super

#Trauma #Therapy for #PTSD 1st time really “ready” to open up with #Psychiatrist at 37 #childhoodtrauma #abuse #neglect #fearofabandonment #psychologicalabuse from a father that I would describe as #CharlesManson with a #TheBible in one hand and #Alcoholism in the other. In addition to a family that #rejected me completely so much so that on both sides of my #Divorced #Family I had rules that if I walked in the room within one minute all of my cousins had to leave my #physical presence because I was just #different but never had #behavioral #Problems just major misunderstandings and what seemed like a lot of #bad luck because of the many #Labels that seem to get stuck to me throughout the years in public #Education . So I was sent to live #alone with my #Father at 11 on a #cult like farm with no access to the outside world (no modern technology including TV, Radio or Phone) and he #brainwashed me as a #Child to never speak to anyone or they would lock me up and throw away the key or call me a liar and ignore me completely. So I have major #Trust #issues and have no clue where to begin when I see my #Therapist via video this week. I also have #ADHD with a #mind that is #hyper #creative and #super analytical seems like a #Gift and #Curse when expressing my #Thoughts and #Emotions #help #Advice #ParanoidThoughts

I went for a very calm and beautiful walk today with my darling husband and my wonderful youngest son. It was just so nice to walk and chat with them and to look at at this amazing view. Today was good. #super tired now (Howth Cliff, Ireland )