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So I tried to unscrew a lightbulb on Sunday and it broke in my hand. Went to a&e and they tried everything but couldn’t get one bit of glass out. Have an appointment in the morning to see plastics dept. to get it out (they didn’t say how but I feel it’s gonna suck). Finally got to sleep on two tramadol only for my (lovely, now feeling guilty) partner to roll onto my hand in his sleep. Now wide awake and in pain but can’t take another for hours. I am not in a good mood. #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Anxiety #Hospitals #Glass #Injury #hands #Pain #HypermobileTypeEDS #HEDS #tramadol #PainKillers #Sleep #Insomnia #PlasticSurgery


Feeling guilty for being mad at doctors.

So everyone is going on and on about how fantastic doctors are right now and usually I agree. I clap for them on Thursday. My partner is a biomedical scientist for the NHS so I appreciate everyone who works there. Especially now. But today I am so bloody angry at them all. I realise they aren’t all awful but two in two days just makes me mad at them all!
First the dermatologist I was referred to doesn’t have my medical notes and before even seeing the suspicious mole, tells me it’s fine and I shouldn’t have seen a doctor. Says I “would know if it was cancerous”. And then says keep an eye on it but it getting bigger and suddenly having two colours isn’t a reason to see a doctor.

Then I ring the GP surgery today to get another tramadol prescription and to discuss contraception. First I face the Spanish Inquisition about the tramadol which I expected. He finally gives in and prescribed it (I’ve literally been having it for 3 years and just don’t have it on repeat because I don’t take it often enough). Then I move on to contraception which I didn’t anticipate as a problem. Instead of having the contraception injection I should have had two weeks ago, they put me on the pill due to the virus. I totally understood why they wanted me to try the pill so I agreed and they PROMISED that I could have the injection if, after two weeks, the pill wasn’t helping my pain levels (the injection does) or there was any side effects I didn’t like, they would just let me have the injection as extenuating circumstances. So it’s been two weeks and my pain is worse, as well as the pill is really affecting my mental health. It makes me feel like I haven’t taken my anti depressants, has me crying all the time about everything (happy and sad) and makes me suicidal. I had to be signed off work due to depression for a while last year and had CBT for it 6 months ago. Been on these antidepressants for nearly a year and was on others for 3 years prior. Doctor says he disagrees with the other doctor and that I should be on the pill until roughly July when they open back up properly. Said it was only for people who really need it and I don’t. Said to try paracetamol for the pain and that sometimes hormonal contraception makes you feel sad for a while. Are you kidding me?

So thanks to docs for all they do but my god are some of them awful at their jobs. Thank you for risking your life but could you not risk mine too?

Gonna go cry in bed worth my guilt.
#Doctor #dermatologist #GP #Depression #Ehlers -danlos #SuicidalThoughts #contraception #tramadol #Pain #Anxiety #Guilt #Cancer #Moles #NHS #cry


I am really struggling right now...

I am writing this from my bed where I've been since 6pm. It feels like my body is burning from the inside out. My anxiety is through the roof and I just don't know how to keep going. The coronavirus pandemic has knocked me back so hard. The news coverage, everything around me slowly shutting down and I'I'm becoming more isolated by the minute.

Social media is either jokes or dread and I can't cope with either. I've recently been reducing my Tramadol usage in the hopes to come off it but I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like all my progress and hard work is coming undone. I guess I'm writing this to say if you feel the same, you're not alone and my thoughts are with you all ❤

#Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #BackPain #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicPain #tramadol #COVID19 #CoronaVirus #Anxiety #youarenotalone



Feeling very uncomfortable lately. Nothing feels quite right, everything is a bit too scratchy or heavy or painful. Usual methods like heat cream, hot water bottles, tramadol, normal meds, pillows, bra less ness etc not working. I’ve ordered some more CBD capsules to try. It’s not even like I’m in more pain than normal, everything is just... uncomfortable. urgh. #Uncomfortable #Painrelief #Pain #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #Depression #Insomnia #Sleep #CBD #tramadol #Advice #Anyadvicehelps

1 comment

#tramadol #Clonazepam #Fibro #anger #suicidalthinking #Anxiety

I took tramadol 50mg around noon. about six-forty pm I took a klonopin 25 mg

I’m struggling trrribly with anger issues
I’m on leave from work - no pay
when I’m home I can’t get rest because of crappy neighbors above stomping on me
I’m lashing out at everyone - in a fibro flare

normally I wouldn’t have taken the klonopin or at least so close but I got really really angry - at another person. i hate myself more bc of that. can’t control my anger or temper

also just got off a few days of Amitriptyline - I couldn’t continue - wiped me out and I thought also was making me moody but pharmacist said that wouldn’t be so 🙄
anyone with anything to say- please. I’m struggle so bad and and cursing everyone and myself - I’m so incredibly ugly rn. and it only makes all the pain and other symptoms worse. thanks for reading. #Selfhate #amitriptyline #anger #Rage #ChronicIllness #howdoyousaveyourself


A pain too much

I’ve coped with chronic pain for most of my life and to be honest I don’t know how much longer I can go on. It’s eating away at me now and I’m spending my life in tears, in fear of what my life will be like in 5+ years. My doctor doesn’t get it, I don’t get it myself, my muscles spasm up deep in my spine locking the vertebrae up so any movement then causes more spasm, my neck muscles so weak that anything longer than 2 hours in an upright position causes severe pain and you got it, spasms! I had a lumber spinal fusion which alleviated the majority of my low back spasm but still get them around my hips and down my thighs. But this shoulder pain has been a swerve ball, the intense agony that makes me puke, and then as I pin it to my side just the tension of it being there, this I cannot deal with! Has thrown me into a deep depression and a feeling that if this is what the rest of my life is going to be about then I’m clocking out early. #Baclofen #tramadol #chronic pain # depression

1 reaction 2 comments

Painkillers#tramadol #CRPS #ChronicPain

Opioid addiction...... watched a programme about this and sat there crying. As I realised I’m a prescription drug addict.

I’m in constant pain as are all of us with this affliction and we rely on Dr’s........ never thought I’d end up taking all these tablets then on top of shitty everyday life have to try and come off them 😱😫☹️