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Tendonitis and UCTD

Finally diagnosed with UCTD nearly 2 years ago after 20+ years of symptoms. I was put on plaquenil and symptoms mostly better. The aches, pains and tingling happens less often. Stress seems to be a trigger. My orthopedics diagnosed tendonitis in my left knee and now I have similar pain in my foot and ankle. At my last visit all bloodwork is normal, but is the tendnutis related? Every time something new pops up I never know if it's related and it's frustrating. Also having major digestive issues lately. #UCTD #Tendonitis #UndifferentiatedConnectiveTissueDisease

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I am so sick off toddler parenting life. I hate it. I cry every day and I can’t wait til she’s more independent.

Venting and looking for validation here not solutions. *Also would prefer if people kept their advice to themselves, and please don’t gaslight me in anyway.*

*Trigger warning: suicide ideation, sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.*

She invades my physical boundaries, which triggers memories of sexual and physical abuse. I work so hard to be a positive parent and to break the generational trauma of emotional and physical abuse from my family. I always feel like I’m falling short, but my therapist and PCP have both reassured me that I’m the best mom for my daughter and that she was meant to be parented by me, and of course I love her dearly. I just hope, pray, and meditate on that in these younger years of hers goes faster cus right now I have a hard time seeing out of this forest of turmoil, frustration, discomfort, and anger.

I also am medically complicated and severe chronic pain flares up during times of stress and with the added stress of toddler parenting, my cycling and pain has gotten so worse and more frequently. I rapid cycle every couple weeks to a month, and lately it’s been dysphoric mania for a couple/few days. I miss euphoric mania and hypo mania. I have cptsd on top of my bipolar, so I frequently have disrupted thoughts and flashbacks.

All of this is so exhausting and I know I’m not alone, and I’m gonna keep fighting the fight, but that doesn’t take away from the suckyness of my current state. I have suicidal ideation that group therapy, individual therapy, meds, diet changes, exercise, even medical marijuana hasn’t been able to shake. I am stressed to the max every second of the day unless I have time away from her while I’m at an appointment or something, but even then there’s a dark shadow around me because I know what I’m gonna have to go back to.

#BipolarDepression #Bipolar1Disorder #CPTSD #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #CentralSensitizationSyndrome #Neuropathy #OvarianCyst #adhesions #brokentailbone #Recovery #Anxiety #Depression #SexualAbuse #RapeSurvivors #CarpalTunnelSyndrome #Tendonitis #Trauma

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When the Other Shoe Drops Use the Damn It Doll.

So today I get another phone call from my grandson's Aide. When that call comes in, and I miss it, and the voice mail is only 6 seconds long my heart drops. I'm his Guardian so something has happened. The last time it was horrific, that was in December. He just celebrated his
24 th Birthday last month, his mother and I got him a upscale new TV. So today he is with other clients and staff in a van. One of the staff needed to use the facilities. As she's getting out of the van he bolts past her and into a small supermarket. He then proceeds to destroy about 1/3 of the store, and slaps a customer across the face. By this time the owner has ushered all customers out of the store closing the store. The extra staff from where he lives and the police arrive. (Now we have ppl outside trying to take pics of him) Police intervene thank God. They were in a different part of town it was not the same police that usually go to the house when he takes off or causes issues. And kudos to these three police officers who were more than kind and extended verbal and physical help in getting my grandson back into the van. My grandson was not ready to go and he was still in the state of raging psychosis. In the midst of getting him to settled down his aide she got kicked in the head so I'm praying she's all right. I am sick about this this is starting to ramp up he is on several medications including haldol. And then I have to call his mother who is in a nursing home and tell her what happened. I just feel like every ounce of energy has been sucked out of me. I'm so damn sick, myself I can barely move due to back probs. I'm so angry because there is no way to have proper consequences for this behavior because he's #mentally Challenged #Bipolar ,# Autism spectrum, #ADHD , #Hearing impaired, and also #Seizures . I think I'm going to beat the hell out of my daughters damn it doll, then take a nap.
#Baastrupt syndrome
# Bone spurs
#Cauda Equine Syndrome #Costochondritis
#hiatal Hernia
# Peripheral Neuropathy
# Pleurisy W/D
#Raynard syndrome
#spinal stenosis

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2 weeks post surgery

2 weeks post surgery from chiari malformation surgery... however, ended up having extras done due to the extent of my condition and the fact that it was progressing when it wasn’t supposed to be, it went from 5cm to 20cm outside the skull and was mutating in the space of 2 years. so had part of my skill, and spine removed and then also a small portion of my brain where it was mutating as it was causing a whole host of problems.

2 weeks after surgery and I’ll be honest each day I feel worse and worse, some days I literally feel like I am dying... anyone else felt like this after a similar surgery? I don’t know whether this is down to me having a list of other illnesses to deal with at the same time whilst recovering... or the fact that my whole right side is weakened from surgery or the fact that one of my nerves in my neck was severed which is causing extra pain down my spine and through my legs😭 again from surgery. I’m being sick all the time, can barely do anything for myself, and feel like a huge waste of space... anyone experienced anything like this?? or is this normal?

only saving grace is that I am now back in the comfort of my own home.

#ChiariMalformation #Fibromyalgia #Osteoporosis #Osteoarthritis #RheumatoidArthritis #PsoriaticArthritis #Tendonitis #ChronicPain #AF #AnkylosingSpondylitis #Spondyloarthritis #Migraine #Eczema #Asthma #Tachycardia #osteocondensansilli #PlantarFaciitis #DiabetesType2 #Depression #Anxiety #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #RapeSurvivors #BrainSurgery


Got Caffeine? - 09/27/19

Got Caffeine? (Got Coffee continuation)

Day 2

So I have switched to taking caffeine pills because following the doses in coffee is way too much work. XD

Started my day out at 6:30am (When I usually take my morning meds) with 400mg of caffeine. The pills were gross but that ain't nothing new.

It is now 11am and my swelling in my neck, hands, and ankles is less than usual. This is the intended result, to see a decline in swelling in my tendons over all.

I am still having brain fog issues today but they are mild. Feeling much more alert which is to be expected.

Caved and caught a late even though I am trying to be tracking my doses, it is important that I add this. It was a venti size from Starbucks.

The fibromyalgia pains, nerve pain, seems to be heightened. This however isn't affecting my mobility due to the lowered swelling.

Will check in again tomorrow, I stop consuming caffeine at 1pm.

(Please note this is only the 2nd day so symtom changes may be coincidental.)
#Fibromyalgia #Tendonitis #BrainFog #SelfMedicating


Got Caffeine? - 09/26/19

Got Coffee - Day 1

So I found out coffee can help control inflammation. I am doing a self implemented experament. Controled doses of coffe intake, no suger so as not to effect the results, recording everytime I take a dose and taking notes on any changes about an hour later.

This is only day one so I can not stress enough how this could be coincidental, but here is what I have noticed:

- Loss of time due to brainfog this morning has been alleviated to a point.
- hands not as swollen as yesterday. Legs still pretty bad.

#Fibromyalgia #Tendonitis #BrainFog #SelfMedicating

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So I’m not quite sure how this works. I’m new here. Looking for support and friends in Chronic pain. I posted once and no responses- help! #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #newlydiagnosed #PsoriaticArthritis #Tendonitis