restlessness

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    Fibromyalgia pain

    This morning the Fibro pain has again reared its ugly head- I hate when it starts my day,instead of ending my day( tho that's not nice to be hurting at bedtime,either!). Guess it's the below freezing temperature that's got it going. Don't you( those with fibro) just hate it when the fibro takes over even Before the day starts? It over comes the arthritis,the swollen feet & lower legs,the fitful sleep from the nite,and tired mind from having to deal with it & everything else on a daily basis. Even the pretty sunrise this morning gets hit. Big Sigh. Oh well,such is life when you are used to hurting All Over from an Invisible Disease. #Fibromyalgia ,#RA ,#oa ,#PTSD ,#GAD ,#Bipolar 2,#GERD ,#Insomnia ,#high Blood Pressure,#Allergies to most Everything,#sinusitis chronic,#Teeth problems( likely from meds been on for so long,acc.to dentist),#"covering" how I really am feeling,#bad dreams that carry over into the day,#restlessness ,#So many Meds,#dry Eye Syndrome,#Dermatitis -chronic,#Headaches ,Short term memory loss left over from ECT treatments,#Fibro Brain Fog,#sad ,#Overeating when illnesses take over too much,##Poor Self-Image,#Stagnant motivation,#chronic Talking to Myself-even Out Loud,#Talking & writing too much,#worry ,#Thinking of others instead of me,#people Pleaser,#Procrastination ,#Poor money management,#Ignoring important signs & Symptoms.

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    How do manage being so disabled you can barely do basic self care (and many days not at all) without help or healthcare?

    Noone is going to make me food or run me a bath. I have to wait sometimes weeks for someone to carry my laundry down so I can do it then gaia knows when it'll come back up. So I often have to wear dirty clothes. Which my mother encourages because we apparently can't afford to wear our clothes once. Yet she can afford all kinds of junk food and other miscellaneous stuff. She recently brought home kittens and I have to feed them and clean up after them. Which I never agreed to. My bedroom is destroyed, garbage everywhere, and noone will help me clean it up. I can't do chores anymore and my family had gotten comfortable with me doing almost all of them since I was a kid. Never had a choice, parents worked all day and my brother's were fucking abled bodied princes who got to sit around playing games all day. When they were in the 20s I stopped cleaning up after them and hell ensued. I was shamed and guilted and abused so bad for refusing to do it. So I continued to do it when I can. Often it was a condition of me moving back home everytime welfare kicked me off or a roommate or landlord fucked me over. I could barely take care of myself, yet I'm expected to clean up after grown abled bodied men? Sexist abliest bullshit. I can't get homecare. I've been waiting on specialists for over 15 years. Mum can't afford the CBD oil anymore. We've got cannabis in the house but who knows how long we can keep getting it and it comes with a whole other set of problems. I'm exhausted and suicidal tho I'm too scared I'll fuck it up to attempt it. But somedays I come close. I'm so scared of becoming a vegetable. The worst part of this is that for a few months this year I had gotten healthcare and physically I was doing better but the medicine was causing me severe panic attacks every night, couldn't sleep in my bed for months. My mum's abusive boyfriend added a board at an angle to my bed just to get me off the couch cuz they were afraid my fat would break it. Then we couldn't afford the dosage of CBD anymore. So with both meds down, I'm slowly declining again. I hate that I'd had that good period of time because it gave me fucking hope and then it was gone as fast as it had come. Cruel as fuck. I'm tired of being in pain. I'm tired of nobody believing me. I'm tired of the world telling me I don't deserve healthcare and basic human rights. I'm trans, fat, disabled and queer. The world hates me. I'm tired of being alone because the only people who will be friends with me are too tired to interact even online. I'm exhausted. How do YOU do it? #Anxiety #Depression #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ChronicMigraines #chronic dizziness #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Autism #ADHD #restlessness #exhausted #NeedSupport #needhealthcare #CarpalTunnelSyndrome #Osteoarthritis #trans #queer #Fatphobia

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    𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

    𝚂𝚘 𝙸 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 ,𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜... 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝... 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚊'𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚝 #sleepingnights #sleepwell #Anxiety #Depression #tiredness #tired #Prayer #restlessness #Goodnight

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    Completely Restless

    I’m so emotionally and mentally drained and I haven’t slept at all today. I feel like my peace of mind has been stolen from me to the point that sleep is so out of reach. I’m in misery, I feel very much alone in my distress, and it feels like everyone is so far away. #Depression #restlessness #nosleep #FeelingAlone

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    Disconnected Silence

    The paths I tend to be drawn towards are vibrant and intellectual. At the moment I feel smothered and misunderstood. I yearn for an outer body experience or disconnect from reality. The silence between us don’t quiet the voices in my head but only exacerbate them. All I can do is continue to cope. #restlessness #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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    Learning to relax #Anxiety #restlessness

    I keep feeling that something bad will happen if I rest for even 2 minutes and in that space of time I don't worry about the same 3 or 4 things 😂 😂 😂 Hope everyone else is taking things easy this afternoon

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    Feeling hopeless #restlessness #AnxietyDisorders

    Feeling so hopeless tonight. I recently quit my job and moved to a different state to be with my husband. This whole change and not working currently is driving my anxiety to the edge. When I made the decision I thought I ll enjoy the break.But now my mind simply keeps whispering in my ear every second of the day that “you made a mistake” . I just want it to stop . I wish it was easy for me to be happy just like other individuals. I know everyone is not entirely happy and everyone has their own shit to deal
    With. However, I am sure no one worries every second of the day like I do. I am not easy going. I have anxiety- sometimes just wish it were not like this or I could go back in time to fix it

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    Why do I feel so empty when life seems to be getting better and I’m actively getting rid of negative things/people in my life?

    I’ve been making positive changes in my life, new job and less negative people and working towards goals, why do I still come home at night and feel so sad. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be alive and feel so much anxiety and confusion with my life and my mind. I just want to feel like myself again, driven, happy and confident with my life... #Anxiety #Depression #restlessness

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    Does anyone experience really bad physical anxiety and restlessness followed by uncontrollable crying or just crying with no trigger?

    I had a weird day where everything felt fine then after laying down my entire body felt like it was very overwhelmed and mentally just felt scared? It wasn’t like a depressed feeling but it did not feel good at all ...trying to figure out what’s going on with me #Anxiety #Depression #restlessness

    4 comments