Selfdiscovery

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30, Flirty, and Finally Becoming

Turning thirty is like standing in front of a mirror that reflects not just your face, but every decision you made in your twenties. Society tells us that by now, we should have it all figured out — the career, the calling, the clear identity. Since childhood, we’ve been asked to choose.

One major.

One path.

One version of ourselves to commit to, for life.

"Pick a lane and stay in it," they said.

"Be consistent."

"Be clear."

But I never understood why.

Why must I be one thing?

I've always been many.

Different passions, different interests — all of them alive in me at different times. I’ve been a student of physics, a lover of art, a maker of things with my hands. I draw, I sing, I craft, I sell, I communicate, I design. I dance. I dream. I evolve.

And yet, the world made me feel fragmented because of it.

"You always start things but never finish them," my mother would say, her voice echoing in my mind.

"You need to pick something and stick with it."

I used to envy those who knew early on who they wanted to be — the ones who chose a profession, followed the map, and stayed the course. It seemed easier. Cleaner. More accepted.

But I’ve never been linear.

And perhaps that’s not a flaw. Perhaps that’s my power.

Still, there are days when I feel behind.

Like I haven’t “made it” yet. Like I’m stuck.

But when I look closer, I see evidence of becoming everywhere.

I was good at math. I earned a physics degree.

I’m creative — I can design, photograph, craft, speak, sell, and move.

My interests are a constellation, not a straight line.

So why should I choose only one star to orbit?

This modern world, with its demand for clarity and specialization, has often made me doubt myself. It's easy to feel invisible when you don’t fit the mold. To feel paralyzed when the world says you’re too much or not enough — depending on the hour.

But here’s what I’ve come to know:

I don’t need to fit into one box to be real.

I don’t need to excel at one thing to be valuable.

I am all of these things.

And together, they are what make me whole.

So maybe thirty is flirty and thriving — but maybe thirty is the origin story.

Maybe it’s the real beginning.

Not a deadline, but a launch.

For those of us who are multi-passionate, ever-evolving, and still finding our way, thirty isn’t late — it’s right on time.

We are not behind.

We are becoming.

And life is just getting started.

#Selfdiscovery
#nonlinearpath
#Becoming
#thirtyandthriving

#Anxiety #MentalHealth #Trauma

(edited)
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Flashback central

It’s amazing how once you think about one situation you’re currently in, you immediately have a million flashbacks as to what could have led to it happening… mistake after mistake. Just thinking about my abuse situation and trying to figure out myself again, it’s bringing back so much of which I never wanted to think about again.. #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Selfcare #Selfesteem #Selfdiscovery

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When do you feel happiest in your skin?

Sometimes life gets chaotic and we lose sight of ourselves and what we need to make us happy. Today's reflection question encourages you to dig deep to determine what you happy without changing yourself.

I feel happiest in my own skin when I am assisting others. I suffer from many mental health disorders and I am in school to become a psychologist. I am happiest when I am helping others become self-aware so they can better themselves and stop letting their mental health and thoughts control them. When I see others growing and thriving, it creates a sense of happiness like no other.

How about you? #MentalHealth #Selfdiscovery #selfawareness #WritingDaily #IWantToHearYourAnswers #letshelpeachother

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How Do You...? ....... #MightyPoets

How do you let someone kiss you
When their lips are a nightmare reseen?

How do you let another hold you
When their touch makes you want to just scream?

How do you lay down next to someone
When you feel as rigid as a board?

How do you let another inside
When your heart's padlocked right to the core?

How do you open up to someone
When you can't put to words what you feel?

How do you give another your life
When your life doesn't even seem real?

How do you ground yourself to someone
When your need is to break free and fly?

How do you learn to trust another
When your walls are built up to the sky?

How can you share this time here on earth
When you have not a thing left to give?

How do you turn such pain into gain
When you're too scared to let go and live?

How do you ease the panic inside
When fear is a grip that won't end?

How do you quell the heartache and pain
When you're unsure which wound you should tend?

How do you give your soul up to love
When you still haven't found the right key?

How do you attach yourself to a world
When invisible's how you feel seen?

How do you heal those scars of the past
When bandaids are in short supply?

How do you learn you're more than enough
When tears flow nonstop through your eyes?

How do you fix this pattern of hurt?
Well this I so wish that I knew;
Cause I haven't a clue to the answers we seek
To each question that starts, "How do you…?"

By: Debra Brent
09/07/2021

#howdoyou #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #EUPD #selfcare #selfawareness #Selfdiscovery #hurting #Healing #Poetry #sad #questions #MentalHealth #OCD #Suicide #poems #Pain

10 comments
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How Do You...? ....... #MightyPoets

How do you let someone kiss you
When their lips are a nightmare reseen?

How do you let another hold you
When their touch makes you want to just scream?

How do you lay down next to someone
When you feel as rigid as a board?

How do you let another inside
When your heart's padlocked right to the core?

How do you open up to someone
When you can't put to words what you feel?

How do you give another your life
When your life doesn't even seem real?

How do you ground yourself to someone
When your need is to break free and fly?

How do you learn to trust another
When your walls are built up to the sky?

How can you share this time here on earth
When you have not a thing left to give?

How do you turn such pain into gain
When you're too scared to let go and live?

How do you ease the panic inside
When fear is a grip that won't end?

How do you quell the heartache and pain
When you're unsure which wound you should tend?

How do you give your soul up to love
When you still haven't found the right key?

How do you attach yourself to a world
When invisible's how you feel seen?

How do you heal those scars of the past
When bandaids are in short supply?

How do you learn you're more than enough
When tears flow nonstop through your eyes?

How do you fix this pattern of hurt
Well this I so wish that I knew

Cause I haven't a clue to the answers we seek
To each question that starts, "How do you…?"

By: Debra Brent
09/07/2021

#howdoyou #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #EUPD #selfcare #selfawareness #Selfdiscovery #hurting #Healing #Poetry #sad #questions #MentalHealth #OCD #Suicide #poems #Pain

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The cherry I picked today: "What you resist persists"

I have fought myself for SO long. I fought against myself, my luck, my looks, my disease, my trauma, my sorrows, my past. I fought against my existence in this world, to match something I am not. I am all this. This face, this hair, these crooked teeth, this wrecked soul, this broken heart, these tears at night, and I am also the laughs and the hugs, all the "good mornings" and the honest smiles. I am the awe of seeing a beautiful sky, I am the tears of joy and the warmth in this heart when it feels love. I am all these things, and that's ok.

#Depression #Anxiety #PMDD #Acceptance #Selfdiscovery

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It’s been a battle in my mind with staying present. Yesterday, I realized that my parents never asked me what my favorite colors where, celebrated me, remember any milestones, noticed when I quit basketball in 6th grade, never encouraged me to dream or asked me how my day was going . I would just bring in my straight A’s and it was noted but not celebrated. I just existed but wasn’t seen. They didn’t help me discover who I am. Just a lot of emotional neglect. So, I feel that I now need to ask myself those basic questions: what are your favorite colors? What is your favorite song? Who are you, really what do you want out of life? What interests you?Some more self discovery. #CPTSD #depressed #hopeful #childabusesurvivor #Catholic #Selfdiscovery #HealingProcess

4 comments
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All actions have consequences

I think almost everyone lives with the consequences of bad parenting. Weeks ago, I had a character breakdown. By my mom. She told me that I'm selfish and self-centered because I want to take control of my life and avoid people who hurt me. That conversation has stuck in my head and I don't think it's going to leave anytime soon.
My parents' rocky relationship has affected me and my sis severely. I've lost my self-confidence and everytime I achieve something, I just discredit myself. I'm really trying not to but it's super hard when everyone around me is shutting me down. A lot of things has happened and a lot of times my parents have said sorry, but scars don't heal that easily.
I just want to find myself again, the girl that used to be an aspiring light in the dark. I want her back. #Selfdiscovery

4 comments