Askingforhelp

I’m in a BAD place. My whole life, every aspect, has just imploded & I’m just not seeing much point in carrying on anymore. I reached out and told some people that I was reaching my breaking point last wknd. They have been lifelong bffs that I thought were my support system. Not one of them has checked on me for a week. I’ve been alone with my destructive thoughts, feeling like I’m drowning, and the people I thought would be there aren’t. I’m not usually so fatalistic, and it’s very hard for me to ask for help, so when I do it’s a big deal. But they’ve all just brushed it off, and now I feel like it’s a sign that maybe it is just time to be done with this life. #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #AbusedTeacher #Loneliness

Hi Everyone! So I have chronic pain in my hands, chest, and arms from Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. My doctors have always told me that I need to exercise and keep my muscles in my arms, shoulders, core, and chest active and strong...but it's so hard. I have such a hard time exercising through the pain, and even just getting up the motivation to try. What do you do? How do you do it if you've figured out a mindset that works?

#Askingforhelp #Exercise #Motivation

I did what I didn’t want to do. I asked for help. From a few people.
My psych, who is now seeing me every two weeks for now.
My case manager, who is working on finding me a therapist.
My mom, who is now safe guarding my meds.
And my boss, who has been amazing.

The ideations are back. Do I have a plan. No. Do I have access to crisis lines and units, yes. But… just in case.

Mom is holding my meds, I get enough for seven days, and she watches me. (Funny story, not really, but anyway… bottles of pills are apparently my go to when having a full blown anxiety attack. Hence why my mother has my meds.)

Everyone is worried. Concerned. Trying to figure out how to help. I wish they knew that everything they are doing right now is everything to me. #triggerwarning #Depression #Askingforhelp

I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember but the breakdown of my last relationship has highlighted huge patterns that have been getting worse all of my life and after a complete breakdown (lasting just a few hours but it felt like the end of the word) I have been referred to my local mental health team, I have been doing a lot of reading and BPD screams at me that this is the diagnosis that has been missing from my life. I’m so anxious about the call tomorrow and being assertive enough to make myself heard and having the internal battle of feeling like a burden to our NHS but I have to seek some answers that have long been outstanding. I know a diagnosis isn’t a cure but a start of a journey at helping me to build more stable relationships and help deal with the constant crippling fears of being abandoned by people I let in to my life.
#bdp #BPDDiagnosis #MentalHealth #Askingforhelp

I fell unimportant, like everybody else deserves good things, but I don't. I get stuck in my thinking quite often, particularly in this area. It just kind of pervades my life. I have to struggle throughout life; I can't experience love and safety; I have to let everyone else take whatever they want from me; I can't buy a new car; I'll never own my own home; having goals is pointless because I'll never get to fulfill any of them. I just don't matter. Other people are worth more than I am, so I can't ask for what I need and definitely shouldn't hope to get it even if I ask for it. But I did ask some safe people for some things I needed this week, and I got most of what I asked for. This conflicts with my beliefs and offers a glimmer of hope that maybe someday I will be as important as other people are. I'll no longer have to debase myself and can possibly find some happiness in life. #Selfworth #Askingforhelp #Hope

Today was the last goodbye to my Bella. She was cremated then. When we picked up her ashes, I told mum I’d like to start seeing a therapist.

I admitted to her that I am thinking of suicide, about my anger issues, that there were occasions where I hurt myself and that I’m not okay and have no idea how to get through it now that I’m alone without my dog that kept me above the water.

I tried to tell her for over an hour before finally having the courage to do so. But I’m genuinely too scared of having a dark moment without my dog to comfort me.

I tried to start therapy many times before but always backed out, so I figured that if she knew, she would help push me, I would actually do it.

She wants me to start as soon as possible and already sent me two links.

#Askingforhelp #Grief #deathofapet

A lot of people in mental health have problems taking their medication. My problem is that I love taking my medication. With not distinction between the controlled or uncontrolled substances.
For almost half a year now, my pharmacy has been filling my medication into a lockbox. Which has been helping so much. I get my meds, correctly once a day. For $20 a month.
This month, they did not lock it properly. I could of just gone and told them. I should of. But no, I didn't do that.
I mean my first thought was, you don't need to do this and I meant it but I said to myself fuck you... and I have screwed myself.
I can no longer trust the pharmacy.
I just texted my best friend. I told him I messed up again tonight. He has known. I asked for help. I told him I would follow his rules unwavering.
We came up with a framework for a plan.
A 31 day medication planner, 30 minutes a day for me to talk to him about how I feel about sobriety (although it's not quite that, it's more like an OCD tick for any pill) but I suppose sobriety nonetheless and I thought I would start a journal about it. Also, we would get a lockbox, since I stay at his place so often. And the $20 a month, I would put aside. #medicationmanagement #Askingforhelp #Sobriety #Psychmeds #takingmeds #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #SubstanceUseDisorders #SubstanceAbuse #SubstanceMisuse

I typically go to this guy when I’m feeling really depressed or suicidal, but we are also really good friends in general. We haven’t talked a lot recently, but lately I’ve been getting pretty bad and I want to reach out to him, but it feels off and it feels like he’s being burdened with me and doesn’t want to help anymore. I don’t know if that’s true or not, because he’s a really genuine guy and has said I can come to him at anytime no matter what, but I feel hesitant to reach out because I feel like a burden to him and that he doesn’t want to help me as much anymore, which is fine if that’s the case but I’d rather him tell me. At the same time I also don’t want to ask that question because I feel embarrassed, guilty, and shameful in a way. Any advice on how to go about this, deal with this, or ways to get help in a place that’s not him? #help #Anxiety #suicidal #Depression #Askingforhelp #needadvice

I don't have a diagnosis but I've known for well over a decade that something is "wrong". Whenever I feel bad enough to actually go to my doctors to seek help - which I always find hard to ask for - they always seem to be trying to rush me out of the door like they can't be bothered to deal with me because I don't know what the cause is. I think long and hard about what I need to tell them and inevitably don't get it out because I feel like they're not listening and are trying to speed through the appointment. I usually get told to go for more blood tests and end up with either iron or vitamin D tablets. Like a deficiency in my blood is making me believe I don't belong in this world and question whether I want to be alive? The tablets never help.
Things have gotten worse than ever this year. I think about dying a lot. And thoughts of suicide have finally started to creep in after dodging them for so long. I took a week or two off of work at the beginning of the year to try and deal with things. A couple of months later I found out that my long term, live-in boyfriend cheated on me while I was going through that, at my lowest point when I needed support the most. Since then everything has just been a rollercoaster. Not a fun one.
On top of everything else I have done a lot of research and have reason to believe I've been living with undiagnosed ADHD or something similar.
I need help. I want answers. I am tired of always feeling lost and confused. But I feel like with working full time I never have the time or energy to focus on myself properly. I'm scared to take time off of work because I don't know how I can afford to live, but I'm also scared to keep going to work because of these thoughts of not even wanting to live anyway that are never being dealt with.

Should I take time off to try and get a psychological analysis and explore what may be causing these feelings? Or will potentially putting myself in financial jeopardy only make things worse? Please let me know if you've dealt with something similar.

#Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation #ADHD #Undiagnosed #Timeoffwork #Askingforhelp