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Bone Scan Day #ChronicPain #Backinjury #BackPain #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder

Felt a little defeated today, had to get another PET scan with Radioactive dye. Since my 6th surgery in April, I’ve had swelling in my back and increased bone & breakthrough pain. We are checking for stress fractures from my last surgery.
I didn’t know that 6.5 years after my injury & accident, I would still be searching just an ounce of pain relief😔I’m on a waiting list for a new type of stem cell procedure in my disc.
It just feels hard…
I want to be happy, outgoing, dating, working, getting married, having a social life, experience life’s joys, become a mom, I’m already a fur mom♥️I just don’t have the energy, the pain barely allows me to get through simple tasks each day. How do you make energy allowance for social activities when your symptoms are at an all time high?

For now, I’m going to keep doing whatever I can to find that magic thing that helps reduce my pain. Because I still feel a glimmer of hope that it’s out there 🪄✨

#BackPain #Backinjury #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder #AnkylosingSpondylitis #Intractablepain #Anxiety #SpinalFusion #sacroilitis

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What now?

I had finally got to the point where I thought my chronic pain was somewhat stable. Of course, life likes to throw a spanner in the works.

On Tuesday, my housemates wouldn’t take the bin out. It has to be taken down some stairs, and I had told them before I really shouldn’t be taking it down. Unfortunately, we got to late at night and nobody still has taken it out and the only person still up refused. So I took it out.

Bad decision. My body gave in right near the end, and the bin fell on top of me. At the time, the pain wasn’t too bad. But the next morning, I woke up and couldn’t move, not even to grab painkillers. And I’ve woken up every day since then with restrictions on my movement. It always gets better by the afternoon/ evening to the point where I can move pretty much normally (not without pain, but when you live w/ chronic pain you’re used to it) just with a bit of a limp.

And that stayed stable. Until tonight where I’m getting pain. It hurts to breathe, to bend down, to walk. But it’s not taking-painkillers-time pain (though I’ve taken some for my cold symptoms). It’s aching and slightly-painful pain. And I’m questioning- what’s the plan now? Because this was always something I was afraid of and I never planned for it.

The joys of living with chronic pain/ permanent injuries.

#ChronicPain #vertebrae #Injury #BackPain #Backinjury #chronicpainlife

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Fantasy Island

I did this sketch last week, does anyone remember the old tv show, Fantasy Island? Mr. Roark is a favorite of mine, especially since the actor Ricardo Montelban, persevered through a back injury. 💙 Anyhoo, I've been watching shows from my childhood for anxiety relief. Hehe. Off to my 1st neurologist appointment of the week! Hoping everyone has as good a day as they can. 🦋 #Backinjury #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #AnkylosingSpondylitis #BackPain #neckpain #SpinalStenosis #Art #ArtTherapy

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2014, 9 years ago I fell down a set of stairs and injured my back. For 9 years, I tried to get the help. I am so angry and so empty. I have tried everything. After fighting with every doctor, a recent MRI has shown that I have a herniated disc at the L5 S1 and it's impinging on a nerve root which also causing pain into my tailbone, right hip, down my leg & all the way to my ankle. My thighs go numb with a burning sensation. 9 years! I am now waiting to hear from a specialist. However how long will this take? A year? I'm sick of waiting and watching my life pass me by. I'm 48 years old. This has caused so much pain for me mentally. I've gained weight from pills & not being able to walk. I walk with a cane for 3 minutes at a time. Depression, anxiety, sleep apnea from weight gain, financial difficulties, my relationship is troubled, no social life, chronic pain and no hope. Emotions are so low. I think: what's the point of living? I don't even see a light of hope. I feel empty. 😪 #Emptiness , #Backinjury , #Pain ,

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Poppys 1st Birthday👑🎉🤍 #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #BackPain #ChronicFatigue

I hope everyone is having an ok weekend and are all staying safe and rest 🤍 Wanted to share my sweet girl Poppy’s first birthday with you all 🥳 it was definitely the distraction I needed and she loved her new play tent!! I took a few months off from my back procedures and dr appts which I really needed… I recently started back up again and was told I need a 6th back surgery as certain things have severely worsened. However, I’m going to be trying some other things first including another injection and another outpatient procedure. Lots to start back up again but my pain is too severe to ignore any longer. I had the best time making my Poppy girl smile and have a great birthday 👑🤍Sending lots of love and positive energy to you all!!! #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #BackPain #Backinjury #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder #sciatica #Anxiety #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #ChronicFatigue

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Piglet knows💖 #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder #BackPain

Wanted to share this beautiful quote with you all! It’s been a while since I’ve posted but always thinking about you all often. Hoping everyone is doing the best they can!! Sending lots of love 💖 #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder #BackPain #Backinjury


3 month-postpartum

3 month-postpartum feeling lonely... I would like a break but I also don't want to leave my baby. I want to cry but I don't cry, I can't. I would like to disappear for a little bit and forget about responsabilitie. I just feel like I have to do my best not matter what... even if I don't have time for myself. Because my baby is all what matters. #Depression #Loneliness #postpartum #Backinjury

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Procedure update: Excruciating❌ #BackPain #ChronicPain #SacroilliacJointPain #sciatica #spinefracture #Backinjury #Chronicpainwarrior

Thank you so much for everyone who wished me well and sent their love for my back procedure today 🤍🙏🏼 I hope this day has found you as well as possible. I feel so lucky to have so much amazing support and a soft, safe place to land ❤️you all are such a blessing.

Most of us have been on a very long road with our health/illness/pain journeys and can handle a lot. I’ve had 5 spinal fusion/si joint surgeries and today was my 31st outpatient procedure. I was not nervous, anxious or scared for this today. I was quite hopeful and eager for good results.

I can say that aside from my fusion surgeries, this was THE most painful injection/outpatient procedure I’ve ever had‼️I was wailing, flailing, bawling and asked for more sedation (didn’t get it) because felt like complete torture and agonizing pain ❌ after it was done the pain kicked up over a ten (I almost never use a ten) and at this point I was panicked and engulfed by this pain.😢

They left me with a caprisun juice and walked away, couldn’t get anyone to address what was happening. I texted my mom and she contacted the office manager. Then I did get a small IV of a pain med but it didn’t touch the pain, it was that bad. I asked to go home, in the car I had to use my rescue meds and it still didn’t help the pain.

I’m icing and now in bed snuggling with my Poppy girl 🐕I can only pray this result means the dr is in the right place. I remain hopeful but more uneasy about his next treatment plan. I need a long term solution… I can’t keep getting these painful injections with no pain relief. I will recouperate and recalibrate and come up with my next game plan✊🏼I’ve come too far to stop now.

My heart goes out to everyone struggling today or feeling frustrated and exhausted. We’re all in this together ❤️🙏🏼 Thanks so much for listening my mighty friends 🤍 #ChronicPain #BackPain #sciatica #SacroilliacJointPain #spinefracture #FailedBackSurgery #Anxiety #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder

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Let whatever you do today be enough✨ #ChronicPain #BackPain #ChronicIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #Anxiety

Just wanted to remind you that you’ve been through a lot and I’m proud of you! Of how you all keep fighting for your self and your health. Whatever you can do today is enough. You’re enough!! I’m so grateful to this community of special people who make me feel so supported and uplifted ✨💫

Also my Poppy girl 🐕says hi! She’s 5 months old now, will post a new pic soon of us ❤️ Still waiting for my #RadiofrequencyAblation to help my #BackPain but right now it’s a bit brutal🙅🏼‍♀️
Thank you for checking in with me🤍

Hang in there everyone, I know I will be doing my best 🙌🏼🙏🏼 #RheumatoidArthritis #MastCellActivationDisorder #ChronicMigraines #Insomnia #Anxiety #Backinjury #sciatica #DegenerativeDiscDisease #RaynaudsPhenomenon #SacroilliacJointPain #SpinalFusion

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Procedure Day, again 🤷🏼‍♀️ #ChronicPain #BackPain #sciatica #ChronicIllness #MightyPets

Today was another outpatient procedure for my back, number 4 for this year and the last one of 2020 wahooo!!! This time my mom and I brought miss Poppy girl 🐕 with us, so I could see her as soon as I was brought out! 😇 My amazing mama kept her busy for 2.5 hours. Of course I had pain during/after which I expect 70% of the time with these procedures. But my tears turned to smiles as I showed the nurses my little pearl wearing girl!! We matched with pink jackets today 💕 She was such a good girl and loved all the attention she was getting!
I’m hoping I get some relief from this one, my awesome anesthesiologist called me while I was eating dinner to check on me, he’s the best! Sending everyone lots of strength and love this week, Poppy and I are thinking of you all!💕🙏🏼✨😇 #ChronicPain #BackPain #RheumatoidArthritis #ChronicIllness #Anxiety #MastCellActivationDisorder #Migraines #Backinjury possible #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Insomnia
#sciatica #sacroiliacjointdysfunction #SpinalStenosis #MightyPets