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Self Imposed Prison - Trapped in my own mind

When my world came crashing down, I was forced to find my way in the world. Every bad decision I made altered the course of my life. I was stuck in a rut as my father described it. Unfortunately for me; it was much worse than that.

The rut was one thing and the need to pull myself out of it was ever present. Sadly the rut was only the beginning of a life-time of negative emotions and regret. I wish I could have experienced the trauma and continued with a positive attitude and I did attempt to forget about the people who hurt me. No matter how hard I tried to forget and move on I was stuck reliving the trauma over and over again.

Angry, sadness and revenge continuously played on my mind. As time has passed I just wanted some closure from the incident as it is forever haunting me. Even an apology would make me feel a little better instead I am stuck in self-loathing and misery while the people who hurt me continue on as though nothing happened.

While everyone my age was having a good time and enjoying their youth, I would spend each weekend isolating in my room. Weekends trying to forget what happened to me with the help of marijuana. I was my own worst enemy, imprisoned and desperate for a solution. Just like everything else in my life - I was looking for an easy fix. An easy fix which I am still looking for to this day

I have come to realise that trauma will be ever present in my life. It has become a part of me whether I like it or not. The victim mindset has plagued me for years and I need to make a change. I need to let go of the negativity and anger once and for all.

#Recovery #PTSD #Depression #selfmedicate #Sadness #Pain #hurt #suffering #Addiction #Hatred #Jealousy #anger #despair #gloom #Doom #Love #Support #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Friendship #Family #people #places #things #control #Emotion #sad #feelingbetter #Slowly #Survivor #illness #struggle #adversity #Sabotage #selfawareness #Reflection

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Sweat and Tears Song

#adversity #MentalHealth #Song #BipolarDisorder #Depression Sweat and Tears Song: I see your sweat n' tears Your face marked by your deepest fears Over and over you've fallen again You're trying so very hard my friend Here's to seein you live your dreams You make it so easy to believe Knowin we can all do the same Livin our lives bein proud of our names For a while you didn't seem like you'd make it It was tough to look when you tried to fake it The pain you felt was hard to watch But you never gave up you never stopped It's been great to see you rise The best part is that look in your eyes I'd like to say I played a part You really were simply all the heart" I wrote this "Sweat and Tears" song back in 2016. It is great to release it in this form. I hope that it encourages you in some way! ~Arlen

Sweat and Tears - Arlen Rundvall

This is an original song about not giving up. No matter what life throws at you. Keep on going for it. I see you where you are at. You may be suffering but y...
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Positive step - Awareness to combat racism

Just recently aired in Australia
'The School That Tried To End Racism'
A program on ABC 1 of 3 docuseries by journalist/TV presenter Marc Fennell

Series 1 Episode 1 is available on ABC iview
for Aussie Mighties.

How heartwarming and confronting at the same time.
Unpacking racial prejudices among a group of youth in school.

#DistractMe #Anxiety #Depression #IntergenerationalTrauma #RacialTrauma #Trauma #Bekindtoyourself #resilience #strength #MentalHealth #adversity