addiction recovery

When I look back on past struggles with the insight I have now, it’s so easy to slip into regret or self-criticism. But I remind myself that growth is a journey, and part of that journey means forgiving the mistakes or choices I made before I knew what I know now. Embracing this perspective helps me let go of guilt, ease anxiety, and build resilience. It lets me learn from my past without letting it dictate my present. In a way, it’s become my pathway to healthier self-acceptance and real forward momentum.

#MentalHealth #ADHD #Anxiety #Depression #neurodiversity #Addiction #AddictionRecovery

"General population surveys have documented that approximately 75% of individuals with a substance use disorder have experienced trauma at some point in their lives."
-- PubMed Central, National Library of Medicine.

Time and time again, I see comments from people online saying things like:

* People with addictions have no-one to blame but themselves.
* Addiction is a lifestyle choice.
* Addiction only happens to certain kinds of people.
* People with addiction are all criminals.
* People with addiction need tough love. Helping them just enables drug use.
* Addiction medications are just replacing one addiction with another.
* People with addiction are hopeless.
... and on and on it goes.

Statistics show that the vast majority of people with addictions are doing it to self-medicate. Some things, such as some types of illicit drugs, have the additional side effect of feeling good while they're being taken, but my argument is that people don't take them primarily for that reason.

They take them to dull/block out emotional and/or physical pain.

[Aside: I, until 2.5 months ago, used to do the same thing with nicotine, be it smoking and/or vaping. Every time I felt stressed or anxious, I craved nicotine. My body screamed for it. And I would find myself huddled somewhere away from everyone else, puffing away, because smokers are considered pariahs these days.]

Not every form of emotional pain is linked to trauma, but every traumatic backstory leads to emotional pain. It's perfectly understandable to want to kill that pain with whatever you can get your hands on, whatever works. Let's face it; Mindfulness really doesn't help with genuine distress, it helps with mild symptoms.

Tearing into people with addictions helps no-one - *especially* not the person with the addiction. It makes them feel worse than they already do. Don't people realise that the person with the addiction already *knows* they're addicted, and likely wish they weren't?

With seeking help for addictions comes the realisation and reality that once you kick the habit, the feelings you were trying to kill will come flooding back. Often it feels like they come back with a vengeance, to make up lost time, as it were. Quitting an addiction is downright heroic, because you have to face all your inner demons.

That's why addiction centres usually have 28-day programs, full of group and 1:1 therapy sessions. It takes approximately a week for the drugs to leave a person's system (the detox process is usually brutal in and of itself), then they need time and help afterwards. They also need to be among people going through a similar process, for inspiration and support.

[Aside: For anyone interested in the topic of addiction centres, I recommend the movie '28 Days' (not to be mistaken for '28 Days Later', a *very* different genre of movie.) It's a comedy, but does go quite deep into the more serious aspects of addiction. You can rent it through the Google TV or YouTube apps; it used to be available upon Netflix, but they've since removed it.]

Have you noticed the language I have been very careful in using for identification, yet? At no point have I used the word 'addicts'; I have always used the term 'people with addictions'. That is deliberate, as people are not natural addicts. They have addictions. I'm not sure if I believe in the so-called 'addictive gene' theory. I suspect I lean more into the no camp, as I believe the main cause of addiction is trauma, not genetics. That doesn't mean, however, that the two can't be at play, simultaneously. I am open to being wrong.

So the next time you see a person with an addiction, be it out on the street, in a psych ward, or even just looking into your bathroom mirror, think about what might have brought them to that point in their lives, and seek for some compassion and sympathy within yourself. If you're walking, or have walked the addiction path before, you can also try some empathy. It costs nothing, but means everything.

No-one chooses for their life to feel out of their control. They don't choose the tragedies in their past. They don't choose addiction.

#MentalHealth #Addiction #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #SubstanceUseDisorders #PTSD #Trauma #compassion #Sympathy #Empathy #AddictionRecovery #Recovery

Last week I didn't have enough money to buy my vraylar for my bipolar. Of course I am doing amazing and figured maybe I could get away without taking it. Red flag #1 ! I recently got divorced from a narcissist of 26 years and I got on Medicare that disability offered me. My meds ended being 663.00!! I wasn't going to pay for that amount! So I went off and boy all those dreams and goals I have went out the window. I started to not shower, red flag #2 , and not eat, red flag #3 and I started to act impulsive and act out. I'm in recovery so if my mental health is not in check then my recovery is gone too. I was scared and afraid. So I decided to trust my God of my understanding. I did end up paying for my meds and they are working on trying to lower the price.
Today, I am back to myself again. I am stable and back to those amazing dreams and goals that I once had.
I can't say that something like this won't happen again to me. When I feel good I don't want to take my meds. I hope this scare will make me realize that not taking your meds on a daily basis will make me sick and I love my life today. I matter. I might have mental health along with my addiction, however I am strong, independent working woman today and thats something only I can't take away!

Just a reminder that we can do hard things when we put our minds too it. Today is my 2nd day at work. I work in an outpatient as a Peer Advocate. I get to give back to others that are fighting their addictions. Today my mental health is alittle off. Not used to getting up to get ready for work. I have been on disability for 7 years now. So working full time is a miracle in itself. I decided I didn't want my disability to hinder my life anymore and today I am proving that! Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

I wanted to see what other peoples thoughts are on this topic. I know for myself the two categories go hand in hand. I was in a 26 year marriage with my narcissist husband. I found myself using to numb the misery I was in. Now I'm not using this as an excuse. I definitely am accountable for my actions today and noone put a drug in my system except for myself. However, I do know using numbed the fear of the inevitable, divorce. I knew that I deserved better, but I didn't know how to find better. I also didn't want to believe this man that says he loves me could treat me this way.
After realizing that this marriage was not working, I decided to get help for myself so I could become stronger and more independent.
I came into recovery in May of 2020. Now I did have a relapse the first time I tried to leave. I currently have over 2 years back. That relapse made me realize that my ex was my trigger and I had to leave if I were to ever get better. So I worked my ass off. Took domestic violence classes, joined trauma therapy, learned all I could about narcissism, and got into a 12 step fellowship. I knew I needed support from others that have gone through this.
Here I am today. I still feel like I'm having withdrawals from leaving my marriage 6 months ago. I find myself still reaching out to him, helping him, and asking for his help or even advice. I do know today I have to be patient with myself. I have to acknowledge my feelings and emotions. Today I am kinder and more caring towards myself. I am realizing that I survived and came out on the other side happier, more resilient, and definitely more accepting.

I started my new job yesterday and I was super excited and nervous but something was off. I couldn't figure it out until I was driving home and the tears came pouring out. I realized for 26 years I told my narcissist husband everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I search for some type of approval from him still. What I just couldn't comprehend is after 6 months of moving out and learning to move on and making boundaries I still wanted to contact him. It's frustrating and shameful. I feel shame because he hurt me physically, emotionally, verbally, and spiritually. Why would I want to go back? I start thinking what's wrong with me? Then I have to stop, and breathe. I have to remember why I left. I have overcome addiction because it was easier to numb my misery with him with a substance than to face the fact that our marriage was over. It took 10 years to get to were I am today. I never gave up on me. So why am I gonna give up now? I decided to make a list of good qualities and why I have gratitude. What a difference it made! I am so blessed to be able to look back on my life 6 months ago. I was a shell of a person. I had to seek approval from everyone because it was a learned behavior with my ex. I was afraid to do anything that he wouldn't be happy with.
Today, I don't live like this. I am learning to be self sufficient. I am learning to be loving and caring to myself. I have made a life outside the abuse and I truly love it. I smile today more than I have in years. I do things that I never thought I could ever do. I am starting a new job as a Peer Advocate with a huge company. My life is just starting and it's getting better day by day. I must remember to love myself more. Be easy on myself more and remember healing takes time. Be patient!