Suicidal Thoughts

IVE BEEN DEALING WITH CPTSD FOR 23 YEARS NOW. THE FLASHBACKS, NIGHTMARES, FIGHT OR FLIGHT, ISOLATION, ANXIETY, APATHY, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND BAKER ACTED 3 TIMES. I HAVE BEEN DOING EMDR THERAPY FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW AND THAT HAS SEEMED TO BE THE BEST FORM OF THERAPY FOR ME. BUT I STILL HAVE TIMES WHERE IM SO DEPRESSED I CANT SEEM TO GET OUT OF IT. I WORRY ABOUT MY 4 ADULT CHILDREN ALL THE TIME. ESPECIALLY ABOUT MY 27 YEAR OLD SON WHO HAS PTSD FROM BEING IN PRISON 3 YEARS. I GOT MARRIED AT 16 AND IM NOW 52 AND STILL MARRIED BUT I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR MY HUSBAND AS HOW I FEEL AFFECTS HIM. SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP....

!!TW: suicidal thoughts, depression !!

DILUTING THE DARK

You don’t beat hell.



Stealing light



I watered the void


drop by drop


till it grew something


I wouldn’t walk back into that fire;


but if you cut that rot from my bones,


I’d bleed out the person I became.


The marks aren’t scars.


They’re fractures:


where the dark forced open


my ribs to show me


how little time


this heart has left.


Is today.

After coming down from my first ever major manic episode, I received disheartening news from my employer that I was let go. At that time, I have spiraled deep myself into depression that it seems impossible to get out of. I feel extremely suicidal ever since then. I didn’t have the mental clarity at that time, but a job loss shouldn’t cost me mental health or my life. it is just silly from hindsight. After months of bed rotting , social isolating , being in mental pain and struggling with suicidal thoughts . I realized that my mental health problem has become far worse than I initially realized: my cognitive functions have severely deteriorated to the point where I can’t seem to hold any conversation with anyone. I don’t know how to connect with anyone anymore. What’s worse is that I have problems recalling words and forming coherent sentences. I don’t even know how to speak to waiters when I tried to order food and inquire about the dishes. I have lost essential and basic skills as a human. This realization has pushed me to an edge , now my suicidal thoughts are stronger than ever. How can I even survive in this society as someone with such little to none communication skills ? How can I make friends when I have nothing in my brain. My brain is just so empty that it is so sad. I am one step away from taking my own life. I truly need help on how to restore my cognitive functions . This seems like forever. I feel scared because I don’t want to put my parents through extreme emotional pain, but the pain I am feeling has outweighed any other concerns I have. I am sorry that I am selfish. But before I kms, I do wanna try getting better. Does anyone have any guidances on how I can regain my cognitive functions and my language, communication skills? Also I feel extremely extremely lonely it is horrifying. #Bipolar #Suicide #Depression

Hi, I'm here because I have been struggling with the guilt of feeling depressed and having suicidal thoughts as a mother. I feel I am selfish for having these thoughts but I can't shake the feeling. I struggle with the things that run through my mind. And a Google search landed me here. I struggle to seek help out of fear. Like it's taboo for a mother to be depressed and want to fade away despite her endless love for her children. And the irony of it all is that I feel this way because I lost both my parents (cancer) in early adulthood. So why do I struggle with these thoughts? When I feel so alone in this world without them. How could I even think of leaving them to feel this way? It's a pain and hurt I do not wish on anyone. I am at the point where I know I need help and this seemed like a good start in my journey to heal.

#MightyTogether #Depression

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How the fuck do I go back and forth between “I really don’t want to die” and genuinely fearing death even though I’m 23 years old to wondering if I should’ve just been dead already?? Is positivity and negativity within me just a constant battle? Likely very much so. 😒

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Autistic #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Trauma #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

Hi, my name is halle I'm here because i am dealing with my best friend who has a hard time with depression, severe depression, i had dignosed with it before but im better now i think, i can feel her, i can feel her suicidal thoughts but i cant do anything for her, i am limited chained , she never stops thinking about death, she tride therapy and she took her pills, but nothing helped, if you have a family member, a partner or a friend who recoverd from this please help my by telling ur story, thank u for reading to this point.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #ADHD

Hi, my name is Jenn. I'm here because I live with a rare genetic condition called pseudohypoparathyroidism type 1A which has physical, mental and emotional challenges. I live with depression and anxiety am very lonely and have suicidal thoughts. I might also have traits of ASD and ADHD. I am looking for support.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #Grief