LateNightThoughts

First post, new to the app. Have heard about it before but never explored. However I found myself in a really REALLY lonely place tonight. You know the one that makes you start thinking "why am i here?", "would anyone even miss me?", "I'm just a burden". You get the point. Spining down that dark, dark tunnel that is incredibly hard to crawl out of.

Life has been extra tough and extra lonely lately and a fight with my partner just left me feeling even more damaged and alone. So I thought, why not try to reach out to others? Ppl who get it and probably feel the same at times. I'm in between meds, because I was in between insurance and now I need the new insurance to approve the new meds...and well, you know how that goes. So I'll likely be without the meds I need even longer only making all these feelings worse, because pain and inability to function leads to depression.

The thing my partner said tonight at some point that really got me in the feelz was "thats your doctors job" (about the insurance med approval) I was just blown away because after 3 years of watching this battle, he truly thinks it just the docs job! Like I just sit here while the doc and insurace company have a nice chat about my health and treatment. IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE!

Just a nother slap in the face of how truly lonely this journey is. There's a lot more things that happened in the last couple weeks to get me here, obviously. But tonight, that gut punch comment lead me to this place. A place I guess I'm just hoping I can open up, others will take the time to read my insane rants and maybe tell me I'm not alone, even if it feels like it.

If you read this to this point, bless you friend. I'm a wild ride of mixed thoughts and appreciate others like me. Lets be friends. 🥰

#LateNightThoughts #onmymind #lonely #depressionhole #tryingtoovercome

I am finding it difficult tonight. I had my therapy session today. During the session i tried explaining my therapist (whom i love the most in this world apart from my family) what was troubling me during the course of the week. But unfortunately i couldn't explain anything other than saying "i found it difficult" and i don't think i helped her enough so that she could understand my problem. She is the best therapist anyone could ever ask for and i feel like i let her down. I even got angry at her and started pushing her away (BPD traits were so apparent).

So when thinking of what happened i don't actually understand what is going on in my mind. I dunno how to explain it in words what's troubling me. All i know is that i get thoughts and feelings that makes it impossible for me to hold on. Maybe its the flashbacks.. Maybe its my past.. Maybe its the way i treat my wonderful family.. Maybe i am overwhelmed with my lesson plans. But No! I feel like i am missing something. I dunno what that is.. I don't know what's bothering and troubling me. But i know that it is eating me alive. The pain induced, the worry that comes along with it cannot be undone. My chest hurts and head aches when i get these thoughts.. Can any one relate? If so please let me know 🙏 ♥ #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #Depression #Insomnia #LateNightThoughts #Cananyonerelate #Flashbacks

Hello, everyone.

This community really caught my eye. My mental health has taken the down road little by little for months now so I'm always alert for any new signs. Anxiety at night is something new to me. It happened many times at the beginning of Covid and while I thought it was fairly normal it made me think about other anxious moments in the past and wondered if this is truly something I'm struggling with.

Lately, there have been nights were I would wake up or others I couldn't stop the thoughts and therefore, didn't sleep. One time I had so many intrusive thoughts about me or my parents or even a friend dying (plus the thought that she wouldn't deserve it and maybe it should be me). I've had similar nights in the past too but this time was covid, the vaccine or something else while in the past it could be a burglary for example. Yesterday night I woke up at some point and I couldn't slow down my breathing. Possibly I dream? Certainly not a nightmare because I usually remember those. I really didn't know the reason so I just used the lavender oil bottle I keep by my side because the smell helps me relax.

So, yeah. I'm still investigating the symptoms. I'm trying not to think too much about it and see how it goes but some experiences are there. I'm pretty sure I've had some anxiety attacks during the last months but I don't want to diagnose myself so I hope The Mighty will help me know a little more from People who experience this kind of things.

I'm sorry for the long post.
I wish you all the best! #Anxiety #LateNightThoughts #Undiagnosed

I am considering cutting out gluten to help my gut, any tips on how to go about doing this? Is it easy? Do you miss out on a lot of foods? Does it become expensive?

#Glutenfree #Gluten #happytummy #diet

I’m having one of those nights where everything is on my mind and it’s getting in the way of me going to sleep-no matter how tired I am. No matter how much I know I’m going to regret it and want to avoid the dreadful under eye bags. Anywho- tonight’s thoughts are that I have truly not been completely honest with anyone in my life. I’ve been full of shame and have elaborated myself, or kept the whole truth from people not to be malicious but because I was afraid. Because I didn’t feel good enough. Because I didn’t want to explain myself. Because I didn’t want them mad at me. Because I wanted them to like me. Whatever the reason was- i withheld information or stretched the truth because it sounded better than the actual truth. Friends, family, even my therapist at times (I withhold out of fear of making her feel bad). I have trouble connecting with people because I don’t fully show up. I resent others because I blame them for not making me feel comfortable enough to be open. I get angry with myself for sabotaging potential relationships. It’s a constant cycle. And I just want someone to be able to fully be vulnerable with. I want to be honest. With no shame. No fear of judgement. No second thoughts. Just freely expressing whatever whenever wherever. #honest #LateNightThoughts #Vulnerable #Shame #NoJudgment

It seems like it’s been years since I haven’t been lonely. Quarantine is only making it worse. I dont really have any friends, not really anyone to talk to. I feel isolated a lot. Right now it’s 1am and I really wish I had someone to talk to. Someone who’s actually awake and not in different time zones. Someone who could pick me up and go on a random midnight drive. Just someone. Anyone. I have zero friends where I live. The only person I hang out with is my mom (which I don’t mind because I love her), but I wish I had someone around my age who actually cared. Everyone tells me that once I start school I’ll make friends, but it’s all online. Just because I’m introverted doesn’t mean I don’t want someone to hang out with. I’m so tired of having friends who don’t care and take advantage of me. I’m so tired of feeling lonely all the damn time.
#lonely #LateNightThoughts #Friends #friendships #alone #Isolation