Lowmood

Hi, my name is jem1510. I'm looking for advise on how to deal with jealousy in a platonic FP relationship. My FP recently became friends with someone and she told me this person makes her laugh like I do. I was also replaced on Snapchat as her ‘number 1’ best friend by this person. I can see this is becoming an intense and strong friendship for her and I don’t know where that leaves me. It’s caused me to go into a typical BPD reaction and I think I’ve caused some irreparable damage and she wants to take some space. I don’t know it’s just imagined out of my fears of abandonment or if it’s real, but I can see this person being to her what I have been over the last 4 year. I am still on a waiting list for counselling. I have learn to recognise that it’s irrational to be this way, people can have multiple close relationships. When someone gets a new friendship it is exciting for that person so I know maybe it can take precendent over older relationships for a while. I am currently respecting her wishes and giving her space. I just need to know how to navigate this. I have literally just read about reacting in the opposite way that you jealousy demands you to act. I probably could have used this a few days ago before I went full BPD cling on my FP. Does anyone have any tips on building self esteem and self worth from within ? Getting self worth that doesn’t come from the love you get from your FP ? Also any tips on how to act if I am with them both, so as to not let it show that I am jealous and uncomfortable if they are bonding and laughing together in front of me. Thanks 🙂

#MightyTogether #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD #BPD #BPDFP #Jealousy #Insecure #lowselfesteem #Lowmood #MentalHealth #faveperson

Feel really low. Someone save me life’s sucks. Endless pain 🙁🙁 #Anxiety #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Lowmood #down #help

I had a brilliant week, I finally could breathe a bit better but it seems that when I say I’m better something bad is always happening.
Last week I rant up about my home problems, tonight being at work I received a call from my dad telling me that my grandma cannot breathe.
Instant anxiety attack.
I’ve been to office talked with my shift manager and at break, I’ve met with my dad outside the workplace saying he’s gonna go home because she cannot breathe and to lend him some money.
I’ve talked with her at phone, it was disturbing for me., struggling to breathe, to say anything, I felt her pain, I can’t describe but it hurt me so much.
I went back,inside, booked emergency holiday, stayed till 2 and after went home.
I have an airplane to go home in 3h, hopefully she will not pass till than 😞
Like I told to my boss, I cant do it, it is so hard for me, knowing that she’s not feeling alright is killing me.
She grew me till i was 16-17, i cant she s like a Mom FOR me.
I’ve tried everything to try to calm down, I can’t, I had another anxiety attack ☹️
I don’t know what I’m gonna do because after I had my trauma at work, I don’t think I can go through grief 😖😭😭
#Depresion #Lowmood #Anxiety

× " I Feel Like I Do Too Much To Empress People And Why?... Should I It's Not Like They Truly Care Or Give A Damn These Day's. I Have Met So Many Rude... And Sometime's Nice People On My Ride's To And From Work... Or At Work.. I Feel Like I'm Trying To Empress Entitled Jerk's Everywhere... I Don't Really Need To And What's Worse Is I Care What People Think Idk Why??... I Can't STOP!! Doing This... I Feel Like I Need To Be Locked Up Alone With No One Around Me... My Mind Keep's Telling Me That Nobody Will Come To Love Me Or Even Like Me... I Have Been Feeling This Way Since I Was Little... " × ☆ S. K. ☆ #Selfesteem #Lowmood

× " I Worked Last Night's Shift... I Litterly Cleaned The Entire Store... There Was Help But The Kid Was Very Useless... And Never Pick's Up After Himself... So It's Very Rare For Me To Snap At Someone... Let Alone A Co-worker That's Not Helpful At All And Lazy. Now I Understand Why The Restaurant Industry S**K's It's The Most Body Breaking Disgusting Job Ever... I'm Alway's Cleaning Restroom's Etc... The Men's Was Horriable Someone Smeared 💩 All Over The Bathroom Wall's... And The Floor.. It Litterly Took Me 2 Hour's To Clean It Up... And The Women's Restroom Flooded With Brown Paper Towel In The Tolilet 's... I Re-Stocked Everything Took Out The Trash... So I Called In This Morning Because My Body Is Killing Me.. My Boss Wasn't Too Pleased Obviously... Well I Can't Alway's Be Your Only Employee Cleaning Everything All The Time. Other People Need To Start Doing The Same Thing's. She Has No Right To Be Mad At Me... For Calling In Sick My 1st Time... I Alway's Show Up In My Uniform.. And On Time... I Do Everything That She Ask's Of Me... I'm Loyal But At One Point... I Care About My Physical And Mental Health Alot Now... That I'm Starting To Break Down.. She Made Me Feel Bad For Calling In Today. " × #MentalHealthPhysicalHealth ☆☆ S. K. ☆☆

× " I Feel So Out Of Place Sometime's When It Come's To My Sibling's They Make Me Feel Like A Failure In So Many Way's. This Is Why I Keep Alot Of Thing's That I Have Been Through In My Life To Myself. Because All They Do Is Critique Me... Or If I Want A Partner In My Life. My Happy Place Is At Work... Because I Get To Destress My Sibling's Stress Me Out. This Is Insane... So I Was Thinking About Doing The D.N.A Testing Thing Because I'm Adopted... Now I Have Decided NOT To Go Through With It.. Why Because One Of My Sibling's Just Did It... And It Turn's Out Thier Biological Father Is A Child R**** Predator.. So Yeah It's Best To Be My Unique Self After All... My Mighty Family Is Right Here... And I Couldn't Be More Happier To Have This Better Gift. " × Sincerly, ☆ S. K. ☆ #overthinking #Thought 's

× Hello , Mighty Family... It's Been Awhile Unfortunately This Will Not Be A Poem Tonight... I Have Been Having Anxious Feeling's At My Job.. All Because Of A New Guy... That Like's To Get Too Close And Like's To Touch Me. I Hate Being Touched By Anyone. Because Of A Decade's Old #sexual Assult. Now I Told This Guy To Please Not To Touch Me. And He Doesn't Listen Yesterday When I Tried To Sign In To Work. He Came Up Behind Me I Turned Around And He Scared Me. I Told Him Excuse Me To Let Me Pass. And He Didn't Move Or Listen... And Stood In My Way Like He Was In A Daze. This Co-Worker Only Touche's Me No Other Female's. So Now I'm Scared To Go To Work... And Stressed Out. I Already Let All Of My Female Bosse's Know. What He Has Been Doing To Me. I Deserve To Feel Comfortable x Safe Coming To A Job That I Love Doing. Now I Feel So Shamed For Telling Them. I Don't Want The Rest Of My Male Co-Worker's. To Feel Uncomfortable Around Me Now. I Feel Like I'm A Shit Starter x Drama Queen Now. I Can't Stop Crying I Don't Know How To Feel. I Like All Of My Co-worker's. The Rest Of The Men Respect Me x My Boundarie's. Now This New Guy Is Making Me Feel Like I Should Quit My Job. He Won't Leave Me Alone. #Depression #AnxietyAttack #Lowmood

The #struggle is real... 💜

When I first joined #themighty I wanted to try and remain as #positive as possible, creating #conversations and asking questions and getting advice from you guys that would in turn help me navigate the life of #fibromyalgiasyndrome 🙏🏻

I am in the first year of suffering with widespread #ChronicPain every day that I wake up, it even keeps me from sleeping at this point #painsomnia

As well as only being #diagnosed for around five months, it's like a rollercoaster ride that I can't seem to keep up with but... With many more lows than highs 🎢

I am alternating between #insomnia and I seemed to have developed some kind of #tinnitus that rages away in my head 24 hours a day! And being so #fatigued that I cannot physically keep my eyes open; when this happens I do not eat, I do not get dressed, I do not look after myself, in fact the most I can do on these days is go to the bathroom and back to #bed

I feel so #upset and occasionally #angry that I'm doing the bare minimum... Sometimes not even that! And I'm still #struggling 😢

My doctor checks in about once a month to extend to my sick note, reorder my medications ALL of which are #anxiety and #Depression related with no strong course of #Pain relief or any pain relief at all I am told to just stick with over the counter and to take them "as and when"

I am supposed to have appointments with the pain clinic but I'm still waiting...
I have reached out to an ME/Fibromyalgia support group local to me; but I'm still waiting...
I just feel like I'm getting #worse and all I can do is #wait for the #help to come and find me. I barely have the #energy to #fight and I don't have the #knowledge to know where to go from here

I know its still early days and many other people with #Fibromyalgia have had better and worse days and that it is a journey BUT my goodness this is hard! I just want to sleep and to not wake up because it all seems so overwhelming right now 😴

I don't even know where I'm going with this #post but I just felt as though I needed to let it out on a platform that is #caring and #understanding and has helped me feel like I #belong for the first time in a long time so thank you to anyone who has interacted with me and giving me #advice it really is appreciated!

Now I know why many of you go by "Fibromyalgia Warriors"... It's so true; every day is a battle with your own body... Except you're losing 😣

Hoping for better days to come! Today is not one of them and I need to remind myself that it's OK. But more often than not when you're deep in the thick of it, it becomes hard to see the light

Trying to be positive but some days it's much harder to reach. And even if no one reads this I'm just glad to get it off my chest 💜

#Fatigue #tired #Lowmood #MentalHealth #OnedayAtaTime #paingry #rant #paragraph #dayinthelife #honest #hopeful

Day 2 worse than day 1. We ended up having a middleman (that volunteered) because I just couldn’t talk to him.

Asked the doctors to give me more anxiety meds like they did once before and they called me back same day and have them prescribed now.

On the bright side, I finished my antibiotics today.

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #breakup #Lowmood #AnxietyAttack