Alcohol Abuse

It was only in 2018 that I discovered I struggled with CPTSD. Most of my adult life I believed I was reacting to my mother's physical abuse. The idea that childhood emotional neglect is equally--if not more--damaging floored me. Really? Is the thing that I've been fighting my entire adult life actually... invisible?

I have posted here about finding new language for CPTSD as it is so unrecognized that it's near impossible to talk about. So many other "mental illness" conditions spring from Complex PTSD--often developed from longterm childhood impacts. Traumatologist John Briere suggests, "“If the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized as CPTSD, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (used by all mental health professionals) would shrink from a large dictionary to a thin pamphlet.”

Let that sink in for a minute.

Some survivors have suggested they would never talk about it--perhaps because it's too painful, that no one understands anyway or that it's private. I urge you to consider this:

--As a child of the 80s-90s, the LGBTQ community was not largely recognized. Many of these people hid their identities for fear of ridicule, inability for loved ones to understand and accept their reality and the world did not have a language for talking about and recognizing them. We do now.

--Drug and alcohol abuse is an intensely personal and private journey stemming from issues that are not understandable or visible just by looking at the symptoms of addiction. There is an AA meeting in just about, if not every, city in America. There is community, support and a language for sufferers to gather. We need this.

--Cancer is a topic we put on stage--in national fundraisers, community and workplace support groups with physical products and symbols we can wear to show support. This is an intensely private journey that, if you do not have it, you may not be able to full understand. And yet people of all walks of life--with or without the illness--talk about it. We need this.

These are just three examples of how it's possible to turn a neglected, unknown and invisible topic into a world where it's okay to suffer from CPTSD--and still belong, and still feel seen and have the tools to have dialogue that can help you.

I encourage anyone who is on their journey to discovering, working on and healing from Complex PTSD to use your voice for all of us.

#ComplexCPTSD #CPTSD #Childhood #Trauma #Childhoodemotionalneglect #CEN #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder

My father is 50 years old & has been dealing with substance & alcohol abuse since his early 20s.

He was able to kick his cocaine habit 19 years ago, but that's also when his drinking took on a whole new form.

When he's sober, he's a loving & kind man, proud to be a single father, creative & charismatic. He could easily befriend anyone & you'd find it difficult to point out a flaw. When he's drunk however, I shamefully admit that he is the worst person you could have the misfortune of coming across. He becomes aggressive, impulsive & chaotic. He spews nasty & hurtful insults towards everyone in the house as he stomps & stumbles back & forth through out, slamming some things while breaking others. He calls family members to insult us & them while proclaiming his greatness. If I didn't eventually learn how to keep my distance & block him out during his binges, I think we would've fought a lot more than we already have (yes, it's gotten so bad I had to literally fight him).

Thankfully, we have a very honest & profound relationship. We've talked several times about his childhood traumas, his ambitions, his failures, how these could be underlying causes for his alcoholism & how professional help could be a main tool for him to get sober.

These are conversations we've had since I was 10, but for some reason it only sparked something in him last year. He went from drinking all day everyday to not touching a single glass of alcohol. He started reading a new book every week, learning about & working on wood carving projects. He started budgeting his disability checks, saving up money & paying for driving classes to get his license back. He started caring about himself & his image. He was doing amazing, more than amazing, he was perfect. He was finally being the father & man I would cry & beg for as a child, but something happened.

I wasn't there, so I really am clueless as to exactly what went down & how, but he left with my grandmother to run errands & I stayed at home caring for my grandfather. Normally, the roles would be reversed, but since he had a driving class, we switched roles that day & I regret it so much.

He came back 2 hours later SHAKING with anger. He walked around in circles chain smoking cigarettes in the backyard, yelling about how my grandmother is ungrateful, incapable of loving, she's the devil, disgusts him, makes him sick, the list went on & on. I thought if I tried talking to him, he'd calm down but he would just turn on me instead. He yelled at me about how my grandmother said disgusting things about him, myself & our overall existence & relationship in this family. He then went to his kitchen, grabbed all items my grandmother ever bought & proceeded to throw them in the trash.

Mind you, he's completely sober up until now. Not a drop of alcohol.

The yelling & chain smoking cigarettes/walking in circles thing goes on for a while. I'm trying to talk him down still the whole time all of this is going on. He's ranting & ranting when he finishes with "then she doesn't want me to drink?! how?! HOW?!". I just stared at him, told him I loved him & though I know it's hard, it would mean the world to me if he didn't cave in & drink.

Big mistake.

"YOU THINK THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO ME? YOU REALLY THINK THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO ME?"

This is the first time in my 29 years of life that me telling my father something like this brought out hatred & rage. I can normally calm him down, give him a hug & he remembers that his daughter loves him & all is well.

He threw his cigarette on the ground, grabbed his bike & left. He came back hours later, completely intoxicated, drenched from the rain & you could smell him from a mile away.

This was 3 days ago & this whole situation has been on loop since. I found more than 7 empty bottles of red & port wine on our kitchen table today, where he insists they stay so "our family can have something to talk about". He's been stomping in & out of the house, slamming doors, spewing insults, the list goes on but none of these are what worries me.

He came in my room the 1st day, talking about leaving. He's done this before, so I thought he was just venting. After making sure he made it to bed at night, I relaxed & didn't think much of it... but he brought it up again the 2nd day, a lot & in more detail, though very broad & secretive with said details.

I've been really worried as to what "leaving" means to him, so even though he hates me right now, I've been trying to get him to talk about it.

He's super incoherent, so a lot of my attempts to talk are met with insults, a cold shoulder or non-related answers, most not even directed towards me but possible "spirits or people he may see"? (he hasn't said this himself, but his behaviour suggests he feels other people around him, as his speech & behaviour isn't that of someone talking to themselves, but to others).

He says he's "not disappearing to commit suicide, but he wants to be left alone to travel by bus & visit certain family friends", mentioning a family friend that actually lives a mere 15 minutes away, so it makes no sense. He's been sticking to this reason for the past 3 days, altering it slightly but I still don't have a good feeling about this. The only times he's approached me with some sort of coherency was to give me what's left of his money saying "it isn't much, so save it", telling me how & when he does certain household tasks & to remind me he "won't be a bother for much longer".

I've told my aunt (his sister) & she thinks it's another breakdown & he's acting out the way he normally does but something feels different to me, I don't know why.

Could anyone possibly give me any advice with this situation?

#Addiction #Alcoholism #Suicide #Depression #Delusions

Part 1 of 2 ADHD in women is an extremely common condition. More than 10 percent of American women have ADHD, which is a disorder of the central nervous system. Women with ADHD also tend to have more difficulty concentrating on three-D projects, such as writing and reading. While researchers are not exactly sure why this occurs, most believe it has to do with changes in neurotransmitters known as dopamine and norepinephrine. Dopamine and norepinephrine are substances that allow nerves to communicate with each other.

Common Symptoms of ADHD in Women:

Lack of concentration

Hyperactivity

Distractibility

Impulsiveness

The lack of focus and hyperactivity is considered “comorbid” with ADHD, which means they are both symptoms of the disorder itself. However, there are some instances where women are treated separately from their co-occurring conditions. For instance, children with ADHD that also have Asperger’s syndrome or a co-occurring disorder such as obesity, depression, alcohol abuse or drug addiction may need to receive separate treatment. In these cases, the medications used to treat the child with ADHD will likely be used in conjunction with therapy and behavioral modification techniques.

Women with ADHD have certain characteristics that are unique to the disorder:

Women are much more likely than men to exhibit symptoms of both hyperactivity-impulsivity and ADHD combined with depression or other mood disorders.

Women tend to be more emotionally intense and are much more prone to mood swings than men.

Women with ADHD also report more frequent sleep issues than men.

They also may experience higher levels of anxiety and depression and are more likely to engage in risky behaviors.

There are four criteria for diagnosing Women with ADHD:

The first is that symptoms must interfere with life and/or academic functioning.

The second is that females must be seen by a specialist such as a psychiatrist or child psychologist or a nurse practitioner.

The third criterion is that the specialist must determine that inattentive type ADHD is present.

The fourth criteria requires that the female must have been treated with psychostimulants for at least six months before she can be diagnosed with ADHD.

Girls with hyperactivity disorder have been less well studied than ADHD in boys. There are a number of theories about the gender differences in ADHD but no hard facts. Researchers believe that girls are affected more by biological factors than boys and that boys are more likely to be treated with prescription medications rather than behavioral therapies. It is believed that girls are less likely than boys to engage in risky behavior and that genetic factors are responsible for the symptoms of hyperactivity disorder in boys and girls alike.

Boys and girls respond differently to treatment regimens. Boys typically respond to positive parenting and positive reinforcement treatments. Girls generally respond to dietary changes and medication.

ADHD Treatments:

Diet and Exercise have consistently shown to be effective treatments for women with ADHD. However, one important factor that must be considered in treatment is that the women with ADHD are normally pregnant or nursing and are in a state of low nutritional condition. This can affect the results of the treatment. Women with ADHD may respond to treatment initially but once their babies arrive they may not be receptive to medication. The bottom line is that diet and exercise need to be part of an overall treatment program for women with ADHD.

Dietary interventions have particularly shown success in controlling obesity. Women with ADHD and obesity have a greater risk of developing conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and certain types of cancer. Impacts of ADHD on women varies by factors such as the level of body fat and activity, but all women with ADHD are at increased risk of becoming obese. Thus, diet and exercise must be a central component of treatment.

A well-controlled trial by Bahnsman et al. found that women with ADHD had a greater fat mass and a higher fat mass index than women without ADHD. Women with ADHD also had more significant reductions in their BMI than women without ADHD. These findings are important, especially since the typical treatment protocol for both genders, dietary control, has not been proven to reduce obesity in a meaningful way. This study is important because it adds another possible mechanism through which the hyperactivity-impulsivity factor may interfere with diet and exercise. This brings us to the second point made above: women with ADHD may be more sensitive to diet and exercise than women without ADHD.

The third important point is that women with ADHD are likely to be over-sensitive to diet

I’ve noticed that my last few sessions with my counselor that she’s just listening and then commending me for my ‘progress’. It doesn’t even seem like talk therapy anymore. She’s has been a huge help in my journey, but now I think I need more than just Talk. I need assignments, practice sessions for communicating with others, goals to help set good habits, someone to gently push me past my comfort zones, etc. So how do I “break up” with my counselor in a kind and respectful way? I don’t know how to do this. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #INFJ #codependent #Selfharm #AlcoholAbuse #Anxiety

Part 1 of 2 This article may be triggering to some people. If you are having #SuicidalThoughts , contact the suicidepreventionlifeline.org at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

“Daddy is in the closet with a gun…” This was the welcome I received by a child after ringing the doorbell of a friend’s home. The wife had expressed to me that her husband was working more than he could mentally or emotionally keep up with. I know he survived that day, however, I lost touch and I’m unsure how things are today. I hope he found the help and life balance he needed for himself and his family.

My friend’s husband falls in the highest category of suicide rates: the middle aged white man.

White males accounted for afsp.org/suicide-statistics of all suicides in 2019.
Men are afsp.org/suicide-statistics more likely to commit suicide than women.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7444121 men are affected by #Depression every year.
Men die of #AlcoholAbuse at a rate of www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7444121 comparatively.
Use http://4.https//www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/male-depression/art-2004621 means to attempt suicide than women, such as guns.
Showhttp://4.https//www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/male-depression/art-20046216 than women before a suicide attempt.

How can we reduce these statistics? First, let’s look at the warning signs. Signs of Depression in Men:

From a young age men are taught to www.menshealthnetwork.org/library/depression-anxiety-males-report.pdf and not cry; it follows that most men do not develop healthy coping mechanisms or the emotional vocabulary to address emotional pain. They are less likely to articulate their #Depression or need for help. Depression may be easy to recognize in some men with fatigue, sadness, or lack of interest, but other www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/m.... They may have:

Escapist behavior, excessive time at work or sports
Physical symptoms: headaches, digestive problems and pain
Problems with alcohol or drug use
Controlling, violent or abusive behavior
Irritability or inappropriate anger
Risky behavior, such as reckless driving

These risky behaviors can lead to relational and legal problems worsening the depression, so it’s important to recognize the signs as soon as possible.  Violence to others and self, Psychotropic Medications, and Mental Illness

We have established that men are not encouraged to express their feelings. Therapy is all about talking and expressing feelings, therefore, it’s not considered a manly coping mechanism. How about medications? I have frequently been told by friends and the media that medications only worsen the problem. But do they?

Mental illness and psychotropic medications www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2686644.
http://9.https//www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00018/full are at an increased risk of suicidal ideas and attempts with antidepressants.
People with mental illnesses account for only www.forensicpsychology.org/MarvastiHandout2019.pdf.
People with both http://9.https//www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00018/full than mentally ill patients without substance #Abuse issues.
While some psychotropic drugs list irritability as a potential side effect, there are other pharmacy.uconn.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/2740/2020/05/Agg...: anti-seizure medications, steroids, immunomodulatory drugs, antivirals, oxycodone, creatinine, marijuana, caffeine, and alcohol.

The fear of increasing the risk of suicide or violence combined with social stigmas create barriers to proper treatment. This lack of treatment increases the risk of violent acts rather than preventing them. When appropriately treated, those with mental illness www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2686644 over the general population.  The increased risk of suicide is more in individuals without fully developed brains (under 24 years old), not older men. Substance abuse dramatically increases violent acts; substan

I am filled with so much anger and resentment for my emotionally absent mother. I thought I was over all this but I’m not. She has brain damage now due to decades of alcohol abuse and I’m excepted to care for her after she neglected me for the last 25 years. She was in the hospital for 2 months… she had a seizure while withdrawing from alcohol. My phone rang non stop. Doctors, nurses, social workers, hospice teams, aunts, uncles, cousins, brother, sister and father, all calling me about her health. She hasn’t been available to me for so long. She has abused me, neglected me and made me an outcast. I’ve felt unloved and rejected, scapegoated and cast aside. She even tired to keep me away from my father because of her own jealousy and warpped thinking. I hate that I’ve been infected with this poison. This disease called alcoholism. It wasn’t my choice, but I’m stuck with the effects of it. I am raging on the inside. Don’t ask me about her when she’s the reason I’ve hurt for so long. Don’t manopolize my time with bullshit questions and suggestions. Don’t you dear put more on me after I’ve had to bare the weight of her attacks, shame, and disregard for her own life all these years. #Depression #Anxiety

I woke up sober today and it feels good, I write it down here because I want to remember it.
Also, midday sunlight doesn’t look so violent today and the wind smells good. Hope the day continues to be calm.
One day at a time. #AlcoholAbuse #Autism #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Anxiety #ChronicDepression #Selflove

I really understand how people relapse after quitting drinking. With everything live throws at you, it could be so easy to just drink it all away. Yes, I'm aware drinking doesn't cure anything. Yes, I'm aware it's a horrible coping mechanism that causes more problems. I'll be damned though, it sure does feel good while you're riding that wave.
Recently I told my therapist that I could easily relapse, and he suggested I start going to AA meetings. I don't know about all that though, I'd rather torture myself with the ever looming doom of becoming a shell of a human again than to face the fact that I am shit at coping.
#AlcoholAbuse #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder