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Shutting down at work

I can feel myself shutting down and switching off at work after months of stress in my job. I knew that I was stressed and my body has started screaming at me as I literally feel the stress in my bones, but I didn't realize how close I was to a crash. I feel like I am low-key preparing for not being in this position for much longer, like wrapping up client files.
The thing is, I can't imagine applying for new jobs or moving to a different workplace, so shutting down isn't really a viable option. But it's also just happening without a conscious decision.
I don't know what to do. #Work #Stress #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #CPTSD #stuck #Financialstress


I need prayers please as I need a financial blessing, I have been off work since September, my short term disability stopped, I have $7.00 in savings and a $100.00 in Checking, please pray that God will come through, and quick, thanks for having me here, thanks for support, care, love, acceptance.

#self -Care
#no Shame
#no support


BPD and my impluses

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Impulsecontrol #Financialstress #Financialburden

I have BPD and I have been in therapy for 5 years now. I think I’m getting a better handle on my emotions, not going to lie there are better days than others. Right now, what is causing me to feel so much guild, shame, and disgust in myself is my inability to stop spending money on sh*t I don’t really need. My therapist wants me to start tracking my spending and identifying why I bought it and what describe my feelings. I have gotten myself out of debt and now I am back in it. The worst part is that I am supposed to be saving money for a down payment on a house that we want to buy next summer. I can save the money but then I don’t have enough money left over after I pay off monthly bills. The crazy part is that I have lots of money left over but I always shop, shop, and shop as if I have a damn money tree in my yard. I am so tired of feeling this way and I have never really sat down and analyzed all these emotions that I am feeling. I feel like an addict, trying to stay clean, except my addiction is spending money. I want to stop this behavior. I want to stop sabotaging myself. I feel more comfortable feeling like a failure so that when I am succeeding, its foreign. So, I go back to what does feel normal, failure, total failure. The other worst part is that my husband is used to me being this way and isn’t disappointed anymore. I don’t know what’s worse, disappointing someone or not disappointing them anymore?!? I told therapist that I just don’t know what to do. For once, I am not trying to avoid answering a question, I really don’t know what to do. I have starting tracking my spending. We’ll see how that works. But, I wanted to just put this out there. Hoping that maybe someone can relate. Hope someone has some advice or at least an “your not alone.” Sorry for the long post.


So grateful! #Therapy

The centre my therapist works out off received a grant and I am going to be able to get *seven* *free* *sessions*!!! I've been feeling so stressed out about money and feeling like I have to pack as much as possible into a session in case I have to stop going in the near future for financial reasons. This is such a relief and I feel like I will be able to make more progress without worrying about the cost for a few months. I am already receiving a discount on my regular sessions thanks to generous donors, as this centre runs as a charity, but this is just beyond amazing. So grateful!

#thankful #Therapy #MentalHealth #Financialstress


I need prayers if u believe in them

I need prayers if u believe in them.

I have several Health Issues, been off work for a while, in that time my bank acct became negative, I've had people say they would help me, only to be turned away, blocked, lied to, big time negative, -666, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, see the Surgeon tomorrow, for my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, not sure if she'll send me back to work or not, as I'm a Cashier, so, at a loss atm.

Thank u all for being here for me.

I'm friendless, unloved, etc.


1 comment

Why can I not get any rest

I am exhausted mentally and physically. I can not stop crying, I can not sleep because when I try to I have vivid nightmares, very violent and terrifying it feels like a symptom of ptsd somehow. I have taken time off work but I don’t know if that was a good idea because I am going to struggle financially and this is just making me stress even more. I keep scrolling through the contacts on my phone contemplating who to call for help but I feel guilty of burdening them and making them worry but I desperately need to speak to someone, I am alone in this room I have flatmates but the last thing I want to do is breakdown in front of them. I have got like 5 pounds left in my account so I am stuck here I cannot go anywhere even if I wanted to. Why can depression not leave me alone?
#Depression #PTSD #Insomnia #Financialstress


Mental health issues and relationships #Addiction #manicdepression #Anxiety #MightyTogether

Relationships are hard enough without addictions, depression and anxiety getting in the way. Then comes along financial stress and worrying how u r gonna pay rent the car loan, and put food on the table for the kids.

My partner has severe depression that ebbs and flows and I just want to live in a happy bubble.

We have a 17 month old little baby boy and that is what I am holding onto as things are tough at the moment.

Anyone got advice for dealing with depression and all that life throws at you whilst also trying to hold onto relationships? #Financialstress