ijustwanttofeelbetter

So I saw my cardiologist this morning for my follow up after having my tilt table test done on Friday. I'm not sure how I feel about the appointment. She said my test results weren't very conclusive. She still thinks I might have POTS but she's not giving me a diagnosis of POTS at this time.
She wants me to drink 2-3 liters of water a day, increase sodium, and begin exercising slowly to begin "reconditioning" my body. Start with simple cardio 6 days a week. Just walking five minutes. Then once I can handle that, bump it to ten minutes, and so on until I hit thirty minutes six days a week. Then start adding in strength training. I will go back to see her December 29th. If by then I don't have an improvement we'll discuss medication.
Is it weird that I’m a little disappointed? #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #LivingWithPOTS #StillNoDiagnosis #ijustwanttofeelbetter

#Depression #worstmomever #thestruggleisreal #ihatemyself #whyme #ijustwanttofeelbetter #iwanttogiveup
I just blew up on my little one for no reason last night. I threw everything in the room and started crying and told the kiddo that the room was a mess and why? I also said that my kiddo was ungreatful for everything and spoiled rotten. I didn't realize how much my kiddo is going through too not being in school. I feel horrible for everything I did last night. I feel 90% of the time that I'm not doing things right. That I'm lazy and I need to do more. I need to be a better person. But, if I show my kiddo stupid things like that how is the kiddo going to be a better person to? I'm struggling so bad right now. I just don't feel like life is worth it right now. 😟 Thanks for listening

For the past year and a half I've been herded in and out of doctors appointments in which they've checked for a plethora of things. The chronic pain has been getting much worse in the past 6 months, so I was finally instructed to make an appointment with a rheumatologist. I did a majority of the blood work ahead of time, that way I was prepared for the initial rheumatologist appointment.

Unfortunately, I've received most of the results and I'm feeling slightly hopeless right now. I've become amazing at pretending I'm doing great and feeling amazing even when I'm being destroyed by constant severe inflammation, De Quervain's, chronic back pain, nerve pain, muscle pain, anxiety, numbness, fatigue, and migraines. As dumb as it may sound, I was really looking forward to getting these blood tests done. I had hoped that it would give me a better understanding of what was going on with me. Granted, I'm still waiting for the ANA titer; however, most of my doctors had assumed I had relatively severe rheumatoid arthritis. According to my results, I most likely do not have RA.

Has anyone had the symptoms of chronic illness, but negative test results?

I'm struggling to stay positive right now, but I'll keep trying my best!”

#BloodTests #ChronicPain
#Anxiety #Migraine #Fatigue #Pain #ijustwanttofeelbetter #nervepain #Inflammation #DeQuervainsTenosynovitis

I am in the middle of a Lupus flare. I hurt all over, I have had a migraine going on 2 days now. My body is on fire.  And because I had to change insurance carriers the beginning of the year due to an insane premium increase with my last carrier (went up $700/mo) , I have had to switch doctors.  Ok for some people - horrible for people like me who have several specialist.  And this new insurance requires referrals.  ok - great, not a problem in general only I cant find a PRIMARY DOCTOR who will take the flippin insurance.  I called 37 off the insurance's list today - guess what, none of them take the insurance I have.  And I used to complain about people going to the ER for little things when they should go to their primary - now I know why they dont - they cant find one to take their stupid insurance they pay an insane premium for.  I have several Autoimmune disorders and kidney disease.  I take 15 meds a daily.  and I can't find a primary...great. I feel like giving up.  it doesnt feel like its worth the fight
#CheckInWithMe #insurancesucks #ijustwanttofeelbetter