Listen my child. I’m so happy you are here with me, with us! This place is magical, interesting and reliable. Almost predictable. Quite predictable when you take in the signs. Sweet child we have so many guiding forces all around us. The Sun rises and invites us to explore our Mother Home. The Moon reminds us it’s time to rest. Some of us live in the world of light and some in the world of darkness but most all are aware the other exists. We might be tempted to stick to what we know for that feels safe, conformable. There is a time for that, says the moon. We might be driven to find something we’ve never seen before. There are plenty of days for that, says the Sun. You might want to visit other worlds one day. The Ocean says, come on in let’s play. You might want to image possibilities. The Cloud says, you can imagine anything. You might want to build something. The Animals say, yes this is good. You might want to capture a moment forever. The Stars say, it is possible to endure despite time’s passing. You might wish for something to be over. The Wind says, soon enough and goodbye for now. You might want time to stand still instead. Creation will speak to you then. I say, listen Child listen.
Your Earth Mother
Sharing saved ne today. My daughter had pulled the tape that secures her oxygen to her face of for the 4th time today and was screaming the house down. I shared the experience and then my feelings with an older cousin of my partner. It helped to be validated, heard and not feel isolated.
A new friend took me for a walk here, it was so beautiful even in winter, it's a great natural swimming place but I'll wait for summer for that part of the experience! Lol
The path leads you through a beautiful valley, through the mossy woodlands, past waterfalls that come down to join the river in Chrystal clear pools. I find being in nature the best therapy.
We also visited a Holy well and got water from the spring there, it's the nicest, most refreshing water I've had in a long time, the moment I drank some my eyes cleared from fibro-fog and each time I drink some my pain levels drop like magic!!
The man that took me there and I have a bit of connection.. he is kind, grounded, we make each other laugh A Lot!
We ended up spending the night together and it was really amazing..
I've never dated an older guy before..
he is 48 and I'm 33 but I don't think that matters much, apart from the fact it's Really refreshing to date someone who has there life and head more sorted.
He was Really, Really considerate about my past trauma, he said "the more I find out about you the more it snows how strong, resilient and amazing you are to have lived through all that and are still positive!"
He also said "your trauma is something of course I'll be mindful of but I see you only as you are now in this moment"
I.e he doesn't see me as 'damaged or a victim' just as the person I am.
The way he was about everything was as refreshing to my soul as the natural spring water was for my body!
I've not been able to open up, let someone touch me for 9 months since I was raped, so this was a boundary that I wasn't sure I'd be able to cross!
but with him it didn't feel like an issue, I was totally honest with him and things just flowed..
We are going to go on adventures and hunt out more natural springs!
It's amazing to be getting to know someone who loves nature, foraging, rambling, protesting to stop animals being hunted, someone who cares about the Bigger things in life!
He even runs "for fun" most of my ex boyfriends would only run if the police were after them, were unemployable let alone employed! Lol
I'm really looking forward to more walks in places like this and getting to know him in the process!
I really easily get locked into all or nothing thinking which can result in a lot of self-condemnation. Back in March, as soon as I got on a public health insurance plan, I visited the local mental health resource centre. They said I could be eligible for group therapy, but there was a wait list and then there was also a further delay due to the pandemic. They called me in July when I had just moved, dealing with a new work schedule, struggling to balance everything - and I kept forgetting to call them back. I convinced myself that this meant I had lost out forever and it was all my fault because I had failed (once again) to follow through like a mature, responsible adult. (Sorry for the negativity - but these are the thoughts that go through my mind...)
Just now, someone from the centre called to ask if I was still interested in group! I'm feeling settled in my new apartment now, my job schedule has sorted itself out, and feeling as ready as I'll ever be for something new. It probably won't start until November, and it will be on Zoom. They will contact me by email instead of phone which will be much easier for me to manage (less anxiety).
Sooo, please pass on your tips for a good group therapy experience! I want this to be a helpful and hopeful step forward for me, but I'm definitely a bit nervous about it too.
For you, who had shared your stories here; thank you.
By reading them, it makes me realize I'm not alone. It gives words to what I usually endure in incomprehensible silence. It makes it slightly less painful.
Sometimes, I couldn't say anything, because I'm afraid any words coming out of my mouth, any comments I type might sound judgemental, or just make it worse. But I give you 'hearts', signifying ,"I hear you.", "I'm here for you."
Thank you for being here, sharing. Don't stop.
I had my first one in a while this morning- and although I've built up my arsenal for stopping them before they get too out of hand I wonder if any of the brilliant brains on here had thought or discovered anything I hadn't... What do you do when you have a panic attack and how do you unwind from it? #Foodforthought #help #Tips #sharingiscaring #Support