I had a really bad childhood. Both parents were very abusive, but my father was the scariest.
I woke up this morning to a flashback of my 6’4” father standing over me. It was like he was in the damn room.
I’m trying to keep my brain busy and be present, but I’m having a hard time staying if of the “this isn’t fair” place.
I don’t wish this on anyone, but I’m grateful someone else can relate #CPTSD #FathersDay
Read My Letter ➡️ Father’s Day - A Letter To An Absent Father | Mental Health Path
#FathersDay #neglect #absentfather #MentalHealth #Parents #Addiction #Trauma #Youdonthavetocelebratefathersday #Healing #Anxiety #Breathe #Awareness
Father’s Day…. Very difficult for me. My father was around when I was little, I just wished he wasn’t. He wasn’t good for any of us least of all myself. I still carry all the trauma from my early years from him, though it weighs me down less and less due to some heavy counseling. Now here it is Father’s Day and I have to follow tradition and get him a card? Haha. Let’s see here, “you’re the best dad…” Nope. “I’m so glad to have you in my corner…” Not even close. “You’ve always been there for me…” I don’t think so… Don’t they have any cards for those of us who had crappy dads? Something that just says Happy Fathers Day and that’s it?
I guess not.
So I’ll settle for my fall back and just text him, though he forgot my birthday so maybe I won’t.
I hate any of these decisions regarding my dad… why does this day still have to hurt?
How do I put into words what it is that I am feeling right now? I am confused and wishing I could be just neutral.
I went shopping a little while ago, and on my way home my husband called me. He told me I should not have went shopping and spent money. I bought him some things for father's day and when I mentioned I got him some things, he became upset. It is because I don't have a job. He was upset with me about us having one income and going shopping.
He told me to not put up roadblocks into me finding a job, or doing what it is that I want to do. Professionalism is not something that comes easy for me, and with my mental health issues it's harder than that of a person without them. It is not an excuse to stay where I am, but it does not make it as easy as someone else's level of difficulty. I know everyone experiences difficulties. I swear it will be OK. I just have to find something that I love to do and go for it.
Today is a day of mixed emotions. It's driving me nuts... But it's something that I have to deal with. I am hoping for a better tomorrow since today is a Mix of a Mess and a Blessing.
Take Care.
#Love #Trying #iamhere #sad #happy #MixedMood #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #jobless #lonely #notalone #up &Down #PanicAttack #PanicDisorder #Crazy #Wild #calm #confused #shoppingaddiction #Mourning #grieving #Grief #FathersDay #dowhatyoulove #lovewhatyoudo #Loveislove #PrideMonth #Trying #doing
Join Mighty founder Mike chat about his role as a father and a caregiver in honor of Father's Day: bit.ly/3gySr0F
Later, unwind and relax with your favorite art, beverage and other Mighties: bit.ly/34pxM9u
#MightyEvents #Caregiving #Caregivers #Father #FathersDay #colorandchat
Many people with complicated parent relationships/situations struggle, feeling obligated, judged and pressured to get cards for parents during celebratory occasions.
I feel that society attempts to make adult children/children and survivors of abuse
feel like we have to forgive and give folx that harmed us another chance which is FALSE.
NOT forgiving someone, DOES NOT impede individuals from healing. Healing is the process towards working on the PTSD, anxiety, depression and anger etc.
You are ALLOWED to have boundaries and exclude individuals out of your life that harmed you, gaslights you, attempts to manipulate you or take advantage of you. Regardless of if the person[s] is a family member.
I do have a suggestion regarding cards,
if warm, mushy manufactured cards are
NOT the relationship/situation with your parent[s]. Purchase blank cards. I have several packs of blank cards with designs I like that can be used for neutral occasions.
I wrote a poem in the inside of blank cards for my mama and stepdad. My biological father, I’m not in a place to give him a card, call or text him for Father’s Day. #Survivors #Abuse #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #Parents #manipulation #dysfunctional #Healing #boundaries #FathersDay #MothersDay #CelebratoryOccasions
I really do, and I always have. My father... This lying, cowardly, weasel-like human being, if I can even call him that, is still affecting my life. Even though neither me nor the rest of my family have seen him in years.
He's done a number on my family's mental health and made himself the king. He was a sexist traditionalist who expected to be waited on hand and foot, despite him not having a job and leeching off his wife. And THEN, he expected more appreciation because, without him, I wouldn't exist. He got real mad when I told him that I never asked for that, but I will die on that hill.
He ruined three perfectly good women and now we have trust issues when it comes to men. Thanks, DAD! Freaking thank you. So yeah, if you are a dad, and a GOOD one at that, I wish you all an early Happy Father's Day, and may the love be shared throughout your family.
My dad apparently adored me as a child. But as I got older and became a little bit of a brat (as most kids do) I became more of a nuisance. I was punished. Left alone. Made to do to bed without supper. And generally things like that.
All this on top of the anger my father felt to my mother. Who always tried to keep the peace. It was difficult living with a man with a temper, insecurities, lack of motivation, and general negativity. Did he have any mental health issues? Maybe. But he never considered speaking with a doctor. Instead he took out his anger on us.
With age and time I know now that not all dads are awful. Some dads are fun, loving, caring, silly, aand real dads. I just didnt get that.
But I hope those who have great dads get and give all the love the can. #FathersDay
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