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Anxiety, cptsd, depression

This probably isn't good for my anxiety, cptsd and depression but seems to be what gets me through my nightshifts and the crash comes and I can sleep after a 12 hour shift.....
#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #CPTSD #Energy

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Rise And Shine . Today is a new beginning and opportunities to seek and develop the life you have always imagine. Starting one step forward at a time.

#positivemindset # positive #Energy

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Seeking joy and hope in a restricted life #Energy #ChronicFatigueSyndrome

I'm stuck in a bit of a loop.

My energy levels mean that I can't really do anything in the evening anymore, and the things I really miss are gigs and alternative clubs. I'm now on a mobility scooter and can't stand for long, so accessibility is an issue even if I broke my schedule of sleep and rest to do it.

I'm struggling to find things to look forward to/aim for that I think I can actually get. I'd love to think I'll improve enough to go to a music festival again one day, but it's not helpful on terms of building hope and finding joy.

Has anyone found useful ways to help their thinking on this? There are lots of things I enjoy that aren't music/live event focused, but those things don't feel that same need for me.

What do you think?

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It's a Long Haul

Hey Friends. How are you today? I hope you are well.

Today I thought about how much it #sucks when you are trying to get a #Job . My friend contacted me earlier today and was in tears because she is struggling to find work. Why is this so #difficult ??!!

I know how #Challenging it is to just find a job, but to keep one is also another challenge. Do you have a #MentalIllness ? I do. #BipolarDisorder is not fun. There are days where I have more #Energy than I would need, and then there are days where my mind is so #foggy that I cannot #think straight. It's #awful but I do what it is that I have to do to try and get by.

Whatever your struggle is... whether it is #Trying to find a #Job or if you are trying to keep your job... I'm here for you.

#CheckInWithMe

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Sending you all a bit of love

For anyone struggling or going through a hard time whether it’s physical health, mental health or both, sending lots of love your way ❤️❤️❤️ it’s hard sometimes but you are tougher, hope you feel a little extra love and support today 💗 #physicalhealth #chronic #struggles #Selflove #hugsifyoulikethem #PositiveVibes #Energy #MentalHealth #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Selflove #Acceptance #Support

21 reactions 2 comments
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Anyone else need a little mental health or wellness nap 😴 💤?

Sometimes stress, sadness, fatigue, or so on I just need a little recovery nap 💤 and I feel much better after. Anyone else need that boost in energy or wellness sometimes? I get so depressed when I’m extra tired idk why, but exercising and trying to be less sedentary etc helps, and when you live in a super rainy and cloudy ☁️ 🌧️ ☔️ whenever the sun ☀️ comes out it helps

#rainy #Rain #nap #powernap #wellness #rest #cope #recover #Energy #tired #sunny #Cloudy #Weather #MentalHealth #Selflove

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I hate insomnia because it suck all the energy up.
During the day, when I'd like to do my stuff, I feel like avoiding any place where I could lay down on; because, if I surrender, the tiredeness is gonna have me and then I usually just become more and more depressed.
I think I should stand up, then, and do something, if that's what I want, but there is no energy to; and this makes me sad.
I'm craving for some restful oblivion.

Any tip?

#Insomnia #tireness #SleepDeprivation #Energy #sleepdisorder #Sleep #tired

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Throwback reflection

There are times when what has been becomes suddenly much more real then usual.
Not as a flashback - they're definitely different - but more like a realization that what's in my memories, in my patterns, in my body and mind has really happened, some time ago in my life.

What surprises me the most is:
I'm not fine, even though I'm better than in previous months and years, but, the hell, compared to before it's like I'm in Heaven.

It doesn't bring me the positivity and mood switch I might expect, it weights the same, most of the times, but it surely helps me redimensioning the whole picture.
I'm grateful, overall, for one thing: now, when I have my crisis, they're still bad and, sometimes, worse than other times years ago, BUT they're crisis: they happen from time to time. (I'm not talking about being on low mood; to me, before, it was much more than that: tentacles slipping out of my head trying to choke me and smash anything inside and around me).
I can feel my mind clean, and, yup, I'm now crying, all of a sudden.

I'd never wanna go back to before.

A week ago I was writing a post I've never shared and, when recalling the bad effects the thing I was talking about had on me, I realized the list was very very long and very very painful and messy.
What makes it often difficult for me to comprehend my patterns and problems is that I tend to hide them, and then forget about them, over the years.

Thing is, there has been terror.
I don't wanna include the details, because I'm aware that for someone they could be not nice.

I shared this picture (search for Riftress on Pinterest, if you're interest - I really like these works) because it is one of the pics I saved back then.
Something have sucked up my own self from my life and I think it was the exhaustion from that period.

Crying helps me too.
If now I'm crying, it means it really has been hard.
Since I tend to hide and minimize, since people shared their issues with me and rarely listened to me, always ignored the signals I was pointing out and since things for me often changed - environmentally speaking - I tend to forget.
To me, now, it feels like I'm based on a void past.
It doesn't mean I'd wanna linger on it: just that in order to understand why I am the way I am today I need to recall.

Times like this one, though, makes me wanna go back that before and erase everything. Why it had to be so damageful.
Again, though, I tend to hide: none really witnessed in person any free expression of my mental state, so, then, it feel more righteous to minimize it. This confuses me.

Though I think it's not fair to compair: the same trauma can have different outcomes on different people; that's why I think crying is helpful -> it spots out the fact that what I'm feeling and thinking about - recalling - has really been a hardship for me.

But it seems impossible that all the dark lump has really left. Did it?
Instead of feeling and expressing itself in dark and full of --- ways*, my mind's just flat. That's the new pattern, I guess.
I've been backfired.
* I don't really feel at ease sharing details, again, but I don't know how to express it.

I still have issues to work on, sometimes - often - I just can take my mind anymore, I often have no energy to live my life, but sure it changed. Time heals.
And I've understood myself and other people better, in the meanwhile, which has been another fundamental turning point.
And I can't express how grateful I am whenever I get to become more aware then before. I love understanding.
So - I still can change and for the better.
There's and I have hope in it.

#Reflection #throwback #Trauma #Crisis #time #Understanding #past #Memory #Pain #cry #Life #mind #pattern #backfired #Healing #Awareness #HealingProcess #exhaustion #Monster #illness #MentalHealth #growing #growth #Present #Hope #change #Grief #Energy

22 reactions 5 comments
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How to cope with a turbulent home life?

Any tips or your own experience/ struggles turbulent or non functional families where everyone fights miscommunication grudges insults etc resentment. Sometimes it gets better but typically it’s only good and then it gets worse. #dysfunctional #Family #Toxic #belittle #Abuse #Fights #Energy #Draining #lovethembutitshard

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Writing My Way Through A Manic Episode

Things are moving at a pace most people can't keep up with. Their inability to keep up only fuels my energy. And yet, my anxiety is high. I want to go out, I am tired of staying indoors. This seems to be a contradiction. You would think that my anxiety will keep me inside. But no, I am getting antsy just sitting here and want to do something, anything. The faster I type, the more energetic I become. It's almost like it's unbridled. I had to force myself to sleep last night. I tried to stay calm but that didn't really work. I don't know if I'll get decent sleep tonight. I feel wired, like there's something inside me that is making me feel this way. My fiancé says I'm like a Jack Russel. I just have boundless energy. I feel enlightened and have a renewed desire to continue learning languages, religious exploits and I am talking at pace that people say they can't understand me. Personally, I do not see it that way. The more I type the more I want to say. Does writing your way through a manic episode help you or make it worse? I find writing to be a great coping mechanism. I wish you all the best and I hope that you accomplish all you want. Stay strong my friends:)

#BipolarDisorder #Manic #Mania #Energy #Writing #coping #help #checkin

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