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Why So Many Professionals Avoid Working With BPD By BigmommaJ Through a Child Welfare, Addiction, and Clinical Lens

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized diagnoses in mental health.
Not only by society—but within the very systems meant to offer care.

For individuals with BPD, especially those with histories in child welfare or addiction services, help-seeking is often met with subtle rejection: long waitlists, referrals that go nowhere, or the unspoken message—we don’t work with that.

This is not accidental. It is systemic.

BPD as a Trauma Response, Not a Character Defect

From a trauma-informed and child welfare perspective, BPD makes sense.

Canadian research consistently links BPD to:

*Chronic childhood maltreatment

*Attachment disruption

*Foster care placement

*Instability

*Emotional invalidation and neglect (Gilbert et al., 2020; Public Health Agency of Canada, 2018)

What clinicians sometimes label as manipulation is often:

*Fear-based survival behavior

*Attachment-seeking shaped by inconsistency

*A nervous system trained to expect abandonment

In child welfare, we understand that children adapt to unsafe environments to survive.
BPD represents those same adaptations—carried into adulthood.

Child Welfare: Where the Story Often Begins

Many adults diagnosed with BPD have histories that include:

*Multiple placements

*Separation from primary caregivers

*Exposure to domestic violence

Early involvement with protection systems
(Fallon et al., 2015)

Yet child welfare systems are rarely equipped to provide long-term relational repair. Instead, children learn early that:

*Care is conditional

*Attachment is temporary

*Needs can be dangerous

When those children become adults, the mental health system often responds with the same instability—repeating the trauma under a clinical name.

Addiction and BPD: A Shared Nervous System Story

In Canadian addiction services, BPD is frequently misinterpreted as non-compliance or treatment failure.

But the overlap is well-documented:

*High rates of substance use among individuals with BPD

*Substances used to regulate overwhelming emotional states

*Addiction functioning as a form of self-soothing when no relational safety exists
(Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction [CCSA], 2022)

From a clinical lens, addiction and BPD are not separate issues—they are co-occurring trauma responses.

Treating one while ignoring the other leads to relapse, disengagement, and revolving-door care.

Why Professionals Avoid This Work

As a professional, it’s important to name the truth honestly.

Many clinicians avoid BPD because:

*Graduate programs offer minimal training in personality disorders

*There is limited access to supervision and consultation

*Systems prioritize brief, symptom-focused interventions

*Risk management is placed on individual clinicians, not teams

In under-resourced Canadian systems, clinicians are often expected to manage:

*Self-harm risk

*Suicidality

*Crisis presentations without adequate backup or support (CAMH, 2021).

Avoidance becomes a form of self-protection—not clinical best practice.

The Systemic Failure, Not a Clinical One

Here’s what often goes unsaid:

BPD has one of the most positive long-term prognoses when treated appropriately.

Evidence-based approaches such as:

*Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

*Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT)

*Trauma-informed, attachment-focused care

Show significant reductions in:

*Self-harm

*Hospitalization

*Substance use

*Emotional dysregulation
(Linehan et al., 2015; CAMH, 2021)

The issue is not that people with BPD can’t heal.

It’s that our systems are not designed to stay.

The Cost of Professional Avoidance

When professionals opt out of BPD care:

*Clients internalize shame

*Trauma is reinforced

*Trust in helping systems erodes

*People disengage until crisis forces re-entry

In child welfare and addiction work, we know that repeated system rejection increases risk, not resilience.

Avoidance is not neutral.
It causes harm.

A Trauma-Informed Professional Reframe

From a clinical and ethical standpoint, working with BPD requires:

*Advanced training, not fear

*Supervision, not isolation

*Team-based responsibility, not individual liability

*Curiosity, not judgment

People with BPD are not “too much.”

They are often the most impacted by systems that failed to protect them early—and continue to struggle to hold them now.

Final Reflection

If we truly believe in trauma-informed care, we must ask harder questions:

*Why do child welfare systems end at adulthood?

*Why are addiction services separated from attachment trauma?

*Why do clinicians carry risk alone in underfunded systems?

And most importantly:

*Why do we continue to abandon people whose core wound is abandonment?

Healing happens when care is consistent, informed, and relational.

And when systems are willing to stay, people with BPD do more than survive.

They rise above what they were taught to expect.

BigmommaJ
#BPD #Awareness

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BECOMING

I inhabit the space between dissolution and creation—that rare territory where one self has ended and another has not yet begun.
Memory cannot hold me. The future refuses all prophecy.
I am an ellipsis, a thought suspended, waiting for its completion.
The world asks for certainty. I offer something more valuable: the intelligence to remain uncertain.
This transient self—vulnerable, unresolved, persistently reaching—may be the truest thing I've ever been.
#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #MentalHealth #PersonalityDisorders

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What Is A Personality Disorder?

What Is A Personality Disorder?

A personality disorder is a mental health condition that is characterized by enduring patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that significantly differ from a person's culture and are inflexible. These patterns are long-term, cause distress, and can interfere with a person's ability to function in relationships, work, and other areas of life. On the other hand, the most common causes of a personality disorder include environmental factors, genetics, and trauma. Oh and symptoms vary widely depending on the specific disorder and often include difficulties with emotional regulation, self-identity, impulse control, and interpersonal relationships. Last but not least, the most common treatments for personality disorders include psychotherapy, medication, and receiving a diagnosis.

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What is “Normal”?

Looking through some of the post this morning, I found 1 common thing that connects all of us. We think we’re not normal. My question is what is normal ? Psychiatrist use what’s called a DSM manual which is about 6-8 inches thick that list every trait known. EVERY one on this planet could be diagnosed with borderline personality disorders by it. ( could you imagine a world where everyone acted, reacted the same? ) we’re all unique which makes it wonderful. Yes there are some traits which are treatable but I can’t stress enough to see your regular MD and have labs drawn to insure it’s not a medical issue first. Yes some are genetic, some are from experiences from childhood or some are from past experiences. After I was retired ( not by choice ) I went through a depression so deep that I never knew existed. I used to be a outdoor type guy that loved fishing,hunting,surfing pretty much anything. After awhile your fishing and golfing buddies quit coming by and you start the isolation phase. That 2-3 beers a day soon turn into a 12 pack, then almost a 18 pack a day. ( I never was a nighttime drinker). During that period I lost my Dad who was hit head on by a OxyContin addict doing 90 mph trying to outrun another car he had just hit. Then I lost Hunter. My Golden Retriever who NEVER left my side. Yes, I considered joining him on multiple occasions. One morning I woke up and had no urge to drink. The same with the next day and so on. To this day I still have no urge to touch alcohol. I went out and bought another Golden named “Buddy”. He’s best friends with whoever is holding the food. My point on this is wherever there’s a negative you’ll find a positive! It might take some time but you’ll find it. The one positive thing is all this brought me closer to God. He’s shown me to tackle 1 problem at a time. He’s shown me to enjoy the beauty that he created for us. He’s shown me to slow life down and enjoy it. The Boss post many articles on meditation. Read them as their invaluable. That’s why I normally post in the morning as my brain is relaxed . Wishing everyone a restful and enjoyable weekend…..David P.S. Buddy sends his love to all

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Living with a bipolar parent

Hi, I've lived my entire life with my dad who has bipolar 2, although he is medicated and a very responsible parent and also feels guilty about me having to witness his episodes, talking bout the matter was a taboo even with my parents, I ended up suffering because of this as I had no one to reassure me or talk to me about my feelings, I ended up creating a shell and I have been diagnosed with both schizoid and paranoid personality disorders, which my psychiatrist believes besides genetics, my childhood has played a huge role in it. As of now I'm extremly suicidal and depressed, I have no way to live separately from my parents and being in my father's presence even if he is smiling is irritating feels dangerous. I am losing my mind and spiraling every second of the day and i have failed multiple attempts. Is there any way to distract me from these thoughts amd give me a peace of mind besides medication? My psychiatrist said I need antipsychotics but I am in an unfavourable situation and unable to take meds. And family therapy is not possible due to my father being sensitive.

#Bipolar2 #BipolarDisorder #SuicidalThoughts

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What’s been the most helpful in managing your BPD symptoms?

From learning more about yourself and identifying coping strategies, to DBT, psychotherapy, and other therapy-based treatments, medication, building community, or connecting with others who can relate — there are many different paths that can support managing BPD symptoms.

What have you found most helpful? Which positive coping strategies work best for you?

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #PersonalityDisorders #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Anxiety

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Another Beautiful Day

Been somewhat of a busy day but just woke up from a well needed nap after running my errands this morning, and finally the irrigation company showed up to fix a leak on my yard irrigation pump that they had already repaired a month ago. Then a run to Guitar Center for a 1 of a kind strap lock for my acoustic guitar. I blame my nap on Lotus lol as he made my mind run all night thinking of his issues and his songs. Even though I pop in on occasion, some of you I think of often. Lotus, you inadvertently started my mind running last night as Thinking of what you accomplished. I hate to keep repeating myself but I spent 32 years in the medical field 14 years in the ER and 18 as Lt/FF/Paramedic with a large Fire Department here where a injury took my career away. But that was my prior life. I then had to reinvent a new purpose in life when I found this site. Lotus, whether you realize it or not, found a way to help both yourself, others members here and believe it or not even the Psychologist and Psychiatrist by your songs. The average human brain weighs approximately 10-12 pounds , it is our most complex organ and we use only about 10% of it. Psychiatrist use what’s called a DSM book. ( it’s thick as hell ) but it basically goes through personality traits and habits. That’s how your given a diagnosis. If you ever get a chance look through it. You’ll find out everyone suffers from Borderline Personality Disorders. But Psychiatrists who prescribes your meds usually have regimen Try this one first, if it doesn’t work we,ll try this one so on and so on. Some are very predictable depending on your diagnosis and usually have good outcomes. But Lotus, your songs can be a teaching tool to these professionals. It will help them understand more of what’s going on. In a song, your spilling your heart. In a office appointment setting, most never truly open up to what’s really going on. In your songs you open up completely. I bet MD students in that field can learn a lot just by listening to them. You might have found your purpose! It took me 7 years after my injury and surgery to find mine. Keep it up. If you need help just yell. ( I’m a past army vet as well ). I hope everyone is having a blessed day and finding a place to keep out of the heat! P.S. Plenty of water all !……David

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