... so very many LEVELS!), it can be... I'm gonna call it irksome (except on those days when I have pain flares, when it's a PITA - I hope that's okay to say).

I figured out that I was #HSP about 20 years ago, when I first read Elaine Aron's book - it was as though a light came on and I finally "got" myself. The sad thing is, I "forgot" (or, really, forced myself to ignore) myself when too much Life happened - big changes, not all of them good, forced me to shift my career and my focus. And, in doing so, I felt that I had to deny the truth of who I am. Because of my denial (self-abuse, maybe? Who knows?) I wound up dating a narcissist - despite my knowing from the first that he was "off" and wouldn't be healthy for me. I'd spent so much time denying my truth that I didn't listen to my first instincts, and wound up gaslighted with serious self-esteem and trust issues after.

With the #pandemic , I reached a new level of Whoa - the #Dysthymia with which I'd been diagnosed turned into full blown depression, mixed with a soupcon of anxiety to really round things out. I became even more highly sensitized to even the slightest noises, couldn't deal with too much ANYthing, and basically turned into a recluse. Even now, I struggle with #SocialAnxiety , despite the fact that I seem to be friendly and open - the inner turmoil and the effort to seem "normal" (whatever in the world THAT is) is REAL.

All of the above may have been a contributor to the autoimmune element (although my older sister tells me that I've been complaining of pain since I was a child - times when I didn't want to be touched (and I'm a hugger) because EVERYthing felt too sensitive. That, too, may be an element of the HSP.

But I'm still here and, in my opinion, strong. I'm still working to embrace and honor my Self; and will continue to do so. I feel blessed to have rediscovered The Mighty, and look forward to reading other people's stories.

I had a close relationship with someone for almost 2 years now, but it was long distance due to the pandemic and the fact that she lives in Canada. We met on TalkLife, which is another mental health app. She opened up to me with an issue regarding her ex-bf, and I was able to empathize with her really well. I even shared my insecurities with social anxiety to her and she was so supportive. Over time, we got really close, and I was so happy to find someone like her. She felt the same way. Everything felt so real and authentic for both of us even if it was online. It was for the first time that we both experienced a deep emotional bond. We started chatting on WhatsApp. We called each other almost every day, and even video chatted several times later on. We talked about many topics ranging from the things we liked and how our day went to deep philosophical subjects. We sent gifts to each other. She even wanted to meet me in person, but due to the pandemic's travel restrictions and me being at university, it was hard to do all these years.

This summer I finally worked up a plan to fly and visit her in Vancouver. But she told me a few days ago that unfortunately, we are not really right for each other because she wanted to find more local people. She also was occupied with making a move to another province. Yet, she also told me that I was the most genuine friend she's ever had. I guess, in a way she's right because even if I did visit her in person, things would still stay the same between us because we would still be long distance and in 2 different countries. Seems like she wanted to get deeper with me, but couldn't.

Still, I just miss her so much, and have been in so much grief and depression because of that. I want to share this because it is a prime example of how everything could feel so real and right in a relationship, but circumstances like distance and location just get in the way.

#Breakups #Grief #Depression #Relationships #COVID #longdistance #pandemic

Before the pandemic being chronically ill, disabled, with mental health struggles I didn't get out much but I did have community and I did get out. Since the pandemic I moved and have been mostly alone in a rural area. I'm agoraphobic and the few exposure exercises I tried over the past year due to the company involved did not go well and were very triggering. Is anyone else struggling? My life never went back to "normal" if anything I've become more isolated mostly due to environment but also physical and mental health reasons. I'm tired of being isolated and alone and I am strategically trying to change that into this next year. I used to be extremely social and now I'm extremely introverted and anti-social. Sometimes it's hard feeling safe making new friends or making friends that aren't abelist. I definitely don't even feel comfortable outside by house even though I wish I had someone I felt safe with to get out more