lightheaded

Fragmented I guess is the best way to explain how I've been feeling lately. Do you ever feel like you're drowning in your own thoughts, everything with your health, with your stress, but everyone is walking around you breathing just fine. They might feel for you because they care but no one is exactly in your shoes. I'm 23. I can't even lift a gallon water bottle without the urge to pass out walking out the door this morning. I used to have a life once upon a time. I get reminded sometimes when I see my friends since childhood posting about their amazing lives now and I'm so happy for them. They're hiking and traveling and doing all the things I used to do, that I can't do that I dream about. I close my eyes and wish for freedom. I wish I could be healthy again constantly. I wish I could go back and tell everyone it's okay they don't have to worry about me anymore I'm fine. I was raised to be independent, now I can't drive, walk fast, run, jump, bend, exercise without passing out or having the feeling of wanting to. Last Thursday my husband and I were at our friends' house and I started to pass out at the dinner table and tried to fight the feeling (I caught myself by the palms of my hands on the table) my best friend Ash walked me to the couch and gave me some water next thing I know I was out. I was unconscious for the longest I had ever been this time. When I came back this time everything was blurry even though my glasses were still on, I couldn't recognize anymore or hear anything anyone was saying because it was all too muffled sounding. I was totally disoriented I didn't know where I was, what had happened, or what was going on. Another couple of minutes passed and my vision and hearing returned to normal and I was once again lucid. That has never happened to me after fainting before. My cardiologist cancelled on Friday because she had an emergency Save a Heart case and I was supposed to get the results of my Echo, and Tilt Table Test. She thinks I have POTS. So does my Neurologist. I'm just ready to find out what the hell is wrong so I can get on with a treatment plan I'm tired of living like this. #Fainting #POTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #dizzy #lightheaded #IIH #IntracranialHypertension #Migraine #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Anxiety

Dear life, when I asked if I could feel any worse, that wasn’t a challenge!

The antibiotics definitely aren’t working, and the side effects have me feeling worse than ever before.

How awful I’m feeling makes me want cuddles but I only saw my boyfriend yesterday so I’ll just have to wait it out :(

#breathlessness #nausea #heartracing #Dizziness #lightheaded #antibiotics #SideEffects #Fever #Sweating #lossofappetite #illness #Infection

Current Mode: Curled up on my bathroom floor hugging the commode. Using toilet paper for a pillow.

#bowelobstruction #vomitbowel #Gastroparesis #GastroIntestinalSpecialist #BackPain #Backinjury #DegenerativeDiscDisease #discherniation #SpinalStenosis #exposednerve #StressSeizures #Smothered #RestrictiveLungDisease #Lowbloodpressure #lightheaded #bathroomfloor #ChronicIllness #RheumatoidArthritis #Osteoarthritis #UncontrolableNausea #PelvicFloorDysfunction #Pelvicpain #Vulvadonyia #Surgery #ColonSurgery #ExcisionSurgery #Backsurgery #Biopsy #Colonoscopy #Endoscopy #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Adenmyosis #Endometriosis #OvaryPain #medications #malnourished #Malnourishment #Canteat #BipolarDepression #Depression #CPTSD #PTSD #Flashbacks #Nightmares #BadMemories #Trauma #MentalHealth #UntoldStory #Nosupportsystem #Selfharm #Selfinjury #Riskybehavior #EatingDisorders #overwhelmed #overdone #OverStressed #Stress