whyme

Playing around with fonts to create stencils for tattoos #howicope #iamnotdefinedbymyillness #EasilyDistracted or #jumpseverywhere when I’m able to express my #thoughtsANDfeelings #Insomnia #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #PTSD #Depression #SocialAnxiety #PanicDisorder #Type2Diabetes #cronicmigraines #HighBloodPressure #HighColesterol #ImOnly42 #SlowlyRecoveringFromNarcissisticAbuse #LossOfFamilyMembers one after another after another. #WasTerminatedFromMyJob because of my #illness the company makes one feel #expendable #nowellnesscheck #nophonecallortext a little over a month, then #terminated via #Email #whodoesthat ? And why did my #Casemanager repeatedly tell me to have my #Psychiatrist re-do the #forms AGAIN for like the 3rd, 4th time? I am very #Disappointed at that #multimillionaire #Company prior to my #breakdown I was #harassedatwork too. I don’t understand… #whyme ?

In several darkest hours of my life, I often questioning to myself, "Why me?". I felt that "the whole universe conspired against me". Until this though crossed my mind: "I don't choose to be born in this so-called world and for me, it's including "the whole package", such as physical condition (appearance, health issue, etc), my race/ethnic, where & where I was born, physiological conditions (pattern of thinking, unstable/stable, have some "conditions" or not, etc), but one thing for sure is I can choose to respond about anything using everything that I have!". Now (thankfully) I don't ask that kind of question anymore, I just try to "adapt", try to "survive" and hopefully can live my life to the fullest on my own terms! 😊
#whyme
#ADAPT
#survivalskill

If only I had the choice but unfortunately I was born this way to a women being abused by a narcissist! I can remember being a little girl always wishing I wasn’t me, wishing I wasn’t black, wishing I had different family. Now here iam 30 years old and those thoughts haven’t chaNged much. I guess it’s true sometimes depression attacks at the beginning of life. And it’s sometimes genetic!
#whyme

And I can hear them talking to each other, sometimes about me. I’m fairly new to bipolar & voices even though I’m 62. I am always looking at our cameras outside & I swear I see these people sneaking around. We live in the country so lots of outdoor sounds, trees, animals, etc. I’m very scared of these voices because if they are not real,mthen I must be crazy or losing it. I lose sleep every night because I want them to leave or be quiet so I can sleep. And, they follow me wherever I’m staying & come out every night and they scare me because they are so real & they make noises like walking, dropping something, eating, etc. I often ask my husband if he hears these sounds too. I thought they were real people living in my houses illegally, then was positive they were ghosts or spirits & now they are supposedly just rats or possums. I actually called the police 4 times to have them get these people out of my house immediately. I am a good person & love everyone & I don’t deserve this. It’s affecting my life in a bad way. Please help me understand this so I can sleep & not be scared anymore. Thank you so much! Jeri ♥️ #intruders , #thevoicesrreal , #whyme , #wantnormllife , #assaulted , #Bipolar2 , #epileptic , #PTSD , #alwayshome , #dontgoout , #Goodlife , #gr8tfam , #wantpeace , #Mindfulness , #ydoieatcrap , #nomorehealthyfood , #noexercise , #scared , #Gettingolder