So, here in the UK the kids have been off school for a 2 week break…. About 3 weeks AFTER they’d already had the half term break as Easter came early this year.
Just wondering if there are any other parents on here who reach the point of screaming internally when your day is literally “wake up, clean up, food for kids, make beds, put wash on, take wash out, make more bloody food, wash up again, put dry washing away… Aaaaand keep repeating” 😱😱
I’m bloody exhausted mentally & physically and currently trying to deal with a c-spine that doesn’t want to play ball, crazy muscle pains from scar tissue build up alongside menopause (thank god for HRT!), fibro, thyroid issues, pots, you name it, each year the list gets longer!! I suppose I’m ranting here but it pees me off when it only seems to be me who is capable of seeing that bins are overflowing, or making food, or wiping the bathroom around after use. Child 1 works from home, child 2 is 10 & starting high school in September. DH works from home and is currently in a UC flare up.
I’d started a diploma in diet & nutrition with biochemistry before the break as I need something just for me. I’ve asked numerous times for help with the house - specifically, you mess it up, you clean it up & ask the 10yr old to just keep her room tidy and clean it once a week. Same with the eldest & asked hubby to help with the heavy lifting…… Today I just get back from visiting my mum who has Lewy Body Dementia and is in a care home, to find that washing is still wet in the machine, 10yr old hasn’t actually moved anything to clean her room and the bathroom and kitchen bins are full. Literally screaming inside as I make the beds (had to do those as our elderly cat likes to sleep on them and isn’t always the cleanest bless her), wash up, empty bins and start prepping for dinner.
When I ask 10yr old if she can wash up and then finish her bedroom, I get the grumps and tears reaction!! Go to tumble drier only to find the lint trap is full and so is the condenser unit. I’m the unreasonable one for complaining that I’m the only person to check and clean between washes.
I am soooo bored and so painfully aware that my life is existing and I don’t want to reach my 70s and end up in a care home like my mum. I’m aware that as I reach my very late 40s my life is getting harder pain wise but also it’s slipping away from me. I miss my career, my social life and my health…. I want to scream “STOP I want to get off!” but I know I’m blessed to be a stay at home mum, even if it was the curve ball of ill health that made it possible. If you’ve made it this far in my rant, I apologise, I can’t say anything at home as I feel ungrateful as when I am off my legs Hubby does step up but it’s never the same and as soon as I’m up again, it’s going over everything that’s missed. Anyone else feel this mixture of anger, frustration, guilt & loss???? #EDS #Fibro #mental health #Guilt
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