Still struggling at 50. #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #Identity #SocialAnxiety #relationshipanxiety
There is no way to keep this quick, but I'll try. I'm 50 and still battling with OCD, ADHD, panic, social and relationship anxiety, constant depression. I could take a conversation with a professional in so many directions in talking about my symptoms, my experiences, etc, to try to "get to the root of it", but it's never simple, and I'm now exhausted. However I HAVE to keep trying, but finding yet another therapist and doctor to trust and open up to is just so overwhelming. My life effectively ended at 17 when my first panic attacks took over, and from that very moment, I knew I'd never be the same. There are certain things I've been unwilling to openly discuss. I've seen many therapists, gotten a lot off my mind over the years (that probably saved my life), I've taken a million different prescriptions, but have never stuck consistently with therapy, never have been as open as I could be, and so have made only enough progress to manage the worst of my symptoms, and now I just exist. I feel I'm looking downhill at the rest of my life, craving my younger days prior to the onset of this horrible condition(s) with an aching and desperate heart to go back in time and experience even a second of peace again. With two daughters now turning into adults, no spouse or family around for support, I have more ongoing responsibilities now and need help now more than ever. I am terrified.