Our Side of Suicide

I feel as though I’ve hit a bottom in my life. I know it stems from no job and how I’m treated and the lack of respect. They keep pushing but never giving. It’s also not what I went to school for. My life feels so meaningless. I have no energy for anything anymore and all I do is sleep which doesn’t even satisfy me.

I’m so exhausted and done with everything I’m not sure what I’m even looking for anymore. I spoke up to my physiatrist about all these feelings and wanting to end my life and all she did was give me the hotline number.

I guess what I’m asking is where is the sign that it’s okay to quit my job.

#OurSideOfSuicide #Selfharm #ChronicDepression #Depression #CheckInWithMe

Last week I lost my brother to suicide. He made his first attempt a little over 3 weeks ago. In the 3 weeks following he attempted 2 more times before his final attempt, which took his life. Me and my family did what we thought we could do. We supported him emotionally, financially, and offered resources. He was heartbroken and lost. He lacked any sort of self love. As his sister he confided in me during those 3 weeks. He told me his deepest darkest secrets and told me how he thought he was a terrible person. It was so hard on me at the time. I tried my hardest to reinforce positive thoughts and told him how much I loved him along with others. It was not enough. Last week he took his own life. This is the hardest thing myself and my family has to endure. I know that he was hurting beyond my own comprehension but it doesn’t take my own hurt away. If anyone has gone through a loss like this I would greatly appreciate a kind word or advice during this time. Thank you. #NationalSuicidePreventionWeek #OurSideOfSuicide #SuicideLossSurvivor

So I've been fairly suicidal ever since I could remember. But does anyone else feel like it's an actual diagnosis? #OurSideOfSuicide

I posted on Facebook last week that I was suicidal, and considering a divorce. I did not know I was experiencing the worst days of my PMS, because my monthly changed its schedule.
In response I was given a phone number to a hotline, many thoughts and prayers and my wonderful aunt, freaked out.
When my daughter was born I promised her that I would never take my own life and I would always get help. I promised the same to my son when he was born. I do not break my promises.
My course for when I feel this way, I go to bed. I take my anxiety meds, leave my medications with a and go to bed.
My aunt was having none of it. She was texting me nonstop for over an hour. While I appreciate her well meaning, my gods take my answers at their word!!!
I don't talk about how I feel on Facebook because the people there instantly freak out, think the worst, make snap judgements about what I need, and hound me about my wishes.
I ton't talk to anyone about this stuff because it is a symptom of my PMS that I become irrationally angry, overly emotional, have suicidal thoughts, and have attempted suicide in the past, and no one understands.
I don't talk about it because I have seizures that accompany my PMS and the first day of my cycle that make me feel awful and make life a thousand times more difficult.
I am tired of explaining myself all the time. I don't owe anyone explanations, I don't owe anyone anything. So when I finally discover my diagnosis and share it there with everyone "concerned" when I was suicidal and having awful seizures, and no one responds like I never said anything. That is when I know they didn't care.
#Depression #OurSideOfSuicide #PMS #Epilepsy #CatamenialEpilepsy #PMDD #PremenstrualDysphoricDisorder

My cousin (more like a brother) sadly took his own life on Monday. I don’t know how to feel. What to do, how to respond. I feel completely devastated and totally numb all at the same time.
If there are any support groups or counselling services you can recommend please do. I know I need help
To get through this and can’t seek that from my family x