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Reach Out; Help is There

I did a brave thing and made a somewhat detailed post on Facebook about my recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder, even calling myself out for the alcohol abuse that went from 0-90 in a matter of months.

So many things could have been different for me, had I known about my bipolar. However, it's better to have been diagnosed late, than never at all.

If you read my last post about my suicide attempt, it was the catalyst that brought me to this now healing state I am in. I am being more gentle with myself now. I am working through my trauma and guilt and becoming a healthier version of myself, albeit slowly. Remember; slow and steady wins the race.

The post I made on Facebook has received so much positivity that it made my heart absolutely swell with love for my beautiful friends who are as relieved as I am to be in a place of hope and joy now, after they watched me self destruct the last two years since my brother took his own life. It's been hard navigating my grief, without understanding that the things that were putting up road block after road block were due to my bipolar.

My advice to you, my sincere advice, is to not hide yourself from your friends and family. They love you and want to understand you, they want to give their support. Mind you, I know there are those that do not understand, and perhaps it's time to cut those people off from having access to you for a while. Healthy boundaries are a good thing.

We've got this. Don't lose hope. Don't give up until you have the answers you need to get yourself to a better place mentally. We deserve it.

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Healing #Happiness #Support

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Severe depression (post suicidal plan)

Warning: suicidal plan/ thoughts mentioned.

I don’t even know where to begin this post… I had a suicidal plan on Friday which I thought about for a long time that evening but didn’t end up completing. Fast forward a few days later and I still feel like sh*t, just extremely depressed. I tried to end my life in March of this year, it was my first suicide attempt. I have been thinking about suicide since I was a child but because I live in an abusive and neglectful house, those thoughts/ feelings are never spoken about EVEN after I finally attempted and even with me having a history of this. It’s Halloween and I had a very rough day at work. I’m so depressed I don’t even wanna watch my favorite tv show and I’m afraid I’ll end up going to the local bar to drink my troubles away (I have a history of alcohol abuse) and that won’t make me any better either. I’m lying in bed in the dark, no desire to have dinner or do anything else. Thank you for reading this post 🙏🏻 #Bipolar1 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #ADHD

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Hurricane SFC Zachary

Part 1 of 2 Sixteen long months ago, my life jumped the track to a hugely different timeline and trajectory. In the time since that point of impact event when my dear baby brother ended his life, I have frequently thought of dates biblically. Before Zach (BZ) and After Zach (AZ). As my weather obsessed kids and I have been tracking Hurricane Idalia from the safety of our land-locked living room, a new categorical nomenclature has emerged.

A beautiful life that ends by suicide should be catalogued like a Hurricane. Like the weather event, it should be thought about in three distinct, non-overlapping phases: formation, landfall, and aftermath.

Hurricanes are called different things (tropical cyclones, typhoons) but they all are colossal in size. As displaced air grows, huge clouds form and spin until a recognizable eye of the storm forms.

This eye easiest viewed from outside the storm. Much like a person lost to suicide, very rarely is this outcome a spontaneous, explosive incident. Every storm is as unique as a fingerprint but comes from the same template. Hurricanes move slowly and wreak insurmountable damage for prolonged periods of time. For example, Hurricane Katrina’s effects terrorized the lands it passed over for more than a year.

FORMATION

Experts, we who have experienced these types of loss, will tell you it was not one thing that went wrong. It was one million things and often so acutely that our loved one could not even come up for air long enough to accept help. While the storm is in the ocean it builds momentum as it feeds on heat and moisture. Some hurricanes have all the ingredients to destroy but spend their fury on an open ocean. It takes ideal circumstances for these storms to emerge.

A precise mixture of rising air and low wind shear. A small difference in wind speed could stop it in its tracks. But the homeostatic environment often does not interfere. Just like humanity. Suicide is horrific and so uncomfortable, that all we can acknowledge is ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘That’s awful’, but statistically after 3 weeks people won’t reference our loved one or check-in on us survivors anymore.

Paul Quinnett PhD says it like this “non-response can be interpreted as permission to proceed.”

Be the interference.

Ask your loved one the uncomfortable question before this brewing storm makes landfall. Storms often creep along slowly, 10-20 mph, our loved ones may have been struggling in front of our eyes for longer than we could have imagined enduring.

In my brother’s case there were copious points when his storm’s momentum grew. We moved frequently, so we never established hearty roots to fight uprooting during the F5s.

A circulating storm that dissipates midocean was not an option after losing a parent, abandonment, addiction, abuse, neglect, an unstable marriage, and sixteen years in the United States Infantry.

LANDFALL

A hurricane is set to make landfall when the center moves across the coast, or the eye of the storm is over land. There are AREAS of the world more prone to landfall (i.e., Florida) and when the storm hits land friction increases while cutoff from supplies, the winds decrease at a constant rate. Storms may shrink when they hit land, but landfall is when the most damage occurs.

Power outages, downed wires, storm surge, flooding and flying debris causes more injury and death than the hurricane overhead. Zach’s landfall started with PCS to Germany, a failing marriage, COVID-19 pandemic sidelining troops, alcohol abuse, and hypertension. On his 36th birthday he received a DUI while riding a scooter back from drinks with friends. His last 6 months were the point of no return, his cone of uncertainty became more determined.

AFTERMATH

Once the storm has passed and the rebuild begins, it is the only point where you can really evaluate the awfulness of this disturbance. When your home looks different you can spot the hazards to your health and safety. Besides external changes, internally overwhelming anxiety, worry, sleep problems and depressive symptoms may dominate. Hurricane Sandy formed October 22, was post-tropical October 29 and dissipated November 2nd. If the storm lasted 11 days and the recovery 14 months, that puts the rebuild at 38 times the length of the initial disaster.

Often communities prepare for impact with sandbags on the ground, boarded up windows, and stockpiled water. Most times these preparations are unnecessary, and the homeowners can return to life and be proud that they were ‘ready’. Other times the storm surge will raise the water level a few feet and cause nonfatal damage. The savvy homeowner who lives in hurricane territory will say “this isn’t their first rodeo”, grab a beer, call their home insurance, and chalk this up

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Should I drop him? I want to help support him but then won't tell me how.

Hey,
I am having an issue with one of my friends addiction to alcohol. I am not a male and i also dont have a lot of males that open up about mental health and addiction. I have no clue how to support him, because I don't understand his mindset and what he needs. Also I told him I don't know how to support people because in the process I start losing myself.
We also went on 3 amazing dates and we never stopped talking and even when we did it wasn't awarkward. He told me beforehand that he is an high-fuctioning alcoholic, I just didn't see how bad it was till I saw it for myself.
I told him that since my smoking weed and drinking has gotten a little out of control plus having bipolar 2 and taking medication, I did not want to see him and other people around me drinking or smoking weed, until I can handle being around them and being ok with it.
He said he understood but now doesn't respond to texts or responds really late in the day. He apologized and said he is sorry for being distant..and now I haven't heard from him in 4 days.
I just don't know if there are any books out there that help people understand from another person's view on addiction.

Stay positive everyone :) #Perspective #Addiction #AlcoholAbuse

(edited)
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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Bogmonster and I'm in the UK, maybe I should be using my real name but I've been on the recieving end of descrimination as I am sure many have. I was diagnosed with GAD and 'Affective Disorder' in 2014 after a mental health breakdown and a suicide atempt.
I've been struggling to manage my mental health since then, and have a set of management strategies that are not very good and scaleable. This last year had been tough, my father died in January and my sister died from alcohol abuse in June. I found myself back in need of professional help again. The mental health team are now treating me with symptoms associated with Complex-PTSD, namely 'emotional flashbacks'. Its only relatatively recently that I realized my 'anxiety attacks' were really emotional flashbacks. I ended up here as I also have Aphantasia and was researching flashbacks and Aphantasia.

I have really been struggling recently but thankfully I am now getting some help and I'm on a waiting list for EMDR therapy. Wishing everyone the best, BM.
#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

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How can I substitute the urge?

I've recently started struggling with a disfunctional way of soothing my mind, which is taking whatever at hand, from mainly alcohol to various meds, in a sort of compulsive way.
In the past I struggled a lot with self-harm urges and now it seems to me to be the same pattern here.
When the urge arrives, then, sometimes I asked myself what to do instead able to soothe me the same, and I answered self-harming. Which I don't want to do again.
There must be an alternative, but I need hints.
Waiting until the urge goes away doesn't work. Distracting myself neither.
I now decided not to touch alcohol in any case, even in casual social occasions.
I have my opinions and am aware it's not healthy for neither my mind nor my body, but the urge is there and knows nothing apart from the fact that the feeling I get from the misuse attracts me so much I can't say no to it.

#Alcoholism #SubstanceAbuse #SubstanceMisuse #Alcohol #AlcoholAbuse #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety

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Bipolar disorder symptoms the highs and lows

#BipolarDisorder

In bipolar disorder, the dramatic episodes of high and low moods do not follow a set pattern. Someone may feel the same mood state (depressed or manic) several times before switching to the opposite mood. These episodes can happen over a period of weeks, months, and sometimes even years.

How severe it gets differs from person to person and can also change over time, becoming more or less severe.

Symptoms of mania ("the highs"):

-Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement

-Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile

-Restlessness

-Rapid speech and poor concentration

-Increased energy and less need for sleep

-Unusually high sex drive

-Making grand and unrealistic plans

-Showing poor judgment

-Drug and alcohol abuse

-Becoming more impulsive

-Less need for sleep

-Less of an appetite

-Larger sense of self-confidence and well-being

-Being easily distracted

During depressive periods ("the lows"), a person with bipolar disorder may have:

-Sadness

-Loss of energy

-Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness

-Not enjoying things they once liked

-Trouble concentrating

-Forgetfulness

-Talking slowly

-Less of a sex drive

-Inability to feel pleasure

-Uncontrollable crying

-Trouble making decisions

-Irritability

-Needing more sleep

-Insomnia

-Appetite changes that make you lose or gain weight

-Thoughts of death or suicide

-Attempting suicide

You can refer to this:

resiliens.com/resilify/program/cbt-for-bipolar-disorder

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Can We Truly be Healthier and Happier as We Age?

In 1938, Harvard began a study which over the course of the duration of the research included over 700 participants. Through many interviews and observations over time, the results have discovered there are certain characteristics that make someone happier and healthier.

Many people believe the key ingredients for happiness are career achievement, material success, exercise, or diet. However, the most consistent characteristic over the nearly 100 years of research was “positive relationships with family, friends, and community”. The study determined positive relationships increase happiness as well as keeps us healthier and live longer.

One of the researchers found the participants who had strong support systems in place were less susceptible to mental deterioration as they aged. As we know, connecting with others boosts mood.

The researchers discovered genetics still played an important role in longevity, but it was less so as determined by satisfying relationships in midlife. Other factors contributing to happiness and better health were physical activity, staying away from alcohol abuse and smoking, having coping techniques to handle life’s ups and downs, as well as a healthy weight.

Below is a guide to cultivate proper relationships that will contribute to your overall health and happiness.

1. Learning and growing.

2. Emotional closeness and trust.

3. Romantic intimacy.

4. Fun and relaxation.

5. Smile intentionally and often.

6. Express gratitude and appreciation.

Your Action Plan

1. What can you do to increase your happiness and overall health?

2. Try to work on improving one of the six guides listed above.

3. Check out the link to the reference to find more guides to cultivate proper relationships.

Reference

What Makes Us Happier and Healthier?

#Health #Happiness #MentalHealthAwareness

What Makes Us Happier and Healthier?

The Harvard Happiness Study is ongoing after more than eight decades.
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#CPTSD Needs your voice.

It was only in 2018 that I discovered I struggled with CPTSD. Most of my adult life I believed I was reacting to my mother's physical abuse. The idea that childhood emotional neglect is equally--if not more--damaging floored me. Really? Is the thing that I've been fighting my entire adult life actually... invisible?

I have posted here about finding new language for CPTSD as it is so unrecognized that it's near impossible to talk about. So many other "mental illness" conditions spring from Complex PTSD--often developed from longterm childhood impacts. Traumatologist John Briere suggests, "“If the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized as CPTSD, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (used by all mental health professionals) would shrink from a large dictionary to a thin pamphlet.”

Let that sink in for a minute.

Some survivors have suggested they would never talk about it--perhaps because it's too painful, that no one understands anyway or that it's private. I urge you to consider this:

--As a child of the 80s-90s, the LGBTQ community was not largely recognized. Many of these people hid their identities for fear of ridicule, inability for loved ones to understand and accept their reality and the world did not have a language for talking about and recognizing them. We do now.

--Drug and alcohol abuse is an intensely personal and private journey stemming from issues that are not understandable or visible just by looking at the symptoms of addiction. There is an AA meeting in just about, if not every, city in America. There is community, support and a language for sufferers to gather. We need this.

--Cancer is a topic we put on stage--in national fundraisers, community and workplace support groups with physical products and symbols we can wear to show support. This is an intensely private journey that, if you do not have it, you may not be able to full understand. And yet people of all walks of life--with or without the illness--talk about it. We need this.

These are just three examples of how it's possible to turn a neglected, unknown and invisible topic into a world where it's okay to suffer from CPTSD--and still belong, and still feel seen and have the tools to have dialogue that can help you.

I encourage anyone who is on their journey to discovering, working on and healing from Complex PTSD to use your voice for all of us.

#ComplexCPTSD #CPTSD #Childhood #Trauma #Childhoodemotionalneglect #CEN #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder

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#CPTSD Needs your voice.

It was only in 2018 that I discovered I struggled with CPTSD. Most of my adult life I believed I was reacting to my mother's physical abuse. The idea that childhood emotional neglect is equally--if not more--damaging floored me. Really? Is the thing that I've been fighting my entire adult life actually... invisible?

I have posted here about finding new language for CPTSD as it is so unrecognized that it's near impossible to talk about. So many other "mental illness" conditions spring from Complex PTSD--often developed from longterm childhood impacts. Traumatologist John Briere suggests, "“If the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized as CPTSD, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (used by all mental health professionals) would shrink from a large dictionary to a thin pamphlet.”

Let that sink in for a minute.

Some survivors have suggested they would never talk about it--perhaps because it's too painful, that no one understands anyway or that it's private. I urge you to consider this:

--As a child of the 80s-90s, the LGBTQ community was not largely recognized. Many of these people hid their identities for fear of ridicule, inability for loved ones to understand and accept their reality and the world did not have a language for talking about and recognizing them. We do now.

--Drug and alcohol abuse is an intensely personal and private journey stemming from issues that are not understandable or visible just by looking at the symptoms of addiction. There is an AA meeting in just about, if not every, city in America. There is community, support and a language for sufferers to gather. We need this.

--Cancer is a topic we put on stage--in national fundraisers, community and workplace support groups with physical products and symbols we can wear to show support. This is an intensely private journey that, if you do not have it, you may not be able to full understand. And yet people of all walks of life--with or without the illness--talk about it. We need this.

These are just three examples of how it's possible to turn a neglected, unknown and invisible topic into a world where it's okay to suffer from CPTSD--and still belong, and still feel seen and have the tools to have dialogue that can help you.

I encourage anyone who is on their journey to discovering, working on and healing from Complex PTSD to use your voice for all of us.

#ComplexCPTSD #CPTSD #Childhood #Trauma #Childhoodemotionalneglect #CEN #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder

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