Gooddays

I’ll have #Gooddays & I’ll have bad, though I’m still constantly struggling with my #innerself daily. There are a lot of things I know I have to do, but either my #Anxiety gets worked up, or I’ll try to get it done, or I tell and/or give myself reminders & still somehow end up forgetting about it or I’ve become distracted.

I’ve noticed that my train of thought can now go all over the place. Which is why I now have a lot of notebooks that I could use if I needed to let it out.

When it comes to phone calls I need to make, or appointments to schedule… I spend hours worrying about the #Start - #during - & #End of the whole thing. Before I know it, I can’t call because they’re now closed. Of course now I’ve become #Irritated & #angry at myself.

It never used to be this hard. I know I need to find a job, even IF the job I had #terminated me in part of my #MentalIllness . I feel stuck with no #Positivity in site. & It doesn’t help that even with or without my anxiety ramping up, my #Pride will not let me ask for help.

But…
•I give myself a ‘thumbs up’ daily for getting out of bed.
• I cheer when I have motivation to shower.
• I pat myself on the back, in my mind of course… when I do laundry & put them away.

I still struggle with driving anywhere if I’m alone. Hunter, who is my furbaby soulmate, but also my #esa is always by my side, & either one of my sons or sometimes both would join me so I’m not freaking out while driving on the road.

I feel #Guilt that I’m not being the mom that they need me to be. I feel bad every single time I ask them for help (when I’m getting #overwhelmed trying to tidy up the house). I am mad that my #breakdown caused me to fail in my performance at work & that I #Struggled to do the things they asked of me (because I was never informed from the start that there was info that they could show me & help me with #FMLA ‘cause it would’ve been easy back then to get things in order than it was a couple of months ago). I felt #invisible . I felt my #Voice didn’t matter. I tried… all by myself… in the end, the company I loved working at didn’t give a … about me.

I’m sorry for ranting about nonsense. :(

Tough times lately either really good days or really bad days and it’s tough fighting your head and body everyday

Finding a balance each day

Appreciate any positive vibes or prayers etc my way! :( and I’ll do the same for you! #Anxiety #struggling #Gooddays #Baddays #Selflove #tough #IntrusiveThoughts #racingthoughts #Trying #triggers #Shame #PTSD #MightyTogether #Tryinghard #tough #sucks #sad #Hope #Depression #SocialAnxiety #BPD #MentalHealth

#signs #Healing #discomfort #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD #Depression #Baddays #Gooddays #Therapy #MentalHealth #stability #ItGetsBetter #copingskills #ChangeIsPossible

HAHA! 😆

Sometimes you need to laugh. Especially when it comes to mental health and working. It sounds strange to some, but there are times where you have to focus on the things that really are truthful.

Such as the photo above, a good laugh about a concept like someone telling you to have fun at work. Sometimes work can be fun, but sometimes it really is not. But! That's OK. Everything happens for a reason.

You will have #Gooddays and #Baddays but that is alright. Everyday can be just a day, and eventually whatever it is you're experiencing that day will pass. It's often times sad, but other times happy. But regardless of whatever emotion you're experiencing.. eventually things will boil down to just "I am OK"

So laugh today.
Smile.
Cry if you need to.

Just Be You.

#authenticity
#BipolarDisorder
#strongone
#Depression

Honestly even though I didn't do anything really, it was a great day!
Letting go of anger, doing my sunday exercise routine, my plank challenge ( which is a challenge!) 2 laps around my block. I felt great! I woke up Sunday actually feeling refreshed first time in a LONG time! but it could have been all that sleep on Friday!
It was just a good day!!
Monday morning is not as great, I can feel that fatigue slipping in!! I will do my best to go to bed early early tonight!
Today, I am working, we are going to go for our morning walk after breakfast, get the kids to play while I do my plank challenge for the day!! When the kids go home, I am making an easy dinner tonight, go for another walk with Loki, try to meditate before bed! That is something new I am going to try!!
New month, new week, new day! Hope it is a good one!
#Fibromyalgia #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Fatigue #Gooddays