rollercoaster

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1 Good Day, 40 Bad Days

Why is it that I can have 1 day where everything feels like all is right with the world and 40 that make me cry? This emotional #rollercoaster is getting old. The #negativity living in my head is so #confusing to myself, how can I expect anyone around me to get it? I really miss me. I miss laughing, I miss smiling, I miss work, I miss being the mom my kids could rely on...yet I can't be there for more than 1 day in 40 right now and then those 40 days, I wonder if I deserved the 1 good day? What did I do differently that day? #massivedepressivedisorder #Anxiety #PTSD #DVT #BilateralPE #DMT2 #Hypothyroid

5 comments
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Sad after good medical news #rollercoaster

Yesterday I recieved good news. My FND #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder is very likely treatable, because I've got symptoms less then 1 year. I'm glad that the intake went well, and that the therapist thinks it could work out. But somehow I'm so damn scared at the moment. Not because I could get better from my episodes of not moving my leg. No, it's because I've been sick since 2009, I've have numerous diagnoses #LymeDisease #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain . I've got periodes that I was at my worst, and periods of (physical and mental) therapy, that things became better.
The first time I got sick, I really thought some of my dreams could never come true. Then I got a better period, and I started dreaming again. In the last 12 years I've had this six times, and now I've got no clue what my dreams are anymore. What things are within reach, and other things are beyond my reach. It feels like a rollercoaster, and everytime I start to dream, or start to accept my situation, someone throws a curveball and nothing seems like it used to be.
I'm hoping that it will be alright, that the FND is treatable and I'm scared that it won't. I haven't slept last night, I'm not really hungry (but I ate some food anyway), and just feeling down. Does that even make sense? The therapist had good news.

Is there anyone who relates to this?

10 comments
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Looking for someone that has been in same situation or can relate? I would like advice #teens #Cutting .

Im a 39 yr old mother, my daughter is 15. Since October of last year my daughter was super depressed about a situation that happened at school. She liked a boy and the boy liked her back until, he told her he didnt like her, and never did. She was absolutely heartbroken. In October i knew nothing of this. One night i received the first of many fb messages to follow. Her friends would message me and say they were worried about her mental health. This lead to numerous hospital visits and shes on medication, I took her to a # psychologist. Thought she was doing better. I find her moods are a #rollercoaster . Numerous times shes had cut marks on here body id ask what happened and shed say the dog did it. About 2 months ago a new boy she was dating broke up with her, and she was #YELLING #screaming about the situation. She ended up slicing her forearm all up. Thankfully, it was nothing to severe. A few days ago she went off the handle from me just asking if everything was ok. She said " youre my problem" she was yelling screaming bright red in the face and then she started shoving me around. Anyway just a lil back ground. Right now im suffering severly with #panic # anxiety I cant sleep and spend my days crying. It feels like im freaking out on the inside. Anyone in a similar situation? Am I crazy? I do have an appt with the same psychologist my daughter goes to. Also wanted to know if, i find my daughter sometimes uses things against me to get what she wants. #newterritory #momofateen . Thank you for reading.

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Ups and Downs

Every day is like a rollercoaster for me. One minute I'm good then the next I feel like crying and most of the time I do cry. Just by the snap of my fingers. I cannot have a good day or whatever because it was up and down so I don't really have an answer so I just lie and say good... I don't understand why I am like this. Is there anyone like this? I feel alone.
#Depression #Anxiety #Sadness #lonely #relate #rollercoaster #feelings #mood #Thought #question #ADHD #alone

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These drugs are killing me.

My doctor recently said she thinks I might be bipolar. I always thought it was a mixture of adhd depression and anxiety. I fucked up my meds and now they aren't working. I'm self medicating with hard drugs. Hard drugs I know are killing me but I can't stop, the waves of emotion are too intense. I can't function having energy one minute then crying and feeling hopeless the next. I don't love myself, I don't know how. I expect other people to love me but don't do it myself. How dumb. I don't know what the point of this post is, I'm lost. #Emotions #rollercoaster #Drugs #SelfMedicating

4 comments
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Do you ever feel like you could manage your health better if you were alone? #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #rollercoaster

I’ve noticed over last few years (I began the fight over 10 years ago) that think I’d be better off without my husband. I haven’t gotten what I’ve needed from him. How long do I wait?! I’ve forgiven him because we’re all broken and because Jesus has forgiven me. But I can’t seem to forget the moments where I felt shattered and broken and he’s been unable emotionally to provide much comfort or support. We have two beautiful children, 20yo and 18 yo and I hate to break up this family, but I just can’t live like this any longer.

2 comments
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Feeling a little lost

I made the decision to log out of pretty well all my social media sites, as they weren’t bringing me much happiness at the moment. I feel like I’m missing out, when I know I’m likely not but it just feels strange as I spend so much of my time on them. So much feelings and emotions lately but I will do all I can to not give up yet. #BipolarDisorder #learning #Life #rollercoaster

4 comments
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The higher the climb the stronger the fall #BipolarDisorder

When i'm doing well, I'm doing really well. I can work long hours without getting tired, socialize and am very productive. The downside is it feels like the higher the climb, the stronger the fall. I'll be great for weeks, even months, push myself to be the best me I can be, and then I crash, like a roller coaster. When i'm doing well I feel like I can handle anything, I always think i'm "better" and the lows have ended, but they creep back up.

I'm on medication have done therapies and have dealt with this for years. I'm trying to get better with creating self care time so that the lows don't seem so drastic, but I think they are something I may always have to deal with.

I once asked a psychiatrist when I would get better and could stop taking meds he explained that If I had a physical ailment like diabetes I wouldn't be asking questions in the same way. That #Bipolar is something I will have to find way's to deal with throughout my life I guess i'm still learning how. #rollercoaster

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Bpd nightmares.:)) #Borderline #rollercoaster #breakdown

Well...i'm new here,but old enough to be fed up with mental issues already.so here are some of my precious borderline moments:)
 We all know what emotional rollercoaster is about,right? So,there were only a couple of times when i literally broke into my therapist's office fulfilled with manic happiness,and declaring i am so fucking well! I forgot about the moments when i was holding the xanax tablets,curled up on the floor while intense crying episode,and just wanted to end the irrational pain consuming me.Yep,this was just 4 days before my "enlightenment" in the office.:) My doctor kept asking me what happened so fast,cause it would be helpful to know about the "switch" which created this relief.I was just sitting with curious eyemovements cause i didn't fucking know either.something clicked on the verge of my total breakdown,and i felt resurrected.since then,among 2-3 weeks,this normality slowly decreased...in a very linear way.she warned me to be cautious,cause i can fall back again..and of course i agreed,but i did not really believe that anything could break me again.eventually i ended up falling in full numbness one day..and then overreacting everything another day..losing all motivation,and not knowing anymore about the "phoenix state of mind" i have experienced the first time in a WHILE..
   So people: Recovering from Bpd is like running blindly next to a wall 'till it breaks! We are going to have scars, and we will never foresee the moment of victory,cause there isn't one.we will never feel the progress intensely.one day we just wake up with a thick armor on us and weapons in our hands,so we can bravely crush the wall down without seeing it.:)