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#hyper #Bipolar2Disorder Poss trigger

Ok so I’ve been up and down for a few months now and tonight I’m really up. Had coffee today (three cups ) and it has fuelled my hypomania mood, allowing me to let go of the lows I have been feeling for the last week. My therapist said I should steer clear of coffee as I am so sensitive to caffeine, and my husband agrees - but I feel so much better when I’m efficient fun and good to be around. Although this is different - tonight I want to pierce myself ( my lip and septum ) not unusual for me when I have excess energy - but something is stopping me. I’ve communicated with my husband that I want to and that in itself feels like an admission of guilt!!!!! Am I growing up lol at 41? I’m better handling my moods and my responses to them. But that doesn’t rake away the fact that I’m looking for a buzz. Hence why I should stay away from buzzee coffee.


How to keep going

I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at 14. I also have GERD/gastritis and esopogitis, chronic headaches/migraines and hyper mobility. Medication doesn’t work or I’m allergic to it. No one seems to get it and even my doctors don’t always believe me. I have depression and anxiety but we can’t afford the counselor that I really connected with. I miss my life…I feel like I lost my childhood and now there is no going back…how do you handle the pain, hurt, loneliness and depression every day. There is no cure.

Anyone else feel the same?

#chronic migraine
#hyper mobility

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#Therapy for lifelong #Trauma #PTSD 1st time at 37 #help !!!

#Trauma #Therapy for #PTSD 1st time really “ready” to open up with #Psychiatrist at 37 #childhoodtrauma #abuse #neglect #fearofabandonment #psychologicalabuse from a father that I would describe as #CharlesManson with a #TheBible in one hand and #Alcoholism in the other. In addition to a family that #rejected me completely so much so that on both sides of my #Divorced #Family I had rules that if I walked in the room within one minute all of my cousins had to leave my #physical presence because I was just #different but never had #behavioral #Problems just major misunderstandings and what seemed like a lot of #bad luck because of the many #Labels that seem to get stuck to me throughout the years in public #Education . So I was sent to live #alone with my #Father at 11 on a #cult like farm with no access to the outside world (no modern technology including TV, Radio or Phone) and he #brainwashed me as a #Child to never speak to anyone or they would lock me up and throw away the key or call me a liar and ignore me completely. So I have major #Trust #issues and have no clue where to begin when I see my #Therapist via video this week. I also have #ADHD with a #mind that is #hyper #creative and #super analytical seems like a #Gift and #Curse when expressing my #Thoughts and #Emotions #help #Advice #ParanoidThoughts