eyepain

Very uncomfortable. My lumbar and right hip feel like roadkill. I feel hungry but I've eaten twice in the last 2 hours. I really don't feel good at all. I desperately want Biggby coffee and a bragel sandwich. It's so yummy.
I'm so sick of always being sick and in pain. I feel like I'm just a waste of time but Pauley loves me so maybe she sees something good in me.
I think tonight I might want to watch the first episode of One Piece. The clips I keep seeing on reels are really well done. And depending on how we liked it, we can either keep watching more episodes or we can watch more episodes of young Sheldon. We binged it a few weeks ago. Pauley really enjoyed it.
My big important appointment with my strabismus surgeon is one week from tomorrow. I'm very anxious. When I told her about the pain, she got very concerned. I get very sharp stabby pain in my eye sockets when I get a migraine. And my eyes just get increasingly more painful. I had called the office to talk to someone about scheduling an appointment due to the horrible pain. What I didn't expect was my doctor calling me back herself. She's a good doctor.
She immediately said I need to come in and see her. She said I was scheduled for July but we can't wait that long. She's more concerned than I expected.
****************Pause for phone call****************
My mom called me when she was done with dinner. We talked for maybe 10 minutes. I told her about how busy next week is going to be. I was gonna tell her about the groceries I'm ordering tonight but she had another call coming through. I hate how she treats me like a dirty little secret.
After 12 years of not talking, 3 years ago, I finally got in touch with my uncle and I texted him to tell him I'm trans and his response made me cry. He said Grandpa would be very proud of his grandson. And he called me Nox. He was my idol growing up. I wanted to grow up to be just like him. But what kinda miffs me is the fact my uncle didn't know I'm trans. My mom doesn't tell anyone about me but she tells me everything about my sisters and other family.
I want a cookie.
#Strabismus #eyepain #notadirtylittlesecret

My eyes and face are not happy with me right now, but that’s to be expected since I’m still recovering from my eye surgery Wednesday.
#iihmemes #eyepressure #Pressure #eyepain #IIH #IdiopathicIntracranialHypertension

I was considering using the nasal spray past the 2 weeks but then a side effect that happened before happened again so I didn’t bother. Woke up a few times last night though, and struggled to sleep. Doctors appointment next week.

Today my eyes have been causing the issues though. Things were alright up until nighttime, when they are in a lot of pain.

I ironically bought new eye drops today, which have so far proven to be next to useless. Gave me less than half an hour of partial relief. Did two “doses” in 2 hours, and ended up using my old ones which were much better but still not 100% effective, so I know my eyes are worse than normal.

I got different eye drops from the last ones because they were slightly cheaper and had a longer usage on them (6 months vs 3 months), but I wish I had just got the normal ones.

I wonder if the sudden increase in pain is a side effect of the increase in my medication, or perhaps a delayed side effect to the decongestants I was on (I searched online for reasons why it may be worse in hopes of having some sort of idea).

The thing that does suck is that because my eyes burn when using eye drops with preservatives in, my selection of eye drops is narrowly reduced and all are expensive! So my hope of trying to essentially half the cost was costly and I can’t decide whether to keep trying with them or just buying some more again.

Oh in other news, I’ve been in pain with my ear again and it has the same sensation as it did just before my ear infection so I’m a bit “uhhh” about that, just hoping it’s the cold/bug I’m coming down with (yes, despite wearing a mask all the time I still managed to get one apparnetly so I feel a little rough).

Just another day in my life though. How is everyone else?

#ChronicPain #eyepain #allergy #Allergies #SideEffects #Pain #Memes #Meme

I haven’t slept in three days, and I’ve been a mess with my palpitations and sweats and I feel like I’m absolutely burning more than usual. My propanol isn’t really working. (I don’t have a POTS diagnosis, but I figured some of people with dysautonomia have these symptoms, exacerbated when extrenuating circumstances happen. ) Resting heart rate of around 120, frightening, I’ve had worse, but it’s so stressful.
I can barely take a deep breath. I feel so lost. I just want an answer. I’m scared all the time for my livelihood. I’m nineteen and I haven’t even seen anything, experienced anything. Yet I feel sick to the point where I can’t tell what’s next. Plus, having a family and doctors who gave up on tests and just said “oh, probably anxiety”, makes me insane. I feel deep inside a sense of horrible wrongness, yet everyone just tells me it’s my head? It’s been two years since moderate symptom onset, and I’ve been through more pain and symptoms than I’d ever like. I’m glad someone can hear me here, that at least my story will be solidified somewhere and someone might understand.
#PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Dysautonomia #Undiagnosed #LymeDisease #Lupus #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #UndiagnosedIllness #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Vent #Grief #Trauma #Tachycardia #Burningfeeling #Tremors #Stress #Musclepain #ChronicHeadaches #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicIllnessEDS #eyepain #ChronicDailyHeadache

[DISCLAIMER: I only use tags only so many people can see my thoughts, musings, as this blog is for research and therapeutic venting purposes on my undiagnosed issues. I DO NOT self diagnose, and if you would like me to remove a tag, please inform me via private message. Have a good day!]