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Of All the Stupid Things

I know about PTSD my ex has it. I thought I was just having anxiety attacks until last Sunday. On the way home from visiting a family member (a 2 hr trip one-way in a very old car) my car radio started with a warning of a tornado in the area I was driving. On a major highway it starts raining really hard then ice and strong winds. This is nothing new for the Florida state it rains so hard you can't see the car in front. We all put our flashers on continued driving went into the eye then back into the outer bands of the tornado it was terrifying. I was shaking so when I got home I went straight to bed. I hate driving in the rain before this. It seems when I was a child I was in two car accidents with my parents and it was raining. I wasn't driving but I experienced it. Then when I moved to Florida I was in a very bad accident. I was helping in a pre-existing accident during a rainstorm. Car number one had thought she had pulled off of the highway when she was actually in the right lane The car behind her which was the car in front of me....all of a sudden the car in front of me the lights were gone in like a flick of a switch. I immediately yanked my wheel to the left just missed her by milliseconds went into the medin. Everything was in slow motion wheels car parts rolling around steam coming up from car engines people screaming. I ran to the first car the woman had no idea what was going on I told her to shut her car off and put her flashers on asked if she was okay she said yes. I went to the car that hit her which was the car in front of me and it was too young girls. They were both hurt. I was tending to the one in the driver's seat A young man came over I asked if he had a belt on and we put a tourniquet on the driver's leg. I didn't see her passenger right away she kept asking where is so and so. I remember going to that side of the car looking for the girl and then realizing that the young girl was face planted into the dashboard. By this time people had stopped. A woman tapped me on the shoulder and said I'll take care of this girl You go help the driver and I looked at her and she said I'm a nurse We just left the hospital my husband is over there he's calling for the ambulances. I remember walking around the front of the car and that's the last thing I remember except seeing bright lights and somebody yelling run run she's not going to stop. There was a car coming over the hill the woman was drunk and she wound up hitting the girls in the car again and me. I was told I went 20 ft into the air I landed in a ditch. I woke up I didn't have my shoes on or my socks I didn't I know where I was but I couldn't get up I kept trying I was terrified I was going to get eaten by an alligator. Would you believe I didn't have one broken bone I was covered in road rash though. So while I survived that and the home that I currently live in now has flooded every year. I never realized the connection between heavy rain and wind and PTSD with me until I drove through a tornado. It was an EF0 It did tear up mobile homes but it explains so much why I panic every time it starts raining hard. Most of my meditation tapes have water in them most of them I can't listen to. Like I say of all the stupid things to have PTSD too heavy rain. And I just found this out this week. #ADHD #Anxiety
# angioedema hives idiopathic# hiatal hernia #Pleurisy #raynaud syndrome #Shingles left eye #Shoulder bilateral impingement system #unstable lumbar spine #Bastrop syndrome #bone spurs #Cataracts #COPD #Costochondritis
# Fibromyalgia #Osteopenia #Osteoarthritis #Peripheral neuropathy #kyphosis # gerd# ptsd

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Why am I'm a magnet for men who want to debase or scam me financially.

I'm on my 3rd divorce we've been apart for 13+ yrs. married 24. He purchased this foreclosure home said I could fix it up and live in it. Use his benefits when he passed, he lives with his gf for 13 yrs. This past Nov. I was blindsided by divorce pprs claiming I owe him all this money, he claims he's in debt he's taken out multiple loans & credit cards he took out most of the equity in the house I'm fixing up. In our state I'm responsible for half his debts. I'm on a low fixed income .
Also I have been following the Ukraine war. Sending messages of hope praying for them. Then I get these guys pretending they are soldiers sending pics trying to romance me then asking for money. I know about scamming I don't fall for it. I feel like I have this big bulls eye target on my back. Why does me caring cause all the nasty people to show up?
#ADHD #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #Cronic Fatigue# #Osteoporosis #Osteopenia #Raynard syndrome #Peripheral neuropathy #Gout #Shingles

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These are my precious furry companions. Do you have any fur companions that are your life?

Wow this time I was able to post a picture and they're together. In foreground is Gracie 13 yo we've been together for 12 1/2 years. The black blob at the top left is Merlin 9 yo I adopted him 2 years ago. He was considered unadoptable bc he's a black cat, overweight (20) lbs & has feline asthma. He was 20 lbs when I adopted him and weights the same no matter what I try. These furry creatures are my life. Gracie is my cuddle bunny after we lost both her fursisters (within 4 months of each other) who she grew up with, she literally stayed with me for the times I just cried for days. I felt badly for her bc she would search for her sisters everytime we had a shared time like meals or nitenite treats. So I got Merlin. No background on him,he's vocal loves the sounds of kittens crying makes biscuits while trilling hated being picked up no cuddling. I Taught him to use an inhaler for his asthma attacks. He recently had mini stroke, his personality changed for the better. Now likes to cuddle, calls for Gracie when it's nitenite treats or if he sees me outside or it's 5 minutes past time to eat he meows pitifully. Thank goodness for them.
#ADHD #Anxiety #Arthritis #Fibromyalgia #Gout #Osteoporosis #Osteopenia
#congenital Kyphosis #PeripheralNeuropathy
#Bastrop Syndrome
#bone spurs
#Reynards Syndrome
#Shingles # Shoulder impingement Syndrome
#spinal stenosis #Cataracts

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Hello

One small thing would be admitting that I’m a pessimist, I’ve coped with the fact that I have many illnesses, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Once you accept the things you cannot change, it really makes a difference. #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ChronicInflammatoryDemyelinatingPolyneuropathy #Endometriosis #Osteopenia #ChronicDepression #Anxiety

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If I looked Sick...

If I looked sick, people would believe that I suffer from chronic illnesses.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t suffer from an invisible illness, because I look healthy when I’m not at all.
If I had an illness or disease that made me look like I was dying, I would receive the same respect as those who actually do look sick. I always hope to recieve the same respect as those who have visible disabilities, but I guess that’s just never going to happen.

#AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #ChronicInflammatoryDemyelinatingPolyneuropathy #Osteopenia #Asthma #Schizophrenia

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Light at the end of tunnel is a train.

Just when I thought I was getting some answers & help regarding my spine issues and my hands being swollen. All this crazy stuff with me difficulty getting doctor appointments. My new primary doctor sent me for blood work and I have some not great results. It seems my bun-creatine ratio is High+ MCHC is Low ( signs of anemia) Carbon Dioxide in blood is High- there was slight blood in urine but also noted Rare Hyaline cast in urine (indicator of kidney disease). I think I want to throw up I don't know whether I want to cry or scream in frustration and anger. Still waiting to see the rheumatologist about my swollen hands knuckles leg foot. Finish up with my nerve ablations in my lower spine. And now this. I'm sensing (feeling a panic pulse) a medical tsunami and I'm just waiting to get hit.
#ADHD
#Anxiety
#chronic pain
#Costa chondritis
#idiopathic Angioedema hives
#Fibromyalgia
#Baastrop syndrome
#Osteoarthritis
#Osteopenia
#rheumatoid Arthritis
#Peripheral Neuropathy
#raynaud 's syndrome
#spinal stenosis
#Bilateral impingement syndrome
#Pleurisy W/D
#Shingles in the left eye

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I’m Dead Inside ☠️💀👻

On the outside I look alive. On the inside I’m dead. I’m breathing but I feel lifeless. My heart feels full but I’m still craving for life. I just want to be happy. I’m tired of being depressed and angry all the time. I’m tired of being in pain. I wish I could I could just be normal and healthy, like people who honestly don’t deserve it.

#AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Depression #Anxiety #Osteopenia #ChronicInflammatoryDemyelinatingPolyneuropathy

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DETERMINED IS MY MIDDLE NAME

I posted on gaslighting and many other sites regarding my spinal issue/Dr issue. I'm going to say I was very upset about how I was treated or rather NOT treated but brushed aside. I took a deep breath after posting and barely getting any support I decided to pull back and put my energies into finding help. I'll be seeing another neurosurgeon in June getting another MRI. I've also started seeing my soft tissue therapist who is beyond medically educated and very up to date on world wide health updates in pain managment. He is currently using a new device, originally developed in Russia, then France now used all over Europe. But bc of USA crap FDA etc Big pharma would loose out, blah blah.
Anyway the FIRST time he used the device on me I gained the ability to make it to the bathroom without accidents. We're now working on my sacrum and legs. I've already gained some strength and had some pain reduction. I will continue to post my progress this should be unique. This is NOT some snake oil remedy, can you imagine what would happen to the health care industry if we could heal ourselves! I hope someone reads this seriously. # ADHD # Baastrupt syndrome #Anxiety #Fibromyaliga #Reynards syndrome #Osteoporosis #Osteopenia #spinal Stenosis #lordosis # Kyphosis #Shingles

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When the Other Shoe Drops Use the Damn It Doll.

So today I get another phone call from my grandson's Aide. When that call comes in, and I miss it, and the voice mail is only 6 seconds long my heart drops. I'm his Guardian so something has happened. The last time it was horrific, that was in December. He just celebrated his
24 th Birthday last month, his mother and I got him a upscale new TV. So today he is with other clients and staff in a van. One of the staff needed to use the facilities. As she's getting out of the van he bolts past her and into a small supermarket. He then proceeds to destroy about 1/3 of the store, and slaps a customer across the face. By this time the owner has ushered all customers out of the store closing the store. The extra staff from where he lives and the police arrive. (Now we have ppl outside trying to take pics of him) Police intervene thank God. They were in a different part of town it was not the same police that usually go to the house when he takes off or causes issues. And kudos to these three police officers who were more than kind and extended verbal and physical help in getting my grandson back into the van. My grandson was not ready to go and he was still in the state of raging psychosis. In the midst of getting him to settled down his aide she got kicked in the head so I'm praying she's all right. I am sick about this this is starting to ramp up he is on several medications including haldol. And then I have to call his mother who is in a nursing home and tell her what happened. I just feel like every ounce of energy has been sucked out of me. I'm so damn sick, myself I can barely move due to back probs. I'm so angry because there is no way to have proper consequences for this behavior because he's #mentally Challenged #Bipolar ,# Autism spectrum, #ADHD , #Hearing impaired, and also #Seizures . I think I'm going to beat the hell out of my daughters damn it doll, then take a nap.
#ADD
#Anxiety
#Baastrupt syndrome
# Bone spurs
#Bursitis
#Cataracts
#Cauda Equine Syndrome #Costochondritis
#Fibromyalgia
#hiatal Hernia
#Osteoporosis
#Osteopenia
# Peripheral Neuropathy
# Pleurisy W/D
#Raynard syndrome
#Shingles
#spinal stenosis
#Tendonitis

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