To love bomb and to ghost #Love #ghost #attachment #crush #Selfworth
I recently got myself out of a toxic “situationship” because I finally realized that I was suffering. This is actually a really big step for me because in the past I would rather be depressed than be without said persons company… In the beginning of this situationship I had zero interest in the person and he checked none of my boxes; he spoke about women in such a degrading manner, and he’s hot and cold. This means that he would be very present, sweet, and thoughtful for a few weeks and then ghost me without reason for the next few weeks. I was so desperate for his attention that when he came back I’d welcome him with open arms. This is actually called “Love bombing” and trust me, it hurts. Now, because I convinced myself that my attachment to him was a crush, I did everything in my power to justify his manipulation!! This is until I realized that he was going out of his way to ignore me. After he played this trick 2 times, the 3rd is where I realized my worth. Well… not really. Uhm… it took him telling me that he didn’t want a relationship and saying that he flirts with everyone for it to snap in my head. Even then, I assumed “Hey, we could still be friends! The bestest of friends in fact”. We even called each other “Bestie”. But then the cycle continued and the love bomb + ghost tactic started again so I took back my power and completely cut him off. Not officially, there was no “We’re no longer friends” conversation, but now I don’t allow him in my bubble. He no longer has access to me. I ignore his messages and attempts at conversation + physical contact and I feel good about it: relieved. But with my overthinking here comes the question — does he even care that I cut him off? And that breaks my heart hurt because I’ve been dealing with him for 6 months... SIX! And this urges the other questions — was I imagining the love bombing? Was he just being nice?? NO WAY, I won’t accept that. If I searched up “How to know if someone likes you” he’d check every singular box. This entire thing makes me SO angry because just as I would start letting my guard down and slowly lifting that physical barrier (platonically of course), that’s when he would ghost me. This is why my guard is make of bricks and cement. I’m so scared of people leaving and taking a piece of me with them but then again relationships are about sacrifice… right? But why would I sacrifice my mental and emotional well being for anyone??? Even those that I know would never leave… and that’s the problem. Thanks dad.