Avoidance

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    Productive procrastination, can you relate?

    This resonated with me a lot.
    A common form of productive procrastination is working on house chores like dishes or laundry. You will feel productive and even accomplished but it’s actually a way to avoid.
    Can anyone else relate? Join my MH Fb community to be part of the discussion!
    Facebook.com/groups/accordingtodes
    #Avoidance #MentalHealth #copingskill #unhealthycopingskill #MentalHealthAwareness

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    Going to work is my escape.

    For me the pandemic was a major wrecking ball, especially when it came to my escape from dealing with at home issues. It was like I knew at least Monday would give me some space from what was going on and irritating me at home. Then, when I got sent home to work there, it was like my parents were telling me to go to my room and try to enjoy that cluttered mess.

    I sometimes wonder if others felt this way? Compartmentalizing their life as a survival strategy and wanting to keep the gig going that way. Tackle home when there, tackling work when away. Now that we live in this new reality, where many of us must stay at home, it is becoming a bit of a hurdle to say thank god for Monday.

    Fortunately I’ve learned to live with this reality now, but over two years ago, I was literally floored when my escape was stollen from me. It was like I couldn’t get my coping options, and would now need to deal with being with the unresolved issues.

    Shout out to all who coped this way and wish to say TGFM.

    #Anxiety #pandemic #Avoidance

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    Apathy as a Protective Response

    I just read a powerful post and wanted to make sure you all see it. He isn’t talking about apathy, but what he has to say about something traumatic impacting the development of habitual behaviors really resonated with me regarding apathy and isolation.

    Some apathy is purely physical. If you have chronic fatigue it makes sense that it is difficult to get up and do things. If your apathy is a side-effect of medication or one of the symptoms of your illness or head injury then inertia is no surprise.

    But if you struggle to get up from the couch and live your life because prolonged illness/depression/anxiety has traumatized you, then your apathy may be a protective response to it that developed into a habit that you can’t shake. That makes so much sense to me. It points to an extreme desire to escape something that is/was very unpleasant for us. Extreme avoidance.

    If this sounds like it might apply to you too, I recommend that you read his whole post, linked below. The information won’t “cure” you of your apathy, but it could help you understand it and yourself better. I find that kind of understanding helpful with my journey. Thank you for your post, Mr. Antares.

    Your Bad Habits Saved Your Live Once

    #apathy #Depression #BipolarDepression #ChronicIllness #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #SocialAnxiety #Fear #Guilt #Grief #Isolation #COVID19 #Avoidance

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    First post

    Hey, I joined the mighty app a few months ago. I have found it really helpful and is the only platform that I see as a safe space. Nonetheless, I am still consumed by anxiety when I think about or try to post. I have OCD and I overthink and over analyze just about everything. Everything I do has to live up to these extremely unrealistic expectations that I set for myself and only myself. So, something as simple as posting sends my mind into a frenzy and the dominos begin to fall. Anxiety ->perfectionism->obsession-> failure to meet expectations -> panic -> crippled by panic -> *crash* and I give up. Then I walk away and begin the endless cycle of avoidance, procrastination, resentment and guilt.

    It’s a lose lose situation. Trying to post makes me uncomfortable and not posting makes me uncomfortable.

    Even writing about how uncomfortable I am about this makes me uncomfortable hahaha.

    But that’s okay. Being uncomfortable is a part of life and today I’m choosing to fight through it.

    And guess what? I did it and I’m so damn proud of myself!

    Sending love and a big hug to anyone who could use one.

    Happy Holidays!

    #Anxiety #PanicDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Unrealisticexpectations #perfectionism #Avoidance #Procrastination #resentment #Guilt #Uncomfortable #proud #Accomplishments #firstpost #progress #MentalHealth

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    My 13 yo son is struggling with a deep depression episode, any suggestions on how I can help him? My personal coping mechanisms aren't helping him.

    #Anxiety #Depression #Avoidance

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    #therapeuticrest

    A friend is a full time school teacher, studying for his Phd, going through a rocky divorce and co-parenting 1 daughter. This past Saturday, he & his daughter woke, started their day, and she asked, "Dad, why can't we each just go back to bed?". He could not remember the last time he had done so!!! They retired to their rooms and slept, and slept and slept..... #therapeutic /rest/sleep is incredibly vital to our bodies and minds. This is not #Avoidance sleep. When you feel good, positive, go ahead reward yourself with "oh-so-good lazy sleep!
    Have you allowed yourself to be lazy lately?

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    Avoidance

    I've got this horrible trait, where I feel lonely but then don't answer the door when it knocks. Ever.
    To be fair I didn't know they were coming. And now I feel ignorant.
    #BPD #Depression #Avoidance #Notcoping

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    Fear of conflict= fear of life?

    As I’m slowly learning more about myself and the triggers I have due to anxiety I am beginning to realize I avoid conflict almost like it’s a disease. It’s to the point if I anticipate conflict coming I will get physically sick and begin to recite my defense and or apology until it’s all I can think about. Any minor conflict will leave me reeling for hours even if the conflict is resolved I am unable to not dwell on it. I apologize for things that aren’t my fault to appease people who aren’t even upset. How do I get past this, it’s not something that’s new I think I’ve dealt with it all my life only just now I am realizing how badly it affects me. I don’t want to fear life, I want to live happily but I am so afraid. #fearofconflict
    #Avoidance

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    #Avoidance

    I am struggling with making boundaries understood and effective. I am exhausted! Do I have a sign on my forehead that reads > feel free to disrespect and disregard? How can I not take this personally?

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    Avoidance

    My husband and I are both avoiders of difficult or uncomfortable conversations. We learned this behavior independent of each other but it makes it very difficult to communicate sometimes. We've been to couples therapy recently and while it did help there is still work to be done. I have been in solo therapy since March and done a lot of work to improve my communication skills.

    All this to say I hate that I'm doing all this work and he continues to exhibit the same behavior as before. I'm angry that he's been saying he wants to go back to therapy himself and yet hasn't made a single attempt to find a therapist.

    I'm also deeply anxious whenever he shuts down because I immediately assume it's something I've done. And then I spend endless hours obsessing about it until I work up the nerve to ask him what's wrong. Can you guess what he usually says 'nothjng I'm fine' GOD FORBID HE OPENLY DISCUSS HIS FEELINGS WITH ME.

    Anyway. I'm just annoyed and venting. #Anxiety #Avoidance