Join the Conversation on
90 people
0 stories
7 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in

Is it just me .. or am I understanding this wrongly ...?

If you're into all these newfangled (or ok maybe not so new) mindsets and buzzwords and things, you'll know of this thing called a 'growth mindset'.

Put simply, a “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.

A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.

Which sounds good at first glance, right? We can all grow to learn new things, we aren't fixed by (old/previous) skills and experiences - time to learn/achieve new things in every area of life: school, work, craft, exercise, .. etc.

But (in my experience, not sure if it's just me/Asian life/life's bitter realities/hyping up a fluff buzzword) -- that's not what it really means or looks like.

Because -- I'm not gonna even use my new marketing job as an example for this, although part of me is tempted to. But let's just say, school. The reality is, more often than not - we can't really have room to make mistakes!

Sure, I can tell my kids that they will "eventually" master multiplication and division someday - but reality is they have an end-of-term test by which time they have to show mastery.

Or even if they really master it the next year, by that time there is so much more they need to know - decimals. percentage. fractions without common denominator. & not learning it within the immediate time window, means they will always lag behind, struggling to catch up.

Does anyone else feel/has anyone else ever felt that "growth mindset" bears more implications of "you better be able to do it by ... xxx [insert date of assessment of learning]", rather than the "continuous process of learning" vibe its supposedly hyped to give off?

I can see how this might work in a leisure example though - like for a small biz setting where no one is "assessing" you per se, there is always room to try new stitches/yarn/patterns/colours in crochet, for example.

But for all else real-world with an assessment .. even for a working context it feels like the reality of a growth mindset is "I give you xxx amount of time to master xxx things, because you need to have had all these figured out by end of probation/end of the year/end of xxx [insert deadline]"

Any thoughts?

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Employment #growthmindset #SocialAnxiety #Anxiety


Misery loves company

That phrase. That phrase! Why?? I truly don’t get it. Shouldn’t you want to raise your people up? Shouldn’t you want the ones you love to succeed and be happy? If you see a loved one happy, thriving, growing, why, WHY for the life of me, would you want to ruin that? To sabotage that for them? To plant those seeds if doubt? To bring them down and bring them drama? Why would you try and persuade them to go back to the drinking, the partying, that lifestyle after having watched them transform into something beautiful. Someone who is stable and GROWING! If you feel you are being left behind, use them as inspiration and move forward with them. Grow! Spread those wings and soar along side them! Celebrate the little victories and if they need a swift kick to the buttcheek, be that kick for them! Let them be that for you. Life is hard to begin with and with “friends” like you, who needs enemies. Search within yourself for some comment decency. For some self worth. For some drive. We grew up in the same town. Same opportunities afforded to both of us. The difference is I knew I wanted more. I pushed and by the grace of God, I made it to where I am now. I have encouraged all who would listen along the way. We are not the same. You and she are not the same. Stay in your lane and let her go. Let her bloom and grow without you standing in her way. Stop being selfish. Face the fact that you’ve chosen to continue to live how you live and she is FINALLY outgrowing you. Find yourself for yourself. For your kids. She will be fine without you and that’s what you hate and fear the most. I will say a prayer for you. I will pray that God touch your heart, your soul and that you find peace your soul so needs. 🙏🏼❤️ #growthmindset #Depression #Anxiety #selfImprovement #letgo #prayingforyou #friendsforseasons #ventsession

See full photo

Take Responsibility/Own your BS

Anybody else feel like "that's just how I am" is a cop out? I feel like some people never acknowledge their behavior or feel they are capable of growth. It makes me extremely sad. I disagree with that type of mindset fully. While some things about a person might never change it isn't an excuse to not try to do/be better. #Anxiety #Depression #growthmindset


Do Not Compare Your Chapter 1 to Someone's Chapter 100

Not long ago, this became my mental memo as I started becoming more and more aware of this unhealthy and self-destructive habit.

No matter what path we are on, we often fall into this unkind, unloving and unrealistic comparison trap.

Maybe you just start a new career, start learning a new skill, forming a new habit, or you are on a #Healing and #Recovery journey like me.

Please remember, everything takes time and you are good enough wherever you are on the journey.

Be kind and loving to yourself.
Every little step counts.

It is those small steps we take every single day that take us to where we intend to go.

Healing journey is no exception.

You will have days where you feel like you are back to the starting point.

Please remember it is your mind tricking you as it feels more comfortable going back to something familiar.

In those days, take extra time caring for yourself.
Do things that truly lift you up in the long run, for example, spending time in nature or do some exercise.

And I get it.
In those days, making a healthy choice is 100 times more challenging.

Here's the trick I learned from a friend to help myself make a better decision especially during those darker days:

When I am aware of that my #Depression friend is around the corner or I am simply feeling more negative and down, I would ask myself, which choice is the one that I will never regret after I go for it?

Is it rolling out the yoga mat, doing some yoga or lying in bed letting myself dwell on the negative voices?

Is it taking a short walk somewhere I feel comfortable or sitting at the desk binging eating sugary things?

Choose the one that won’t lead you to more negative emotions.

It is those little moments where we are strengthening the healthier & less traveled neural pathways, exercising our mental muscle again and again and training ourselves to face the next challenge with stronger mental strength.

Please remember, do not compare your chapter 1 to someone’s chapter 100.
It is okay to feel down.
It is okay to feel depressed.
There is nothing wrong with you.

It is totally okay to experience those challenging #feelings and #emotions.

Taking time to take care of your #MentalHealth is as crucial as anything else.

#Self-care is your daily non-negotaible.

One step at a time.
You are stronger than you think.
#SelfLove #Healing #MentalHealth #Wellbeing #Awareness #innerwork #selfcare #feeltoheal #Empowerment #growthmindset #Trauma #PTSD #Anxiety #vulnerability #youareenough #authenticity #EndTheStigma #Storytelling #selfhelp #powerfulwords #loveyourself #compassion #positivemindset