I know it seems silly or unusual but my therapy pet was a hamster named Storm. I named her that because she had white fur (like Storm in the X-Men), and because the day I brought her home we had the biggest thunderstorm I’ve ever known. We hadn’t had any rain in the area for nearly 60 days. And the day I brought her home a massive thunderstorm hit.
I bonded with her very quickly. She liked to climb up my body and sit on my chest or my shoulder. If I had my hair down she’d curl up on my shoulder right at the nape of my neck. She would jump into my hands and take food from me. She always made me smile. Whenever I was in too much pain to leave the house I’d get her out of her cage and she’d fall asleep on my belly when/if I laid down. If I was depressed beyond help I’d play with her and she’d cheer me up.
She helped me through so much. Then earlier today at about 6:15pm I noticed her lying on the top level of her cage - something she didn’t usually do. Then she moved abruptly and flopped back down. I literally screamed for my mum (who had also brought a hamster the same day as me, but her hamster died several months ago). Mum came running in. She managed to get Storm out of her cage but she wasn’t moving much.
I started to hyperventilate and I sobbed so hard it felt like I was going to vomit. Mum said Storm was cold. She gave my baby to me and I held her as she jolted a few times and started to vomit a little bit. And just as I called the vets she started to go limp. Her laboured breathing stopped and she just curled up. It was too late. We think it was a heart attack.
I feel lost. I feel irreparably broken. I’ve been crying non stop every minute since. And then I realised the date. I brought her home on 24th July 2018. Two years ago to the date.
My mum keeps telling me that I was with her at the end, that she knew she wasn’t alone and that she knew she was loved. Mum said that she wanted for nothing. I was always buying bags of dried banana chips for her, and dried pineapple cubes. Those were her favourites. She had a comfy bed and lots of toys. And just last night I saw her running on her wheel so fast you couldn’t even see her little legs! She was moving her stuff all around her cage...
I’d been in bed with a migraine most of the day, so I couldn’t see her cage. I keep wondering how long she could have been there? How long was she alone? I feel like a terrible human being.
And it hurts so much.
#TherapyPet #Animals #Hamsters #Depression #hurt #Loss #help