Personality Disorders

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Reminder for the week

So, I didn't even know I did this.
But last year I found just how much I gaslighted myself.
I have been invalidated a lot in my life.
And I had turned the voices of invalidation inwards.
And after being in an emotionally abusive relationship for 12 years with a chronic gaslighter, I also turned that inwards.
It was until I started learning about my personality disorders and how invalidation affects them, that I became aware of my inner dialog of negating myself.
Of putting myself, my feelings, my accomplishments down all the time.
Of not being allowed to be me.
Always feeling wrong and not valid.
But I am working on turning this around.
I fall on my face a lot with the practice.
But as someone once told me on The Mighty; all practice is good practice.
So I try to show myself grace.
And not invalidate my trying.
I hope you all have the best week possible💐
(Picture from Pinterest)

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A rough night is in my future

I knew today would be rough as I always pay the piper when I over do it. I’ve laid down several times today due to the pain but wish I hadn’t let it be a all day affair. But on the positive side, my mind wakes up and I allow myself to enjoy the quietness that night brings. It also gives me time to read post written by others. We have some very talented members who write very thought provoking post. Years of working different shifts or being woken up when the station tone goes off has my circadian rhythm off anyways. The brain being so complex is something that most people only use 10% of has been one of the great mysteries in the medical world. 1 organ that differs from each other of us. Can you imagine how boring this world would be if we all thought the same, acted the same and responded the same? That’s what makes us unique. If my mind is correct going back 30 plus years, Mental health professionals use what’s called the DSM manual. A large book that is thick as 3 encyclopedias which gives a diagnosis to certain traits. If you read it, you’ll find out that all of us have borderline personality disorders lol. When I worked as a mental health tech at night while working to afford Paramedic school, I would read this book and try to understand it. Psychologically it’s not a one size fits all diagnosis. That said, you go to 3 different Psychiatrists, you’ll probably end up with 3 different diagnosis. That’s one reason to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with. Not the one who tells you what you want to hear. My ex next door neighbor who recently finished her fellowship, deals exclusively in Autism. She opened up a clinic in a hospital in Oklahoma. She explains that it takes a minimum of 3 days to determine the type and extent of autistic children with constant monitoring. The brain is complex. I’ll stop on this for a bit as I have a tendency to rattle on lol. Regardless, I wish all of you a restful night with great dreams…..David

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Wrong diagnosis?

So I’ve had the diagnosis schizoaffective disorder bipolar type for nearly 10 years. My current team who I’ve been with for 5 months don’t believe I have this diagnosis and want to test me for personality disorders instead.

I’m really struggling to accept that the diagnosis I’ve had for 10 years is incorrect based on the opinion of people I’ve only known a few months and who have limited knowledge of me.

There’s also a certain kind of pride I have developed now over this diagnosis if you know what I mean? It took me yeaaaars to accept, and now that I have, I don’t want to lose it.

Can anyone relate?

#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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I survived

It’s only been a couple of weeks since I attempted suicide. It’s still very surreal and I am processing a lot. I will say, I am hopeful for the first time ever. Actually hopeful. Looking forward to being a part of a safe community of people just like me. Because the fact is, we don’t talk about suicide, mental illness or personality disorders enough. Here’s to healing together ❤️#MentalHealth #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

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Personality disorders

What is the thing with doctors, who believe you have a BPD, personality disorder, that they are tough and very straight and tells me what I am thinking. Hard like a coconut. Insulting me. Maybe just to get a reaction. She got none

But when I was exempt from personalitydisorders, the doctor was suddenly very nice and soft. Makes me even more paranoid over her as I have schizophrenia. Paranoid is my second name. I ended up with added PTSD diagnose.

Anyone else experienced this? Why do they do this? I am so sad for people being abused as a child and then abused in healthcare

#PTSD #Schizophrenia #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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